Kwothe28

If you see that the person gets rid of their friends on the whim, even says that they will get rid of their parents if they can, really dont be surprised when they get rid of you after you bore them. I am not saying that you are a boring person, just that she is that kind of person. Also, have you thought that you have a "type"? Meaning that you get attached to the beautiful narcissistic type of girls where you bend over backwards for them? I mean from this here you could have just run to the hills because that screams commitment issues. Also, one of the narcissists strongest treats. Anyway, this was bound to happen at the end, so just leave her alone. But I am saying that maybe you should think about to what type of girls you get attached. And change that and avoid that type like a plague. Dating is in many ways a system of trials and errors. If we see that somehing goes wrong we learn from it and dont make the same mistakes next time. But you keep repeating them from some reason. You would have to learn. So you could avoid "banging your head against the wall" every time you meet somebody like that and get attached. Take your time and maybe think about your choices before you start dating again.

I think scheduling one session and just talking to somebody wouldnt hurt. At the end of the day licensed therapist would give you their professional opinion and you can put yours and hers mind at ease. Maybe its nothing, maybe you do need therapy, but you talking to professional isnt going to hurt you at all. Who knows, maybe you even discover more about yourself there. However, I do not like her threatening to leave if you dont do that. That is emotional manipulation and you should be aware of that. Her intentions are maybe good, but its still manipulation. But bottom line is, you do it for yourself. Her, if she wants to leave you, she will leave you even after therapy. But your growth is yours to take. So, just go talk and see if you do or dont need further counseling.

Ah, as I thought. Look, good heart or not, your friendship to some people is only worth in how much you can do for them. The minute its not exactly how they pictured it, its over, no mater how much you were there for them before. Your case is easily excusable. You even offered to cancel your plans for her if its that important and she herself said no. But hey, you wanted to cancel in the first place so that means you dont care for her. Its just how her brain works, it has nothing to do with you. Beware of that kind of people. And as I said, fully expect that you probably need her for something

I would be way more worried about this and why you even allowed somebody like that back. Not really a good person at all. He holds a firm grip on you and you allow him that by constantly excusing him by saying how he only has "trust issues" and stuff like that. No, he is an abusive Ahole. You need to deal with that and get out from there fast. Also, cancer is a serious ilness in any form. Depending on form it may only take days when your friend is no longer with us. So if you want to reach out and be there for him, just do that and dont mind the idiot bf at all.

"I am just coasting" guy from the last thread? I am sorry but he sounds like a troublesome individual. That trully does need a good therapy. You say that he has only come for sex so he might go back if he wants that again. But I wouldnt count on anything emotional from that guy. Stop the contact. You need to forget and move on, you will never do that by constantly continuing to contact him hoping that something will change. Also, people who want friendship dont block you on everything. So again, cut all that and try to accept its over.

Let me guess: She couldnt count on you because she asked something and you didnt do it so she stopped friendship? Go see her. However, be well aware that the kind of people who would stop friendship because of some stupid thing you couldnt do for them, probably dont want your friendship because of you, but because of something you can do for them. So the nature of that meeting is that she probably needs something from you. Not because she is suddenly sorry for ignoring you for two years. So I wouldnt expect some kind of apology or anything in the line of that.

I dunno, maybe I am not a girl, or overtly jealous person or somebody who dealt with possession a lot(did have one try to forbid me to see my female best friend because jealousy) but just cant see how "wow you look so amazing that I would have to fight other guys for you" is an entry level to some possessive obsessed jerk who, in a few months, would forbid her to go out unless she changes her clothes. Is it a bit heavy handed for start of relationship and maybe crossing "love bombing" side? Yes. Could it be worded better and that he, I dunno, just praised the dress she wore or maybe just particular attribute of hers? Sure. But at the end its just a compliment. Now would I be inclined to believe OP when she says he is a jealous person? Sure. And I think that she should be careful there. But her example doesnt really show that side of his.

That is not jealousy, that is just a compliment. Bit cringy one but still a compliment. Jealousy would be if he said "Dont wear that mini skirt, other guys would watch" or "Block that guy on social network, I dont like him". Or even something more benign like "I dont like how that guy was looking for you/you looking that guy". Now "love bombing" may be considered a red flag, but still dont see that he tells you how he would, I dunno, marry you or something along those lines. This is more in lines of standard compliment stuff.

Does boyfriend knows about the other guy? Sounds like you broke up but still see both of them. Other guy surely knows about bf, but not sure bf would be thrilled to know about cheating Anyway, its time for story: A while ago I introduced my college roomate with my college friend. They were both in the relationships(she had 3 or 4 year one at the moment, he had few months one as I remember) but they were friends through me. Anyway, in time they ended up hitting it off and started an affair. He broke things off with his girl but she stayed in a relationship. After a while even she broke things off with her boyfriend and decides to give it a try. So they ended up dating for about a month. Until they realized they are not for each other and that they can never be together and how it was just exciting because, hey, thrills. So she gets back to her boyfriend and they just continue having sex. That lasted for a few years I think. She married her long-time boyfriend(the one she cheated all the time btw) and has 2 kids with him. Even though Ive heard from her the same story I hear from you, how he doesnt care, how sex is lame and he doesnt last as long etc. I still laugh to this day at her Facebook posts how that is some big love. They even do that cringy thing where they dress up in their marriage attire every year and make pictures. Reminds me on one thing Ive heard from one women: The kind of marriages that post on social networks about love all the time are the ones where most cheating happens. Anyway, reminded me on your case because it is similar. And how I think its just thrills. Otherwise you would give the other one a chance and see if it can work at least. Btw great guy, he will surely not cheat on you when he sees that its not as exciting as before when you cheated. Bit of irony, dont mind me.

I would maybe ask something unusual but you mentioned nationality so... Is it a green card marriage? I dont mean like arranged, but did you brought her to your country to work or just to be housewife? Because, if it is, it would explain sudden disinterest in sex or any affection, somehow coincidently right after the marriage came through.

From your first message you didnt seem that much enthusiastic about it. She asked about the festival thing and you said "Eh, maybe". She doesnt read thoughts, if you are interested you would have to show it. For example you could thank her for that coffee she made you by taking her out for dinner or something like that. Without her friend.

Doesnt mean a thing. He might as well be missing the idea of two of you in the relationship, not you in particular. To clarify that doesnt mean there is something wrong with you or that he didnt had some nice times with you so he reminescence it with fond memories. Just that, he doesnt love you. He said that as much during break up so believe his words. You are seeking an excuse for him. How its maybe due to his "difficult upbringing", how maybe he doesnt know what love is, how he regreted it. But ultimately that is all there is, just you excusing his behavior to fit you narrative. At the end he did leave you and said that he doesnt love you. If he doesnt actively seeking to get back together and showing you that he loves you, doesnt mean a thing. "Its been hard and I miss you" is normal feeling after a relationship, doesnt mean they want to get back together or that anything is changed in meantime.

Its often like that with young couples, you both are probably inexperienced, you start to wonder what else is out there, if you would be better with somebody else etc. She is young so she cant maybe express her thoughts better, but yes, if she said that she feels its wrong, its not only her intuition, she is actively seeking the window of opportunity to leave. In the situations like that there is very little you can do. Dont put too much pressure and act normally, but be warry that she is looking to leave any time now I would be more worried about this I know its hard and that you are not feeling this way, but ultimately, she is just one girl. Even if she leaves, you are very young, there will be another. There is no need for any girl to make you in that way, its not healthy. The last thing you need is to end up sick because of somebody. Dont think about it and focus on something else. If your thought drift that way, change them to something else, anything else.

Well. she was interested(showing interest and touching are a clear signs of that), but you didnt show up too much interest and she backed off. Sometimes its more about catching the right timing then anything else. Now its questionable but take her up on her offer to go out and see what comes out of it.

Yes, I also text "work friends" to meet me by the toilets lol There is no trust there, he even didnt let you look at the messages(wonder why lol). So no wonder you are full of distrust. Bad news is, it turns you into obsessive wife. Its no way to live, you either trust him or not, you obviously dont. If you want evidence, hire PI, pretty sure they will bring you bunch. If they dont, at least you know that you can trust him. But obsessively checking out when he and his supposed lover are online is no way to do it and not good for your mental health. You should have cut that through before the wedding and not go into marriage full of mistrust.

Sounds like emotional blackmail and manipulation. When they use "If you love me you will do X", that is emotional manipulation. That means that you should be very warry about him. And that your therapist is right. Those kind of people will stop at nothing to get what they want. Even maybe trying to make you that baby on purpose. So for our own sake you should maybe leave. Its not in your plans to have that baby now and he wants it at any cost. Plus would you really want a child with somebody like that who is willing to stoop to that levels to get what he wants?

Are you annoyed that they are maybe bi and that you are traded for the guy? You were FWB, sorry but, if you are annoyed maybe he was right about you getting too attached in that relationship. Or is it just hitting your ego? Anyway, as much as it is uncomfortable, its their deal. You need to look for yourself. Meaning to focus on finding your own guy.

Emotional numbness is somewhat normal after major loss. Not everybody process grief the same way. It all happened suddenly and you are overwhelmed and need a time too process things. After things settle you will probably process it better and with emotions. If you have difficulty after certain time, yes, grief counseling helps. You are maybe worried its because you were estranged, dont. Again, not everybody process grief in the same way and should be fine. She was your sister, it should come to you naturally in time. Its all maybe too much right now so that is why you just dont feel it. Sometimes it takes time to accept those things.

Hm, I wonder what the guy she met at that wedding looks like. Because every time I heard somebody said the last sentence within a week they were with somebody. Either that or family filled her head because she does put them a lot there. Anyway, she seems full of it, sorry. Lots of issues, blames you and just left. Consider it over because that one wont be coming back. "This isnt goodbye" is just a phrase for her to get out, doesnt mean anything. Block her at everything including Snapchat and move on in time. There is no reconciliation here and you begging her wont do anything, it will just set you back. Also, why didnt you go with her at wedding? Seems strange when you lived together.

As a prerequisite, no. Dating isnt solely about children, its about finding the person that suits your needs. Your needs may be just physical nature, or just to find anybody, or to find a soulmate, or just to find somebody to make you kids. Different people have different desires. But if you want to talk serious dating, yes, lots, maybe even most of people, would have a serious desire for kids if they are not accomplished in that way. You can maybe even look at it from biological standpoint, and that its about human nature to procreate. We as a species have come that far so that our copulation doesnt include just desire to procreate and create an offspring. But its still pretty much hardwired in most of people. I am an educator by profession. It was kinda prerequisite for me to like kids and like to work with them. So it comes as a natural to want at least one of my own. But I can undestand people who dont. Not everybody wants kids. And most importantly, not everybody should have them, not even some people who already have them. Its not an easy job to raise them properly, it requires a lot of work and a lot of sacrifice.

Forum has a "journal" section if you are interested in that kind of stuff

I think I already talked about this here, but few years ago, there was a time where I wasnt so happy with my life too much. I had nothing going on. I was just out of big relationship, job was so-so and inconsistent. as I was in early 30s even health started detoriating(minor issues but still issues) and friend circle was becoming smaller due to people going their own way as they should so there was less time for hanging out. I was not in the right state for anything, so much so that I passed and didnt pursue a great girl because I felt "inadequate" and that I had nothing to offer there. She got knocked up and married some bogus guy 6 months later so I still kinda regret that decision. Anyway, I decided I want change. So I started to work more about everything. Took every job opportunity I could take and invest myself more so that in time become more stable and started to earn more money, started taking care of myself more(better food, more walks or training for health, even bought myself more clothes to look nice) and even surround myself with more quality friends(before my friend circle was more big but also more inconsistent as in more aquintances then close friends) who all did care about my company. So in time I did come to the right state of the mind so I can be happy with myself and trully feel that I have a lot to offer to anyone. There is still some days were I feel "down" about some stuff, but that happens. At the end of the day, that is all it matters, that you be happy with yourself. Or even as one of my more egotistical friends would said "To feel like you ae the most important thing in the world". If you arent, yes, you will need to do the work on that.

I dunno how her nationality plays into it as she does seem more "european", but yes, if you are aluding to that, Turkish girl are a bit more on conservative side. As seen by her uncomfortness to kiss in public. So your proposition about the hotel probably didnt bode too well with her. Add to that that she seems really bothered by you not paying for dates(as she probably got used to the guys doing that) and you see the issue where she thinks that you dont want to treat her well unless sex is on the table. I am not saying that is true, just that she sees it in that way. So, her interest is fading. Good news is that she still wants to date. So, try to spark it. Cool it with physical stuff and focus more on her. Be more attentive during dates and see how she behaves. If you see that she is still cold, just break it off. There is no point in maintaining the relationship if you will just be there to take her out on stuff just because there is nobody else there to do it at the moment.

I thought Tumblr banned adult content few years ago. Its the reason that site is dead now and they all transfered to other sites like Reddit. Anyway, he did lied to you when you asked. Its not a big stuff to lie about but he still chose to lie. If you are that uncomfortable with his internet activities and that he likes pictures of some random girls and that he lies about it, then yes, you should just leave. Ignoring the problem or even straight up confessing that you spied on him would get you nothing because he wont change(and would even be mad that you spied on him) and you will still be uncomfortable there.

He does know, he just didnt want to say it. Some people are just cowards or dont want to hurt the other side feelings. Also, "No Contact" rule is not there so that your ex would miss you more. Its there so you could heal and move on from the relationship. Because "Hi, I wanted to see how you and our dog are doing." doesnt really help you to heal and is maybe sending a wrong signal. Like to you who from one email jumped to "Hey, wanna get back together?". Work on yourself and move on. Because its clear that you didnt do that.