Kwothe28

I would also like to point out that E probably doesnt really likes you because she senses(or even knows if they talked about it) that T does like you. Or even senses that you like him. And that you maybe like him because of the lack of the better options at the moment. Meaning that situation in the world is like it is, you are spending a lot of time with somebody who gives you affection, and that you developed feelings from that. So if you dont want to move, maybe it would be a good idea to focus your attention elsewhere(meaning actively finding your own partner) and do forget about it. Because this situation wont go in your favor if it develops further and you live for at least one more year with those people.

Usually when we feel attracted to the person its not just physical look. Its the number of things you said like things in common, same lyfestyle etc. You dont have any of that aside that she is being nice and loyal. So is the puppy. If you want that, buy a puppy. But for a relationship you need somebody compatible. You see now that you arent that. Which makes me wonder why you even entered that relationship in the first place when you seem to have nothing in common.

When I was in college I had one girlfriend like that. Her dad was an alcoholic and she didnt drink. I was(and still is) a social drinker and I was very careful around her. Meaning didnt get drunk when she was around, no "drunken stories" told to her etc. I still got flack with "Why are you drinking? Do you have any problems in life?" and stuff like that. Anyway, what I am trying to say to you is that it will probably never go away. She cant control her drinks and thinks alcohol creates a problem. Unless you become anti-alcoholic, she will always nag to you no matter what your alcohol consuption is. She has a problem with that. You dont. So that will probably always be there between you. So if you want to stay in that relationship you would have to accept that.

I would say that if you really want to take him that you should. You clearly like the guy and he likes you, and his sister said he would be ecstatic for something like that. So if you are both probably down for that, why not? However, I would also like to point out that the weddings are also the couples thing. And that you are still not a couple. You said that you are still processing the break up. And you are taking him to the family wedding. Where you would possibly have to introduce him to cousins who would indeed ask around who he is. What I am trying to say is that your words dont match your actions. And that it sends the wrong message to him that you basically said that you still dont want anything serious. And now you are taking him to the wedding like you are a couple, and probably introducing him to family. And that you should maybe define all that before the wedding. Because it is a big deal.

In psychology there is this thing called "Limerence". Its similar to love but its characterized by one side very intense feelings toward another. You can also call it "infatuation" or like in your case "crush". Anyway, when those feelings dont get returned in the way one side expects, disapointment usually happens. Love is different because love takes time to build. And its way harder to break. In your case it only took one date and her innability to see you more. Which might or might not have anything to do with you. I suggest you read more about the term. Its not inherently bad, just the way some people approach love and relationships or just certain persons they meet. I also dont think its inherently bad that you dont see her as "Little Miss Perfect" anymore. It may help the thing if you are not that "attached". Good news is that she still wants to hang out with you. Bad news is that, yes, if she doesnt want to do it often she probably doesnt have that kind of feelings for you. She likes your company, but its not certain if she likes you. I mean she could just be shy. But trust me, even shy girls date regularly if they want somebody. She is a smart girl so she probably knows that you like her even though you probably never talked about it. But unfortunately she tries to create a distance there. That is never a good sign. So, keep that in mind. Keep in touch, ask for dates, that is all fine. But that needs to progress somewhere. If it doesnt, I am sorry, but you will have to abandon the idea of two of you together no matter how much it hurts.

How are you at expessing intimacy? Are you an affectionate person? Because I am assuming by "intimate" you mean "sex". And its much more then that. Its expressing yourself in such manner. That means kind words, kissing, hugging, stuff like that. Maybe you are a "colder" person in regarding to that. Some people just are. They are either uncomfortable with it or just cant express in that way. And if its like that, no wonder he doesnt feel loved. And I am afraid there is no magic that would make you in such a way, you are either affectionate like that or not. You can learn to express better, for example if you really like the guy why dont you try to tell him that or even show him in some way? Maybe invite him over and cook for him? But if you are not the person who is like that, there is nothing you can do, you are just not compatible in that way. I mean maybe he is just clingy, there is that also. But its still something that cant be worked around if you are that different regarding intimacy. Also, you are both very bad at communicating. Talking about stuff that happened to you is just fine. But if you want deeper conversations why not just talk about other stuff? Dont you want to know where he stands on certain issues? Overall and even regarding the relationship? Even maybe more light stuff like regarding music, movies etc. It would help both of you to see if you are for each other or not. Not every conversation should just be recap what happened to both of you until you saw each other.

I took a time to read everything, dont think he even met the other girl. Which kinda makes it strange since they were so good friends that he confined to her. And he never took time to confirm identity. Especially because he seems paranoid. So that is maybe a plot hole lol I agree with others, he is very, very unstable individual. You focused on good stuff but ignored so much red flags there. Ex-wife is just mentioned but seems important. Him knowing about your boyfriend and asking specifically means he took a close look at your socials. Very close look. His behavior is that he jumps from casual to casual, he never even intended to introduce you to parents because of how you dress lol. Him mentioning treesome about the girl he doesnt even know does seem like a plothole but its certanly a red flag. And finally all that paranoia. People who dont have nothing to hide dont act in that way. Because they are certain that they are clean. People who have secrets are like that. Secretive, always have something going on to them, always think somebody is working behind their back to get them etc. Add that you find about two of his "casual" cases and that they both seem psychos as well(they usually attract each other). And accept that you were dealing with a very unstable individual that you choose to ignore until his paranoia got him to accuse you of something so strange. You are far better by not dealing with that guy. So thank to God that he left you alone and move on.

Damn, managed to be prophetic but missed what the argument will be about. Again, you are letting him abuse you in that way. Stop talking to that guy. You do realize that he can come to your social events and that you dont have to talk to him? Especially you dont have to talk to him about heavy stuff. Just say "Hi" and dont engage into any conversations with him.

This is not about the ice cream. It only trigerred that reaction to him. He said that you are becoming a nuisance. After 3 months of living together(as I understand) he wants a time off and a break up and thinks you cant live together. That all is not ice cream related, ice cream is just a trigger. The real reason is who knows what. Maybe you are difficult to live with(making him run to the store for ice cream every day does sound like a nuisance, sorry), maybe its him and maybe he used to live alone so the other person there just "doesnt feel right", but its something that bothers him. So I suggest you talk about it and see what it is. Because it sure isnt ice cream.

Never feel guilty for trying. You had the best intentions and acted on them, its the other side fault that it fell through. Sure you invested some time(and money, but that is your fault) but at least you tried and now know what kind of person she is. What is your fault is assuming interest. From the girl that ghosted you. If she cared about you and your feelings at all, she woud have never done that. Also she had no real intention of actually meeting you. As soon as it became obvious that she would have to meet you, she found some local chump and avoided it again. I wouldnt even believe the timeframe, she just told you about him because she couldnt avoid meeting you anymore. She was fine with distant attention. She never probably intended to meet you in real life. In 3 months she could if she wanted but she never did. Ask yourself why. Was it because she was busy or because she didnt wanted it? In a situation like that, you should have never assumed that much interest from her. And never book that trip before you officially get back together. All of that is on you. What is on her is for leading you on. She contacted you because she knew you would give her that attention. Even after ghosting you. She knew what buttons to push to get what she wants. Even her answers after she told you she has someone I find ridiculous. She expects you to care about her hapiness after she lead you on for 3 months. And to still stay in touch to give her more attention(though that may just be courtesy). Its very clear that she doesnt care how you feel and has no empathy regarding it. Just how it affects her. She probably even thinks she did nothing wrong here. And that its her God given right to do whatever she wants because she feels like it. Just like she had the right to ghost you because "she was going through tough times". Be aware that persons like that exist. And question more when their words dont match their actions. Always trust actions more then words. That is who they are and where they show us that. She showed you that she doesnt care about you. So you shouldnt care about her at all. Dont be like her, be better. Say that you dont want to be friends and that you dont want to waste anymore of your time on her and that you will block her. And then just do it and dont look back.

I wouldnt say delusional, just confused. He never wanted to date you for real, he was fine with hooking up every now and then and still is. Translation for "I had some other girl in the meantime and now I want to hope back in" If you are fine with just casually hooking up with that guy, sure. But you will never get more from him. As soon as you wanted more, he bailed. Dont expect for him not to do that again. You think he would give you a chance but he literally ghosted you. Why do you believe he will give you anything serious now? Because he remembered you exist? Sorry, but no, that is not how it works. If you are trying for anything serious, dont take that guy back. Because it will only stop you in pursuing anything of substance with somebody else and it will mess you up even further. While he would still casually leave and come back from time to time when he has nothing else on the menu.

I meant "available" for the date, not "available" if he has somebody now or not. My bad for not being more precise there. And yes she should have precise time and place or even activity for that.

Do you want him back or just to leave you alone? Because he doesnt want you back, he is just "playing the field" and keeping you there if eventually all else fails and he has to go back to you. Mind games where you block him and he will suddenly want you back wont help you too much. Would you even want somebody like that? If you want him to leave you alone just stop responding and block him. What happened to doctor guy?

Did you wanted him to say "Yippie" and start running around in circles from happiness? He said "OK". If he initiated to see you twice that means he is interested in at least something. If nothing changed in meantime. Ask if he is available and see by his reaction if he really wants to see you or not.

You are being inconsiderate to her. She prepared you a meal. Which you didnt even bother to take but just wanted her to get you and initiate a booty call. When she refused and said she would bring it to you in the morning you called another woman for a booty call. And then ignored her in the morning and blocked her. All that is not her fault, its yours. And she has ever right to be angry at you and demand an explanation. Dont even think apology would cut it there when its clear you dont care about her or her feelings at all. So just leave the poor girl alone.

If I would have to guess, I would say somebody "cloned" your old phone. Hence why they have info that it existed in the past including nudes, or phone numbers of your relatives. And I think it would have to be somebody close to you and somebody who knows what its doing. And if they know something your boyfriend only knows, its either him, or somebody he told. So I am sorry but all signs do point in one direction. And that he is not so innocent as he says. Because their demands are very specific and going to one direction. You breaking up with him. It can also be somebody from your past, like ex boyfriends. But if they know info that only new boyfriend knows, its probably somebody from his life or just him in some twisted game. Also, will adress elephant in the room and say that, online harassment or not, you dont seem happy there. You are feeling insecure to the point you want a "boob job". And he doesnt really help with that. Nore with what is going on even though its directly connected with him. So it might be for the best to even not play detective at all and just leave all that mess. For your own sake.

Because he liked the girls picture? Just because of that you threw a hissy fit at the guy you date very briefly? You are lucky he hasnt dumped you on the spot lol You are not ready to date. Your break up was fresh(as I saw from previous thread) and you still picked up bits and pieces from that. And you decided for a new relationship. Where you projected your past insecurities from previous guy to next one. Best you can hope now is that you "keep it together" somehow. That means to keep those thoughts for yourself and not expressing them. He is not allowed to cheat, to sneakily message other girls etc. But he is allowed to follow people he knows and likes some of their pics when he see them. Its not cheating, its not a sin, it doesnt mean he likes them more, it doesnt mean anything. So, keep that stuff for yourself and for therapy. Dont be quick to air something like that. Because he was patient and very understanding now, but if it keeps happening, dunno if his patience will not run out. And you will lose him in that way.

Or, you know, she could just be a "B" word. I mean, she did hit you and kidnapped your dog lol Why even try if you are gona find somebody like that? Watch better next time or just dont try at all. And no, she is not good with your daughter, she took her dog!!!! Dont let that slide. Call the police on her and get the dogo back at least.

You are indeed missing the point. He can understand that you dont belong together and accept that relationship is over. That doesnt mean he is not hurt and that he wants friendship with you. You are looking from your perspective, not his. Its you who broke up with him, that is why you dont care if he has a girlfriend and can hang out, you have beed detached from that relationship probably long before even breaking up and never even saw the future with that guy. He, on the other hand saw future with you and probably wanted to marry you. You breaking up with him broke his heart. In the situation like that can you blame him for not wanting to remain friends? Again, he was cordial, he doesnt really want to be friends with you. You broke his heart, last thing he needs is you acting like nothing ever happened and talking to him about new guys or even anything at all. He can be over the relationship and still not wanting to have anything to do with you. Also "doesnt know what he saw in the relationship in the first place" is not really something positive. That probably means he resents you. Again, you did broke his heart. So try to look at the things from his perspective and leave the poor guy alone.

Why did you intentionally made the baby with the guy you know for only 8 months and who is still stuck on his ex gf? Did he ever planned on marrying you? Or even her? Or he just plans to spread his seed on every girl he meets without commiting and that you all will be one big happy family? We, our lives, are all consequences of our choices. Now you have to live with yours. He is the father of the baby so he needs to be included if he wants in that. But you, you need to get out from somebody who says that wants you but texts his ex wife how you mean nothing to him. She is also special case if she is really "devastated" that he will have a baby with somebody else, that means that in some way they are still together and that at the very least they have a feelings for each other or even worst probably even are casually lovers even now. So, fine mess you got yourself into. Protect yourself until it progresses to even worst degrees. Under any circumstances dont go into anything financial with that guy unless its a child support. Go live on your own if you can and raise that kid. Untangle that mess before its trully too late.

Is the guy still married? He is, isnt he? Would be such a cliche but I feel he is lol Anyway, I will tell you something that I learned with my friends that is applicable here: No matter how much you are right and they know it, if they are determined, you telling them differently wont change a thing. They will just go mad at you. So sometimes its better to let them hit their head to the wall but be there for them after. So if you reconnect, dont go hard on her, it will just drove her away further. Maybe listen more. Tell her you miss her and that you want to see her, think she will be glad to do it.

Because you still hurted him? Just because he accepted the break up and was cordial with you and agreed to stay friends doesnt mean he wasnt hurt in the process. And that he should be "happy go lucky" and go out as a friend with you to hear about your new boyfriend or crush. That is why in general we dont remain friends after the break up, because no matter what we say, things can never be the same.

Eh, some do. People have kind of "idylic" view during first 6 or so months. Where we dont or just choose to dont see partners flaws. For example his career and job issue that still exists but now its started to bother you for a good reason. Also,some people get "lazier" over time and relationship becomes a routine. First few months you are on you best and you try, after a while its less and less trying and more just routine that was created. Anyway, no, you are not asking too much. He should be trying way more over you and frankly, some of his behaviors like him getting mad and nasty during arguments, or even him playing video games all day are just concerning. Most of my dates when I was your age didnt require some crazy ammount of money but just an effort. So its not like he cant do it, he just wont. You are still young but I can see that you want the right thing from the relationship and not just be in one. Trapping yourself with the guy like that, with almost no future, that refuses to work and build his career unless you make him do it, that even wont appreciate you or try over you, that is not the right thing to do. Go separate ways, there will be plenty of better guys out there for you.

I also think its irrelevant. But not because she might not think that way but because we already know she does so not only that OP has insecurities about it, she actively makes him that way on purpose. No wonder he is afraid to cut her off and leave when she puts him in that state. There is no "just do better communication" there, or "lighting the fire", she purposly brings him down so she can do whatever whe wants. Its not salvagable. Which brings me to one maybe ankward question to OP: How was her own financial situation before she met you or even now? Because if she could always leave in 20 years and find somebody more prettier, why didnt she? Did you supported her financially? Maybe even gave her a place to live? Because other then kids(that came way later into your relationship) I dont think she would stay with somebody that she has so low opinion if you dont provide her at least something. And I am sorry, but that something is usually financial incentives.

Aside of straight up telling her its a hassle to have her there because she really cant help with anything, even by just making coffee for people, you could endure the nagging and just let her be there. Sadly, in this situation there are only those two options. Or to lie and say how the car broke down and you cant pick her up but I am not a fan of lying and dont believe even that would stop her in her demands. Anyway, I believe its better to put the line in the sand now. Its maybe a bit too late, but the trouble is, people who are pushy like your mother like to push, and push, and push. So its better to put that line there so they can know your limits. I dont believe that would stop her in the future demands, but at least let her know that you cant have her there. She will maybe be insulted, but she is also your mom. It will probably pass her after a while.