Kwothe28

Oof, I had one. She didnt complain about places(places we did go out were usually more smaller and intimate though) but didnt like crowds nore even had any friends to go out with or even for coffee(she is married now but still doubt she has a life outside of her home). I was a very social person back then, played basketball almost daily with friends, had few crowds to hang out, party etc. She never wanted me to take her along, we always were alone walking and doing stuff on our own. Anyway, the reason I am bringing it out is, your case reminds me on her. She could be sweet and caring, and was never a problem to organize to see her, but during dates all it took is one word that she didnt like and then she would give me "silent treatments" and just nod her head and let me talk until I notice that she is mad about something and question her why. Then it would be arguing until we "kiss and make up" and until next time when more of my words would be misconstrued in the way to make her mad etc. So I would have to "walk on the eggshells" every time we were together in order for her "moods" not to kick in. Its not very pleasant and yes, it brings overall happiness down and affects you by making you feel like you are the problem for wanting to share something with her but never know if its good or not to do it. Point is, I am sorry, anxiety or not, you need somebody who would not make you feel that way. Point of dating is to be fun, to do stuff together, even to share stories you want (well if they arent innapropriate ofcourse) without the other side making you feel like s h i t for doing that. If that relationship progresses and goes, for example into living together or marriage could you imagine you talking and her getting annoyed every single day? Because that would happen as you would have to either be quiet about stuff or face her mood. Which you would probably get either way. Its not fun nore something you should aim in your relationship. Reflect on that and see if its something you want.

What does this tell you? The guy is a player. Probably has multiple of them just like you. He didnt want you to travel wih him, because, yes, he did already planned to see other girls. He never planned to be serious with you, just told you what you wanted to hear and moved on. You caught feelings, he didnt. When he saw you werent down with his "free style" where he would just travel alone even though he supposedly came to see you, he just cut away whole thing and moved to Summer(which is also you, dont know why you did that, it was really obvious without spending so much effort on deception). And frankly, its good that it happened that way, now you know that he is indeed a jerk and can move on. It would be way worst if you accepted his proposal and still kept contact.

Are you planning to wear a top or having sex on first date? If the answer on both is "no", go see that guy if he expressed desire to see you. Just exchanging messages will indeed get you nowhere. And while you are insecure about your body, I am also sure that in a few months he probably saw pics of you or even maybe talked to you over video chat. And that you have nothing to worry about regarding the looks because he probably likes you. You need to see each other so it can progress, to see how you are together, how he behaves in person etc. Just messages are nothing. So, gather your confidence, arrange a date and see how it is going in person. Good luck.

So let me get this straight: Instead of coming to see you after your birthday, to congratulate you properly, to bring present, celebrate, he was all focused on his d i c k i e being flabby and couldnt do it because of that? Or at least so he says? Yeah, I wouldnt cry too much about that guy either way. His ED might just be an excuse. No matter what happened, when somebody tries that hard to avoid you, they really, really, dont want to see you. He could just take you out on a date, no sex involved. Instead he avoided you for a month and broke up over text. And make no mistake, that is a break up. You shouldnt wait for him, you dont own him that or even anything after the way he acted, just move on. On the other hand, excessive drinking, weed, could be a reasons for a flabby d i c k i e. But he should seek help for that. Instead he even low key blamed you. To make you feel guilty, because, hey, its not like his lifestyle could be the problem but it has to be someone else. I am sorry, but yes, he is not a good partner.

The cheater guy who acts single? Yeah, its trully a mystery why somebody like that doesnt want kids to "slow him down in his fun life". Are you an Ahole for wanting kids? No. Its a natural progression of human evolutionary needs to have a desire to have children. To be cleared I am not saying that its wrong if someone doesnt, just that we are "wired" by nature in that way. And you should not be ashamed of that thoughts. If you feel that you are ready to have kids and be a mother, then you are ready. However, having it with the guy like that is not a solution. You want to have kids with him but he is even afraid to have sex with you if you are not on contraception(as if its too much for him to wear a condom, because, let me guess, he says it feels better without it) and with his fears and lifestyle, I dont think that is about to change soon. Or maybe ever. Having kids with somebody like that is a one way street to becoming single mom. So if you want to have kids, get out from there and find somebody who you can make your life together and also has the same desire.

Smart a s s? I have an aunt like that, she always has some remark to make just to prove how she knows better about stuff better then anyone else, even people who are experts on topic, and how stuff should be done in her way. It doesnt have to be a disorder, some people are just like that.

Technically speaking she just refuses to talk to you. Getting "ghosted" would be if you never heard from her again. Like this she did contacted you and she will probably contact after she cools down. Anyway, its certanly silly. I mean OK, you maybe said something to her during the second time that we are not aware, but its still silly. That birthday thing, I wouldnt tolerate at all. Her and your sis might as well be mortal enemies, but both should still be there for you. There is no excuse for that. So I would really think if its worth to be with somebody who refuses to come to her boyfriend birthday party and instead goes out somewhere else.

Justin Bieber is a popular singer. Also 7th most popular woman in the world.

Lots of people are just selfish and ungrateful and putting an effort into friendship or relationship with them is not really a good investment. Because they will never appreciate the effort you give and would think that you are just required to do that. The second you stop or even just say "No" once, they will discard you like you never existed. Also, with a lot of people, ironically, less is more. Meaning that less you are available, more they want you. They dont want somebody who is there all the time and that they can have anytime they want, it doesnt represent any challenge to them. So you have to "be there but simultaniously not be there" somehow in order to present yourself in that way for them. So if you "overinvest", just stop doing that. Its fine to reach out, but if you see that they dont reciprocitate, dont do that anymore. Dont be afraid to discard people who dont appreciate you or your company. Always remember that your time is also precious and that you shouldnt waste it on people who only want it if something else is not going on. That way you will make room for people who will maybe consider you "first choice".

I can tell you that all you experienced is very standard for cheating. Promises of change, seemingly getting their act together while continuing to do the same, getting caught again and then gaslight and transfering the blame to other side, all standard cheaters stuff. I am sorry that happened, especially sorry about the doggo being sad too. But your friends and family are right, good ridance. You could have spend more time with somebody who would lie to you, going on trips and cheat on you there with multiple men, and then blame you that she is feeling unloved. While she would pretend everything is fine. Like this, in time you will move on and find somebody who isnt gona do stuff like that and really love you. Its not your fault that she is like that, its hers, dont blame yourself for it. Its not easy and still fresh so ofcourse it hurts. But eventually you will work your way toward accpetance and moving on. Take care.

People like that, you ex gf and your friend, they have no shame. Their relationship is not going because, well, they are both ***ty people for what they have done. I think they use the term "toxic" today, but I dont like the label because they brand everything "toxic" now. And that kind of people maybe recognize themself in one another thus seeing some kind of "chenistry", but in a reality they create a very disfunctional pairings. Because, surprise surprise, ***ty people dont really make up a good partners, especially to other ***ty people. I have an aquintance. He stole his best friend long term girlfriend, married her and had a kid with her. At the end she left him for some third guy along with the kid. You didnt curse them, they did it themselves. As for you, I would focus on the fact that they really were bad people. And that you are far better without both of them in your life. It should help you to come into acceptance with the break up.

I dunno. His reasons for breaking up are BS(though he is maybe on Brumble now just for sex) but the real reason could be anything. Your behavior where you literally run over to his place after he didnt answer the message is borderline stalkerish. Dont do that because, yes it can and will for a good reason frighten the other side. But you say he was pulling out a week later when he got out with friends so it could be that he just met somebody then. Anyway, its kinda pointless to kinda pinpoint exactly the right reason because most of them are BS just to get away. What you do know is that he wanted that out so respect that. You are fairly young, you will deal with this and move on to find somebody else. But work on yourself and your issues because as you see, they create a problems when it comes to relationships.

This When we were young it usually worked for crushes like that. You see some girl you like but maybe dont know her at all, approach, talk, ask for phone maybe etc. If she says "No" it breaks up that illusion and pining for somebody and you move on. But your response how you think you are a pig kinda says that you are not in the right mind for that. Meaning that you probably dont think a lot about yourself and that you wont approach that girl but pine over her for years. In a situations like that, yes, you should maybe talk to a therapist about it.

You've never seen your real face, only pictures and reflections. Its not really a rocket science what happened. She is "inconsistent". Meaning that what she wants changes as the wind blows. She was flacky but when you threatened to leave she tight it up. Then when you wanted more she just pulled out. That is how it is with inconsistent people. She sold you the excuse about the kids, but dont be surprised to see her in a week with another guy. But sure, hit her up in a few months, maybe her mood about you changes lol. You on the other hand, need to be better with what you want and who you want it with. If your career is the focus and you want casual, then do casual. Dont expected more and something serious but just go as the wind blows. And if you need and want relationship then dont go to inconsistent people asking for it but find somebody who wants the same.

You better because you dont want to take your trip for nothing. Also if you cant tell they are not interested, they are not interested. Especially when they become flacky about meet ups.

Oof. Run. I am fine by men/women friendships. There are even some women who better mash up with men(she is in the army so there is that also). But that sentence by itself, its such a huge red flag that it really shows her character. She couldnt turn down her guy friends because she technically doesnt have a boyfriend? What? What kind of friends she has? Does she purposely surrounds herself with people who would have sex with her when she wants to give them a chance? There is so much wrong with that sentence alone it hurts. If you cant handle to share her, dont do FWB. Its a string with no attachments, as soon as one side develops feelings, that is it. And you are entering with feelings for her and how she should be only yours. It wont work. Especially because she seem to plan for you to be just another one of her "guy friends".

You looked at her story, she saw that(I believe you can see who looked at your story) and also got curious so followed you. I wouldnt read too much into it, if she wants something she would have contacted you. And generally its not a good idea that you followed her. Now sometimes when you open IG it would be her selfie on the page. If you had hard before, wait until that happens lol. I mean OK, you got curious, just saying that you made more troubles for yourself. Also I have this wonderful property that I inherited from my family where when I get dissapointed in somebody I can never look at them the same way so will pass it onto you with some hurtful truth. She broke up with you and blocked you. Not only she doesnt want to be in a relationship with you, she didnt wanted you to even contact her to ask how she is doing or anything else. In 2 years she never even contacted you to ask about you and still isnt, its just IG following. That girl is not your girlfriend and its not your friend. She just doesnt care for you. You dont need her in your life in any way or form. So forget about her and move on with your life.

Why does it matter if it was before you two? Are you generally a jealous type so it bothers you? It was probably just a sex thing and if its still going he would have never told you but hide it from you. So, let that jealous thoughts go. However, not cool of him mentioning sex details. Its a "locker room" talk, like when boys get together and talk about sexual conquests thing. Its not something that you should really tell your girlfriend about. So I would beware of that.

Well he is engaged to be married now so there is that. Just saying that you put very broad generalization there. That doesnt really hold in reality.

I think its OK to express your emotions at least in some way. For what you are talking you would either had to be emotionally detached or like a sponge. Both would create problems in the long run because you would either be a very cold person or in a case of a "sponge" after too much water you would start to leak or in a case of emotions you would snap. You need to be in control of your emotions. Both deflecting and soaking them would lead to bad consequences. Now, as relationship goes, in a general sense, maybe. But you are still talking about extremes. "Emotional" as "he would cry for every little thing" is probably not a turn on for any female. You seem to think that it would be a lot easier if males would apply logic and that instead of crying about breaking up/rejection they just soak it up, say "Whatever" and move on. Would it be easier? Sure. But they are still human beings with problems. That is why they come here, to get help because they cant just "soak it up". It doesnt even have anything to do with attracting females. I know a guy that is very successful in that part. But is still "a baby" as far as emotions goes. Easily startled, gets into self loathing sometimes, cries. But has his way with ladies. There are way too many factors involved there then just "emotions".

You have a fear of rejection. You are not acting on your crush not because of her family issues or her metaphorical leaving of the country, but because of your fear. Anything else is just a convenient excuse. I am not saying because of her(even her would maybe need some love right now even though she has a lot of issues), but for some future girl you will maybe come in contact with. And that you need to work on that and overcome it. Because it will create you problems in the future. You need to realize that rejection is nothing special. And that its much better to go there and be rejected then to spend months(or in your case years) not knowing where you stand. Sure, it maybe hurts sometimes, but its better to know earlier and move on. As for her, she needs a friend. That is why she contacted you. You dont call "boyfriend material" to cry on him how your life is miserable. You call a friend for that. So I think she sees you in that way, not in a boyfriend/girlfriend way. And if you cant accept that, then its better to cut contact. For your own sake.

There is usually a period in a relationship(up to a 6 months) where passion and feelings are very intense. That is where you "fall" for other person so hard that sometimes you cant even see or ignore their flaws. After that period it becomes more realistic in a way that you are seeing flaws and other stuff but usually, those feelings are still there. I bring this up because you and your partner seem to spend that period with him having feelings for his ex and not you. And after that period he "settled" with you. Meaning that he maybe cares for you and wants to move forward. But those "intense feelings" other feel in those first months were never there for him. So its no wonder he cant say "I love you" when he simply doesnt feel it and he maybe never will. I am sorry, but if that is the important part for you(and it seems like it is) I am afraid you are not going to get it from that guy.

Look, some girls, they are just looking for attention. You are there to entertain her, send her a good morning text, tell her how pretty she is etc. That maybe she doesnt get from some others or even at all. But as far as actual meetings goes, they become flacky. It always have to be under their conditions because they need to set rules and be in control. That is why she didnt answer your calls because then she would have to follow through and actually do it or blow you off. Like this she can do whatever she wants and just call whenever she wants with some excuse and to keep you there. Because she doesnt consider you as anything else but her source of entertainment, her fool. Even if you were awake its questionable if she would come, she just wants you there but will not follow through with anything. She only gives you breadcrumbs so you would stay there, but trust me, doesnt plan anything with you. Sorry, some people are just like that. I think you did good by going out with friends and not wait at home. Even with accidently falling asleep because it does show her that you are not up for her games. You can contact her, or she would probably contact you if she see that you are moving away from her. But I would think long and hard whether somebody like that is worth of your trouble.

Oof. Sorry to hear that, that sounds rather cold. And that she really didnt wanted you in that way. Anyway, you tried. Never feel bad for trying, even though you did spend some money on the trip. It didnt worked out by the end, but that happens. But you did make an effort and that is what you should continue to do. In time, someone would be a match.

I dunno, its weird with dates. Sometimes when they feel that connection, you could have red flags like China and would still be "in", with very little chance to ruin it. When they dont feel that connection, you can make one mistake they dont like and you are "out". In your case you think its because of Hindu language. It might be, maybe she wants somebody with more "Indian roots". However, I would also point out that you spent 3 whole days with that woman. And never once mentioned that you "made the move". Meaning to at least try to get close to her. Or maybe even kiss her. Maybe in your culture its different. But you are both in USA. She probably expected you to make that move. The stuff you did, you can easily do with any friend. Go to dinner, sight seeing, talking, its not something for romantic relationship by itself. It may initiate one, but just doing those stuff is not one. So I think you blew it up there. But again, its hard to tell, could be anything. And leave her alone and seek further, sadly that one is gone. Once they make up their mind its hard to change that.