utopia

Hi everyone! I will try to not make this a lengthy post. So I got to know some new people - two of them being brothers. Lest call them A and B. I first met В (he is my age - younger than A) and later I got to know A as well. At the very beginning B made it clear he is very interested in me, but I’m not interested in him so we’re having friends relationship. However I happened to have interest in A, who is aware his brother is interested in me. I don’t know if this is the reason or he is just not interested in me, but he didn’t make it obvious that he is interested. There was just one occasion where I caught him staring at me and maybe another occasion where I felt there something (but could be just in my head). Keep in mind both A and B are very very humble people. I didn’t do or say anything because I don’t want them to have issues over me. Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Well yeah, I saw him with the wife and two kids. I guess he just lied about the divorce. I feel bad for being so naive. I should be more skeptical about what people tell me.

Thank you everyone for your responses. Exactly what I was thinking but still it’s good to hear it from other people too.

I just need to share my recent experience and see what you guys think. I’m now in a camp and it all started in the beginning of May. There’s a guy here that started looking at me in a way that I could feel he’s interested. I like him a lot as well. One day he said let’s grab some drinks together so I agreed. We met and had two beers - not a proper date but more like small chat, get to know each other and be friendly. He gave me a few compliments and somehow made it clear he’s interested. In the end of the “date” he gave me a brief hug and a cheek kiss and we parted away. One night we had dinner with him and three more people. He was giving me a lot of compliments all the time. Everyone could feel he likes me a lot. Then I became even more interested in him. At one point he got drunk and started touching my leg, but since there were other people I pushed his hand and said “stop”. He stopped and maybe an hour later we all left the dinner. After that I invited him to meet again couple of times but every time he said he’s busy but we’ll talk soon and meet. So I stopped inviting him and he did not reach out yet too. However every time we randomly see each other out in the camp he is looking at me in the same way as the beginning. He is recently divorced (6 months) so what I think is he’s either not ready for something new and just playing to get attention or he has reconciled with his ex wife. Or maybe just lost interest. I will be happy to hear what you think.

Well the last time that we spoke he said that I’m taking him for granted, I don’t appreciate what I get, I don’t care about him etc.

Thank you all for the good advice, eye opening suggestions and different perspectives ♥️ I ended up being ghosted by him. I’m now trying to build my self-esteem, doing things that I enjoy and make me happy.

Thank you all for your comments. I've read more information on the topic of emotional abuse and a lot of the things listed are valid in my situation. I would have never thought that this is the case. It's weird how I see that what you all say is true but somehow I'm still thinking that maybe the problem is in me. And maybe if I change this or if I change that it would all work perfectly. I guess I need to think more like someone who is out of the relationship... like if my best friend was in my position what would I think about her relationship.

It's interesting that you've mentioned gaslithing... I'm 33 years old and the first time I've heard about this was few months ago when he introduced me to it. He said his ex gf was gaslighting him. About the question why I'm still dating him... I guess I'm just scared that I'm too old and I will never have kids if I don't have any this year. And also from the conversations that I had with him .. he seems to have the same view on kids and family as me.

Hi everyone, here's a quick update on my case. First of all I will begin with answering one of your questions since I didn’t do it previously. Yes - I'm very affectionate. I love hugging and kissing. Acutually it's him who is not very into hugs and kisses. He says he's just always been like that. If I go and kiss or hug him he would reciprocate but he would very rarely do it first. So I did continue seeing him, but I think things are getting worse. I will go directly to our last fight. Couple of days ago I asked him if he wanted us to meet for coffee or something the next day after work. He said he's not sure since maybe he will have some work related stuff to do after work. Then I asked him to call me the next day to let me know when he knows if he will be available or not. He called me from 18:00, but at this time I was in a work related meeting and had some other tasks that I had to do. So I call him back about 1:30 later. That conversation escalated pretty quickly to a fight. He said I did not call him on purpose, said that I'm lying that I had been working and also said that I'm not acting like a grown up. He said he's fed up with my behavoir and things are not going to work if I keep acting that way. Keep in mind that most of the times he would not pick up his phone when I'm calling and he will call 1-2 hours later. But I never did question him about it or made a problem out of it. This is our last fight. But in general he always "feels" that I'm not telling him everything or I'm hiding something or I'm lying. But I'm not. For example a few months ago someone cut my car's tire with a knife. It was not a pleasant experience where I had to get it fixed somehow. The only person who helped me with it was my brother. When I was telling about what happened to my bf he said he can feel that I'm not telling the truth. I got upset about what he said because there's no reason for me to make that up. When I got upset about it he said I'm making drama ... There are other situations where he would not like something that I did or something that I said. I won't get into details as not to get you all bored. As some of you previously said - "It's only getting worse". I would love to hear your thouts on my situation. I'm still wondering if I'm the problem here.

Thank you all for your comments and different perspective on the problem 💗

There is a guy I'm dating since 3-4 months. We see each other regularly and we are already intimate. However there is one issue. He says that I need to be more open and I have to talk more with him. When we see each other we talk about a lot of things but they are all stuff that happened to me or him during the time that we hadn't been together. He is saying that we need to be having deeper conversations and I totally agree with that. He always asks me if there is anything bothering me and if I have any issues. He wants me to share anything that is bothering me about our relationship without him having to ask. I'm honestly trying to do that but it looks like I'm not sharing enough. He also said that he doesn't feel like I'm in love. So I guess I'm pretty poor at expressing my feelings and emotions. So my question is do you have any tips on how to be more open? I would be happy if you can give me any examples as well. Thank you

Trust me? Really? Are you kidding with me? You have both got vacation for the exact same days and I guess.. this is a coincidence AGAIN?!?!? No No.. I'm sure you're not going together to the seaside. I'm not going to make myself a fool anymore.. F*CK YOU

Why did you write me?

I love you.. no matter what happened.

You will be sorry for that.