DaMadHatter

One of my more interesting breakups was when I saw an ex at a club holdin hands and kissing some guy. I had specifically told her i was going to this certain club that night, and lo and behold she just happened to show up with some dude. Looking back at it I think she was too much of a coward to break up with me and wanted me to do it for her by letting me see her with this new guy. Long story short I confronted them outside and when he told me to leave "his" girl alone I lost it and proceeded to stomp him into the ground. Lucky for him and me the cops saved him or I might be writing this from a correctional facility . Needless to say we couldn't salvage the relationship. Never had a sit down talk or explanation to lay everything out just a simple F-U and F-U back. Ahhh the good ole days.

I think you should walk right up to her and punch her in the throat!!!! that'll teach her. But maybe that's just me. LOL

I say why? what's the point, you said it yourself you don't want her back and she's an emotional wackjob. I think she realizes that she screwed up and made a mistake by letting you go and if you contact her it'll only raise false hopes in her that you might come back, which you've stated is not gonna happen. I think for her well-being you'd better just let the past stay in the past.

I somewhat agree with the post above, I mean breakups suck no matter which way you look at it. But let's be real for a moment and realize it's OVER. I don't really see a point in trying to maintain some sort of forced friendship, not immediately at least, and definitely not if they wronged you. I think it depends on how intense the relationship was and how deep your feelings went for the other person. If they were deep you're only doing yourself a disservice by sticking around as a "friend". I have plenty of friends i don't need exes around as some sort of quasi weird dynamic friend.

That's hilarious, i love the fact that all these people were going through one of those "life moments" at the same time and decided to contact u. What does it all mean? it means they suck and u RULE!!!

Good choice bro, definitely don't have brunch with him or the WHOLE family. I mean does he know what she did to you? At this point it's over and you weren't dating the family u were dating her, once she severed that relationship any obligation u might have had to see or speak to her family went out the window. Geez what is the father thinking? doesn't he realize what an awkward situation it will put u in. Just decline the invite.

Hey solo i know what you're going through. Went out with an ex for 5 years before she left to see if the grass was greener on the other side. Same situation i did nothing to her. It sux i know. Best thing is NC, i did, i practically dropped off the face off the earth as far as she was concerned and fought every urge to contact her. Fast forward 3 years and out of the blue she contacted me 2 months ago, well by this time i'm over her and i politely explained to her that anything between us was in the past and i've moved on and suggested she do the same. Well u see, in the end I ended up ending it on MY TERMS, and now she'll go on wishing I gave her another chance. My point is that i'm sure sooner or later she'll realize what she had in you. So don't sweat it it hurts the jealousy, loneliness, anger, confusion, but it's temporary. You WILL find another girl that sees the same qualities your ex saw in you. Remember you did not lose them you just have them hidden because of the crap your going through. Get out there and take your life back. Good luck.

My 2 cents, As previously mentioned your gf sounds like she's into you. She is after all YOUR girlfriend so i think only way to lose her is for you to screw it up. I can tell you with 100% confidence this guy is "working" on your girl and is just biding his time until something goes wrong in your relationship, and he can swoop in for the slam dunk. Seen it happen at my job a few times. Definitely don't get jealous, or accuse her of anything, you'll only drive her into his arms. Communication is key here, set boundaries and let her know without coming off as psycho jealous bf that some things are not cool with you. If she cares for u like she sounds then she'll respect your wishes. Be good to her and i'm sure she'll be good to you. But don't kid yourself she did have a crush on him and "friends" is how it always starts, so be aware the first time u screw up in the relationship, he'll be the one that she'll go vent to, and chances are that's all he'll need. Good Luck!

I'm on the other spectrum that Ta ree saw is, i'm a devout believer in the almighty lord, and my faith in him is unwavering. We all go through trials and tribulations, we all come to a point in our life where we question everything including the exisense of god. This is completely normal and even healthy to a point. It's sometimes hard to imagine a higher power when we are down and out. You ask yourself many "what if" questions. Let's say you're right and christianity is just an illusion. Would ur life have been misspent believing in something as positive and wonderful as GOD? I think not. U will have to find your way through this period in your life. I agree that you should take a look at yourself and inform yourself some more. But I completely disagree that you should "accept NOTHING as fact until YOU can prove it. Not someone else for your but YOU." If you undertake this attitude you'll be defeating the purpose of your spiritual journey. As you well know the christian faith is built on FAITH, we believe GOD does not need to give reasons or proof to arrogant humanity to believe in him, we believe proof of his existence is everywhere. On your journey to find your faith in god or not please don't make the mistake of mistaking GOD for religion. Pastors, popes, churches, rituals, wars, dogmas are not i repeat are NOT GOD. Look inside yourself and ask what events have led you to this moment of spiritual disbelief? Speak directly to him, he will listen. Some say GOD is a crutch for the weak who can't fathom being all alone in this existence. I say GOD...IS ..this existence. Good luck on your journey!

Great poem blu, i found it really helps the healing process to take all your emotions and use them for something constructive like music, poetry, art. I can almost feel your pain in your written words. Please continue to bless us with your wonderful words, eventually your poems will turn to thoughts of hope, happiness, and well being.

Tricky situation, i'm sure the new bf still feels your relationship is still in the early stages and anything can happen. Including losing you back to the old bf. Obviously there's some feelings of insecurity he is experiencing. Now let me ask u is this new "friendship" your going to build with your ex really 100% plutonic, on both ends ie yours and his. I can see where your current bf would be concerned. Yes, you were with your ex for a long time and i think it's unreasonable for your current bf to expect you to drop him completely out of your life. However, i think it is way too early to start visiting and rebuilding a friendship with your ex. It has only been a few months, why are u so eager to jump into a serious friendship with the ex? You guys were together for 7 years and i think spending more than a a few months apart to let any residual feelings dissipate is a good idea. He'll obviously be in your life in some context ie friendship, but cant that wait? Shouldn't you be concentrating fully on making your current situation work. I would suggest to continue friendly relations with your ex through msn or other means but to not see him for a while until your current bf feels your relationship is solid enough. One of the things you can do to make the current bf feel less threatened by your ex is respect his wishes of not seeing the ex, at least for now until the relationship grows. Continuous visits with the ex and constant contact can bring back some of the old sparks that brought you two together to begin with, and is a very slippery slope. Be careful, and good luck

NO!!!!! DO NOT i repeat DO NOT tell her. It will only complicate things by putting stupid thoughts into her mind that she could later use against you. Save yourself the headache or argument and keep it to yourself.

That's the spirit Buli don't take crap from no one especially those who've ALREADY hurt u. From what u updated us on this girl seems like a total flake. Believe me she did u a favor by leaving, long-term you'll be better off without her. "I would want to sit down and talk to her. I would want to ask her what did I do to her to treat me the way she did. It was as if she despised me and could not stand me. She lied to me. She betrayed me. She HURT ME!!!" Man I said these EXACT same words 3 years ago when one of my exes left. U have to fight that URGE to want to ask her all these questions. believe me she wont have any answers for you, it sux i know, but some questions have to be left unanswered. Move on, stay strong!

ncallum, If i were in your position i would go one of a few ways I would a) during lunch casually veer the conversation towards relationships, attraction, dating or whatever, something along those lines. I would than tell her i respect her opinion and I wanted her advice. She would obviously say sure at which point i would ask her that you have a friend who has all these great qualities and you'd be interested in more than just friends with that person. That you've got a lot of great qualities this "friend" of yours hasn't seen and all u would need is a chance. And that u respect your "friend" very much and the last thing you'd want to do is put your "friend" in an awkward position. And u want to tell your friend how u feel but don't want to make her feel awkward. How would she advise u in letting your friend know how u really feel. IMPORTANT when telling her this make full eye-contact!! Usually this is when you'll get your answer. If she's a bright girl as i'm sure she is she'll realize your talking about her, and according to her response will kind of give u an indication on how she feels. This way it doesn't COMPLETELY leave u flying without a net and doesn't make it awkward. If she gives u a positive response than I would continue by saying. Well "insert friends name" in that case i want to let u know that your that friend who's qualities i admire and respect and want to know how u feel about that. At this point she'll either give u the go ahead and u can pop the champagne, shoot u down gently with some sort of "i like u too much as a friend" speech, or get brutal and verbally murder u on the spot. option b) would be during lunch once again veer the conversation towards, relationships, qualities in partners, gf/bf etc. This time talk about how the girls you've met lately don't have the qualities you're looking for and you're looking for someone with some of your qualities. At this point say something like "I have great qualities, i can be funny, charming, honest, loyal, and irresistibly good looking". IMPORTANT!!!! when you say this do it in a very confident manner smiling the whole time, than laugh and say well maybe i'm getting carried away, what do u think? would u say i have those qualities? She'll without a doubt say yes probably smiling or laughing (if u delivered it right) At this point i'd say smiling and eye contact "well than tell me why havent u and i gone out yet?....not as friends?" This is when she'll let u know how she feels. More than likely she'll say i dunno to which i'd say well than in that case let me take u out this weekend or whenver, on a real non-friend date. This way next time i ask u why havent u and i gone out yet? u can at least have a list of things to say" Once again when u say this do it smiling, almost laughing. From here she'll know your for real and if she asks if ur for real let her know u are. She'll let u know how she feels! Ooh I just saw that by the time you read this you'll probably have already had that lunch with her, so my suggestions might be useless. If that's so sorry bro. However, if not than arrange another lunch or drinks with her and go for it. Either way my suggestions aren't a manual feel free to adjust any which way you want. Remember be confident, flirty, smiling, and go for it your life is what u make of it. And in case she shoots u down play it off like it's no big deal and don't do anything different at work or she'll feel uncomfortable. Hope any of this helps either way keep us updated. Luck!

Now that you've got management involved it should all go well. BUT, if it doesn't and this woman continues picking on you get GANGSTA!!!!! on her. Jobs are great and important but your 22 this is your first job but definitely not your last. So what if u lose this job, unless your living paycheck to paychek u should be able to find a new one. I personally would start looking for other possible employment just in case. I once had something similar happen to me at work, my BOSS bullied everyone and when i got there tried it on me. I however soon explained to him that if he ever spoke to me in a disrespectful manner i would rip his head off and puke inside right before i took his stupid looking tie and hung him from his genitals as the office pinata =). Needless to say he didn't so much as squeak back at me. Left soon after, I'm still waiting for my recommendation letter =) My point is lifes short do u wanna spend it as a lion or as a rat. Paycheck doesn't mean they pay you to stay in check.