DiscipleOfChange

I know that everyone has a first time for anything and everything. And I've read some other posts related to this issue. Basically, I'm 19 and a half, still a virgin and totally cool with that. I would never dream of having a one night stand. I have never kissed a girl and think parly because I may over romanticize what that first kiss will be like. I used to think I would have my first kiss with a girl who was having her first kis..with me..I've grown out of that sort of but here's the thing. I've heard driffent opinions from a lot of people. I've heard that it is important to get experience with women now while Im in college so that I know how to do things right when I get out. Im not going to race out to find a girl to sleep with, but ..and I'm interested in girls' opinions here..what's your take on the value of experience. I know it is important. I just dont want to rush out there just to gain experience. Although on the same note, I do want to know some stuff before I graduate in 3 years time.

I wouldn't think of having a one night stand. I feel that sex should be something you save until a certain point in a relationship. I'm a virgin and well, I want my first time to be with someone I've been with for a while and gotten to know really well. I don't disrespect those who approve of one night stands but, I just wouldn't do it

Let me begin by saying that I am no wooer of women and I too am trying to navigate the "conversational world".. Here's the deal, since you're in high school, talk to girls before class starts and as it is ending. Always try to break the ice with something easy and common (keeping in mind that you're just having a conversation, not trying to court her) talk about something the teacher said or did in class, the subject material, something easy to get a conversation started. If it is a class where group work is done outside of class or it is an english class where peer review is encouraged, try that route. Once you get comfortable talking about common ground stuff (and it helps a whole lot to think about that stuff alone, planning ahead while trying to talk about common stuff will most likely not lbe a good thing. Talk with girls at lunch. At first, listen to what people are talking about. asking too many questions right off the start can be offputting, but do ask casual questions about interests, ask follow up questions to things they say, make them sincere follow up questions and listen CLOSELY. In later conversations, bring up stuff they told you before. I'm told that girls appreciate that because it shows you've been listening. Here's the thing, there isn't a playbook for this stuff, some people are (here's a term I just though of)..Natural Born Ladykillers and there are guys who are really smotth talkers, but there are also tons of people who have a hard time of it. And about trying to get a girl, trying won't make it any easier, however, actively NOT trying wont do you any good either. Be casual and cool about it and hey, maybe you wont get a girl in High School, trust me, Prom, though it may be a once in a lifetime experience, isn't something to get worked up over. I didnt go and I hear from a lot of people that did go that it wasn't the absolute best thing they've ever done in the entire lives. If there's a local coffe house where lots of kids hang out, that too may be a good place to talk casually. Basically, Stay cool, start conversations about comfortable common things and listen to what they say. hope my lengthy and somewhat rambly advice helps ~Mark

there is something really strange about that first week or first few weeks. People fall in and out of love like crazy. I applaud you'r approach to realtionships and I feel that the hooking up quick way of going about it is, well, shallow. meaningful relationships, I feel take time. this is probably one reason why I've never been in a relationship. Don't try to hook up with a girl to "measure up" to the other guys. If you're slow and sincere, you're bound to meet women who appreciate that sort of thing

personality may be your best aid dude. While I am one to argue the (albeit initial) importnace of looks, the guys who are only as deep as their looks (so I'm told) aren't as interesting to women as the guys who can charm, be good conversationalists and listen intently.

there's a famous scene from a movie called "when Harry Met Sally"

hypothetical situation. after a week or so back on campus, casually chatting with girls in my classes, if I notice one Id like to hang out with and get to know a bit better, is asking her for a coffe a good idea? The premise I know should be something simple like talking about class or something common. what do you all think?

Here's the short and quick version. I'm going into my sophmore year at college. Last year, I kind of annoyed some people in my dorm. I am intent on turning over a new leaf in the fall. I know it will be hard and I'll have the past haunting me somewhat but do you think if I stick to my goals, I can meet with success? I've lost weight over the summer, a noticeable ammount and feel better about myself. What are your opinions?

Thanks for all the replies. I understand that what I have to do is pursue my interests and "play it cool" so sto speak. What I worry about doing is taking that to the extent that my head is in the sand. I'm not saying I want a girl to make the first move, but I think I wouldn't know if a girl liked me unless someone walked up and popped me in head with a big sign. I guess my question is, if I do my own thing and join clubs that interest me and what not, will things really come that easily? A person I knew put this question to me: Would I rather have 100 female friends or one girlfriend? That's kind of an ultimatum and obviously I like have female friends but I'm still in search of that middle ground between having my head in the sand and trying to be in a relationship

i personally don't like completely shaved. I'm a fan of anywhere between a little strip or tuft to a trimmed area. There's nothing wrong with completely natural either

I'm a 19 year old guy and I've never been on a date, kissed a girl, been in a relationship..whatever..I just wanted to know if there were any girls who at 19, have never been on a date, kissed a guy either. Its kind of weird but for some reason, I tend to think that I'd like my first kiss to be with someone else who's first kiss it is also. Is this unrealistic?

Dude, I'm 19 and am in the same boat. and there are a lot of guys out there like us. Just take alook around this site. Just think of it this way, when you do have your first..whatever...it'll be that more special. if you wanna talk about anything more on this issue, IM me at AneasFromMcLean

Hey man, don't let it get you down, I'm 19 and I too have never been on a date, kissed a girl, had a REAL slow dance with a girl or even known a girl who actually felt something like love for me. I'm 5' 4" havent grown much in 2 years so I dont even know if I will get taller. And I think all the time about my first...whatever...I think my problem may be I think of it as a one and only kind of thing. I'm just glad that from reading this post, there are lots of guys in our situation. It is good that we're supporting each other

Well, for me, here are some things. I'm attracted to girls who have their own "style" and don't fit any cliche. I also like when girls show attention rather than play hard to get. By recognizing me, if a girl were interested in me, it would be a clearer sign to me than anything else. I think that acting interested in spending time with the guy, doing all sorts of things whether its just hanging out or asking for help on something. I like to feel that I'm helping out. Looks are important too, but not dramatically. I don't go for girls who wear alot of makeup and try really hard to get noticed. That's what I think and what I look for in a girl, but I've never been in a relationship and as far as I know, no girl has ever "liked" me like that so I might not be the best source of info. Hope it works out though ~Mark

I'm a 19 year old male and I've never been in a relationship. In fact, I don't think a girl has ever even been attracted to me. I know it is foolish to think there's something wrong with me and to try deperately to be in a relationship wont get me anywhere, but what can I do? How can I approach women and meet someone I can be happy with? Are there many people in my situation?