HappyPainter

Is it me or did I notice that there an underlining "trust" issue. I think that insurance companies are hurting from all the huracane damage and probably arn't being to good with helping people. They have limited funds that are probably close to tapped out. (all the claims). So helping the friends is more then likely a true statement. It may also have multipul reasonings. NC probably would be a great idea to get your thoughts in order. Absense makes the heart grow fawnder

If things are too hard for you to deal with you will need to NC with her. She is doing exactly as she said, "Looking to see whats out there". You need to do the same for the time being. You don't have to get serious with anyone but if it happens it happens. Her loss at that point. But along the way the absense of you will give her the chance to reflect on her life and your past relation. There is always a chance but never a gerantee. You guys are still in school and still have another step in life for exploration. When we get out and "Have to" do the life thing we tend to look at things that matter most. She's already told you that your relation with her is something that matters most (why she still wares the ring, OBTW the order she listed isn't true. Rings are a dime a dozen. The 3rd reason is actualy #1). Life and love both have thoes ups and down. Balance in all things is needed. She is a little out of balance and needs to fill the other side just a little.

Ok so here is a small update. I've already recived the signature card. It was signed by her and I verified the signature. I didn't want to find out someone signed for it for her. The signature was dated 2 days ago and she's not rushed out and made a phone call thus far. Not sure if my mother has herd from her or at least she hasn't told me she has. So maybe a letter. Its not been that hard as of yet. But I will say this sure has stirred up old feelings and thoughts. After reading a bunch of the posts here, I'm greatful that I have had the time to reflect back on the past over the years. With this situation coming up like this I'm sure I would have screwed things up, in lieu of the posts I'm reading. My daughter, work, household, etc. makes things pass quickly so its not been bad at all. I have a big project coming up so I'm not too concered if she contacts me or not. However I still do wish for a 2nd chance. I've even lined up a possable date in the coming week anyways. (Woot! its been a couple of years..... LOL) Now you know what would be typical in my life. I'll get hooked on this new girl and she will finally decide to call. DOH! Thanks to all who have posted on this forum base. It does help, makes you think and puts things into reality. HP

Yeah but this all falls back to just one letter. The orignial letter "to return photos" Yes it was mostly about me. All the other stuff could be just coincidence and whishfull thinking. I estamate that if I'm going to hear from her. It will be at least 3 weeks. Week for the letter to get there. A few days to think things over. A week to get something back. The thinking could take longer or less and I could just get a phone call. Ok so ill shut up now...

Women are much smarter then men give them credit for and that is that. I even think that there is some hidden agenda about the sterotypes that have been portait about women. I think that possably it was promoted by some smart women to get men to think women are not smart. ;-)

Ah she knows the connection we have. She is very close to her as well. remember I dated this girl 4 years and married 5. When she gave me the letter. We had gone over it many times trying to anlaize it. Back at Xmas one of thoes "Signs" popped up for her. She was diging thew the closets she said. I guess looking for stockings to hang. When a Santa hat fell on her. She came running out to the living room in tears with it in her hands. The Santa hat had been in there for 11+ years and forgot about. It was last warn by my ex the last Xmas we had together at my parents. She played Santa handing out gifts. I have photos of her handing out the gifts wearing it. (Some of the only photos I have of her) We figure that sending the letter to my mother checks to see if its ok to communicate with me. For her to send back a letter it was her telling the ex it was perfectly fine and looked forward to it. My mother was shocked about the divorce and I have this weird feeling my father (Passed in 2000) is quite upset with me about leaving her. He never said anthing to me about it. I think he was hurt I didn't talk to him about it befor it happened.

Yeppie.. My post made page 3... LOL Just something to make myself feel good!

Yes I agree fully with TigerWalk. When I came here I was looking for exactly that. Some posts that getting back together actualy worked out. I wanted to know if it was worth expelling any energy into my situation. I have a life and taking this extra chance for myself would be cutting into it. I for one, will definataly post to let others know. There was already a few posts that helped me so I must contribute and try to help others out also. Its only fair and its is helpful. Mouse, How can you say its not a success story (maybe I missed the whole thing) At least the ex told you he made a huge mistake. At least you got that as some closure. As I read that I would say thats actualy opening the door. How is it people think that things are going to work out right away? I would think that getting back together would have to be a time of re-learning and learning new. I would susspect that, for example If you were together 2 years and it takes 1 year to get over someone Lets say your apart 1 year... You work things out... (both) Wouldn't it stand to reason that Its going to take a long time to re-discover each other? How long I have no clue. I haven't gotten back together where it has worked out yet... I have done the together /break up / together / break up thing before but it never worked out.

Just remember that 2 1/2 years is much longer the 5 months. It will take aprox 14 months just to start to feel normal again for both ends. Regardless of her being with someone. If there were problems between you two and she jumped into a relation right after you two then thoes problems will carry over. Giving you an a chance to get back together. Thoes problems will be working against their relation. You will have the time to get thoes problems worked out of you. The problem here is if she does come back to you after she figures things out. She will not have had any time to work the problems out for herself. Its going to take time for you in any situation so I figure you should problem find something to take your mind off the entire situation or you will drive yourself nuts thining about it. You might as well start working on yourself. Pick up a new hobby, work on work, get out etc....

Get out of the house away from the computer.

I would say stop telling people you won the lotto. Get your self a good money advisor and disapear for a bit.

Dreams are your mind thinking free of rational thought. I don't put much into the dreams them selves. It is obvious that she is weighed heavy on your mind. Don't try to analize your dreams. Just enjoy the good ones and forget the bad ones. Oh and the fact that "You still don't know why she broke up with you" Tells me that you need this NC to learn about yourself a little. Maybe some of the reason is on your part. If you go and ask her directly she probably won't tell you. You have to learn these things on your own. But Love/Relations are a tricky thing and I could very well be wrong. As far a gay person. I've found that gay people are very open about this fact if you ask them directly. So if you get a chance to ask you might ask if she is bi or has been. If you don't and you move on you might ask the question up front if it bothers you.

Yes. People do relize that. I did... When they hook up with another with out taking the time to recover its called "Rebounding" and that usualy doesn't work out well How long were you together?

I think there is a small diffrence with your dreams. I don't want to sound negitive but you seem to have recently broken up with your ex. So she is on your mind alot. When me and my Ex seprated before the divorce I had nightmars because of it. So possably your subconscious mind is working overtime. I had simular experances with women I dated long after our divorce. You are still in that healing process of the breakup. Don't worrie you guys still have time to get back together. There are a lot of posts in here and others I know of where people are seprated for 6+ months and get back together. Something probably reminded me of her to cause the dreams and just before the letter it was coincidence. I'm not sitting around waiting for her. I would like to but that isn't healthy. I have this theory... There are 4 situations for a relationship. 1. Right place - right time (the one we want - happly ever after) 2. Right place - wrong time (doesn't work - I find a lot of these) 3. Wrong place - right time (doesn't work) 4. Worng palce - wrong time (Really doesn't work, get me the hell out of here) How long have you two been NC?

LOL.... I'm sorry I really suck at writing and getting my point accross. One of the reasons I never attempted to contact her before. No, I WANT her back more then anthing in this world, well next to my daughter. Oh jeeze that opens up all kinds of issues. Her daughter, my daughter and all in between. See way back when we were fighting (Before divorce) I "Asked" for the fighting to stop, to get the divorce. That is what is ment by I'm bitter about "higherpowers" and why I said becarful what you ask for. Years ago when I relized all my mistakes and understood myself I started getting these "signs". I would ponder them for a few minetes and go on. (She was probably thinking of me at thoes moments). Here, there, the little things would remind me of her. I would continue to push thoes thoughts out. Occasionaly something would really break me down and really think of her. This would go on for days. Eventualy I would continue on. Sometime around September05 I really started noticing these things. I started commenting about them in my private blog. But nothing happened.... My mother recived the letter in mid January. Four days prior to reciving the letter I was having dreams that I rememberd about her. Just out of the blue. Now I haven't had any dreams that I remembered of her in many years. I just find it very hard to believe that after 10+ years with absoultly no contact communcations etc.. That now she would be trying to contact me. Now it has been 2+ weeks since my mother wrote her back. Why hasn't she contacted her yet? It's hard to think that she would contact her with out thinking that the orginal letter was just as it was, to return photos. It is possable that she is opening that door and wanting me to contact her. See I'm still hung up on the fact that we have our own lives now. I know where I'm at in life but have no clue about hers. I have an opening in my life for her, is she looking for it? Does life really work this way, so destined, so mapped, so eventful? It hasn't up until this point. I haven't had actual "signs" that actualy were provable to me. So I'm being sinical twards this and maybe just using Occam's Razor is the solution to this whole ordeal. As I said this has been the bigest shock in my life and it has my mind going in all directions. In reality I need to just forget about this whole thing. Stop thinking about it. If it was ment to be then it will happen, then I will get a reply or phone call back. One can only hope!