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DiscipleOfChange

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  1. DiscipleOfChange
    Talk about things you have in common, like a class or if not a class, something around school. The best way to break the ice with something comfortably common. And importantly, don't make it about a relationship from the get go. I mean, its okay to be interested in eventually being in a relationship, but its important not to come off that way.
  2. DiscipleOfChange
    Well man, you should definitely go for it. I wouldn't come up to her and confess you've had a crush on her for four years though. If you see her every day, talk to her about everyday things. Something a teacher said or did or perhaps some aspect or project the class is working on for example. Once you start a conversation about something common and low-key, ask her questions like.."so what got you interested in...or why did you decide to take such and such classes. Now that it is your last year, talk to her about what she's thinking of doing in college. Don't think about being in a relationship with her from th ebeginning and BELIEVE me, I know that's tough not to do. Get to know her friends because doing so will let the girl know more about you and perhaps even grow more comfortable with you around. Most importantly, don't go into this expecting failure or wondrous success. Because, as I've often said of myself, you can only do so much with affairs of the heart. People need to meet each other half way or 60/40 or whatever,. The poin is, you cannot make her like you but you can be yourself and try. Hope it all works out. ~Mark
  3. DiscipleOfChange
    actually, to me it makes sense that you're attracted to those types of girls. Im no psychologist but it may be that you seek a girl whose outgoing nature will balance out your shyness. Talk about common things like classwork or things going on in school. Dress well but not preppy. and hygeine is not just a plus, it is a must no matter what age you are ~Mark
  4. DiscipleOfChange
    As far as how someone can say that they are in love? Well I suppose that you just "know" I dont think you can say that you "love" someone until youve spent time getting to know them one on one. At first, there is just interest or infatuation. Love is developed after time. ~Mark
  5. DiscipleOfChange
    Overthinking things can bog you down. Don't kiss her if you're not ready to. Let the relationship develop at its own pace and don't puch it because that might be bad. Give her some roses unexpected perhaps. Tell her that you're new to this kind of thing. There's no playbook for these matters of the heart. if you and she both like each other more than friends and know this, than that's all you need. Things will happen in time. ~Mark
  6. DiscipleOfChange
    Hmm, I an empathize with you because I know I would probably feel the same if this happened to me when I get my first girlfriend and we kiss. I think though that your belief that she would never kiss another is asking a little too much. If it weren't truth or dare, I might feel otherwise but in this case, I feel that she didn't do it maliciously. I wouldn't cast her aside or anything. It is good you told her how you felt and You should give her a chance. ~Mark
  7. DiscipleOfChange
    My understanding from what I've hear and seen is that there are highs ad lows in all relationships. As you get to know a person better and spend more time with them, you begin to notice things you didn't see when you were first drawn to that person. Nobody is perfect and although people may go through a period in their relationships where they love each other to death, each of has our unique traits which can prove to be bothersome. The key is making sure you really feel something for the person you get into a relationship and understand that being in a relationship means accepting a person for all they are, with all their perks and all their flaws. ~Mark
  8. DiscipleOfChange
    Let me start by saying that I am 19 and have only danced with a girl once. I would like to go to more dances and get more comfortable dancing with girls but my problem is that I don't know how to dance really and I feel kind of awkward about the idea of getting close with someone I don't know at a dance. I know dances aren't supposed to have strings attached but I see a slow dance as a kind of intimate thing. I suppose all my skills with women woll develop as I take baby steps. I am quite comfortable now talking with girls on a normal, friendly conversational basis. But, nothing has developed beyond that so I still only have pointers people have given me about asking girls for coffe and that stuff. Any ideas about how I can approach the dancing issue with greater ease?
  9. DiscipleOfChange
    Yes, I agree, the sonner he understands she doesnt feel the same and accepts that truth, the sooner he can move on and be happy. It may be tough for him to hear ad it may be awkward for him just being friends for a while since he will have just gotten over liking her. Telling him about the girls feelings for the brother may or may not be a good idea. the truth does hurt and since he's the guys brother, it could cause some strife but the decision is yours
  10. DiscipleOfChange
    I think that your parents are just having a tough time warming up to you and your girlfriends relationship. A lot of times, parents are not accepting at first when they realise their child is in a relationship with a member of the same sex. Oftentimes, all it takes is a sincere, heartfelt talk between you and your parents although it may take a bit of time, possibly a long time before they accept your girlfriend and the feelings you have for each other. Especially at 17, parents can be or seem very controlling. A lot of it has to do with the growing up and away from home part of life. I'd reccomend sitting down with your parents....I'm not so sure about involving your girlfriend and her parents....maybe that would be good too....and telling your folks straight out about your feelings for this girl. Let them know that you'd like them to be more understanding. Hopefully, that will help make things better or at least get them started in that direction. take care ~Mark
  11. DiscipleOfChange
    yeah, Don't get all your hopes up but I'd see if she's still interested. If not, don't make it a biggie. Sometimes, things work out other times they dont.
  12. DiscipleOfChange
    I already know that asking a girl for a cup of coffee is a good idea once I've talked with her a little in class. What I'm curious about is, when is the right time to ask her to dinner. A note: There's a really good affordable and comfortable Mexican place 7 minutes from campus and that's where I'd take her. This is a hypothetical situation by the way. I suppose that "I will know when the right time is" but, after we've had coffee a couple of times and maybe eaten dinner together in the dining hall, that might be a good time to pop the dinner question right?
  13. DiscipleOfChange
    Not worrying about is the first thing you need to do. Because if you do worry about it, even just alittle bit while saying you arent really worrying about it, it will show through. Don't set finite goals like planning on having a gf by such and such a date. Be prepared for the possibility that it might not happen for you this year, or next year, or not until college. Becuase, it sometimes works out that way and the harder you try, the harder it is. Confidence in yourself is key. Never chat girls up with the intent of eventually being in a relationship. Be sure you keep it strictly "getting to know you better" Talk about things you have in common, talk to girls who are in your classes...about stuff that happened in class or if they plan on continuing with the subject material later in their educational careers. Ask to work on projects together. It is not easy. At least for many of us. and when you really think about it, would it be satisfying if it just happened and fell in your lap. I wouldn't know because I'm 19 and still single and havent kissed a girl or been on date but I KNOW that when it finally happens for me and I meet that special girl, I will be glad it didnt just magically happen (although it might happen like that LOL) Take care, be yourself and be cool (not in the high school stereotype of cool, but you know, cool.....) peace ~Mark
  14. DiscipleOfChange
    the thing is, the sleeping with them part, at least in a relationship I would see myself in, wouldn't happen for a while. And I'm for letting them know how much I love them and how beautiful she is. All I'm saying is that I hope (and from the replies I've found out) that my attitude is a good one. I don't mean to say that I would never be passionate. Sure I would. But every time we get together or sit next to one another, shouldn't have to lead to kissing or something more.
  15. DiscipleOfChange
    Sounds pretty good man, although about length of conversation on the phone, if she's talking don't cut it short at 5 minutes. I'm not so sure about concentrating on speaking in a deep voice though. Speak as you normally would. Asking to hang out (i'd reccomend coffe or something) is a good idea. Questions are good. Don't ask too many but rather try to ask a combination of questions that ask new things and follow up questions. In general man, it sounds real good. Good luck ~Mark
  16. DiscipleOfChange
    hey man, it sounds like she's interested. I mean, she didn't turn cold or anything nor say she didn't feel the same. Laughter is always a good sign. I'd say the future looks bright. Hope it all works out for you. ~Mark I think that letting her know wasn't a bad decision. The whole to tell or not to tell or how to let her know period is a real complicated issue and different people will tell you different things.
  17. DiscipleOfChange
    It sounds like he's being pretty legit about his feelings and it doesnt sound like what you said on the phone could have scared him off. I mean, you were up front and let him know how you felt about people returning calls as promised. ( A totally reasonable request I might add). So, I wouldnt worry for now. Sometimes, guys forget to call. (id like to think I never would) I don't think he meant not to call you. Maybe he just really had a crazy week ~Mark
  18. DiscipleOfChange
    yeah man, I wouldn't worry. I mean, even when you are in a relationship, you can acknoledge someone other than your significant other as being attractive. It doesn't mean she's not totally into you.
  19. DiscipleOfChange
    I just want to ask the women out there if this outlook on what I envision a relationship would be like is overromanticized or corny. I've always thought that I would like a girlfriend not so that I can show her off to my friends and family, not to have sex with, not even to kiss all the time non stop. I just eant someone to spend time with on a one on one asis and someone to hold. More tha anything else, sometimes I just think about how nice it would be to have someone to cuddle up with. And just that, just holding someone close. I may have this notion because I've been single all my life but I just think that would be such a nice thing, to have someone to hold. Anyways, ladies, I wanted to know what you thought of that attiude/idea. ~Mark
  20. DiscipleOfChange
    here's the thing. She's your Mom. Occasionally, I feel that way about my mom. It is just ther nature. I'm sure everyone else out there has a Mom story. Mothers are just very protective and sometimes that is perceived as or actually is intrusive although that may not be their intent. But you are 19 so hopefully it isnt as bad as it would be if you were younger. ~Mark
  21. DiscipleOfChange
    I like what you have to say. Good stuff. It is important not to regret things and live in the now. However, a lot of the time taking the leap to truly living by those standards is tough. As uncomfortable as it may be to live with regret or in the past, living that way may offer ore security to people who are not yet ready to make such a leap
  22. DiscipleOfChange
    I would like to say that all your help has been really encourahing. Thanks very much. It is unfortunate how experience is portrayed as really important in the media but it is nice to know that there are lots of people out there who know otherwise "Cause personally i have never held a girls hand in a loving way or been in a relationship and im 18 so that might be a lil bad.So it makes me happy that i can still maybe be good at things in a relationship even if i havent done them" My sentiments exactly. ~Mark
  23. DiscipleOfChange
    I'm told that asking girls for a coffe at a local coffe house is always a good idea, other people are around but keep to themselves so it provides the comfort of a social environment with the added benefit of allowing you two to talk. Another idea may be to ask her to lunch at a local cafe/cheap place, one known by and frequented by other kids is a good idea. Don't announce it as a date, rather casually bring up the proposal of lunch or coffe. One thing you can do if you do the coffee route is offer to pay for her, that would be an act of chivalry which if executed properly could win you points.
  24. DiscipleOfChange
    well, alcohol can make people do things they ordinarily wouldn't because it lowers inhibitions. This could mean that she liked you but felt really shy about it and the alcohol allowed her to feel more at ease kissing you or it could mean that it was more the alcohol that made her kiss you than her feelings. I don't know man, tread softly..
  25. DiscipleOfChange
    I'd have to say that 12 is a bit young, even moreso considering the age gap
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