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About Juha

  • Birthday December 20

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  1. Totally agree. I even said that to her, she contacted me because she was lonely. She denied it, said she always thought about me, etc Did not buy it
  2. We met through a mutual friend. We don't live in same state 3 hour drive
  3. I only said I would be friends and stay in touch so I could end the conversation with her. She would not let it go, obviously because she knew she treated me poorly and wanted to not feel like she is a bad person. Whatever... I am not going to be friends with her, I am never going to contact her.
  4. Thank you for replying. The thing is she was still asking about getting together and we had discussed multiple times about middle of October worked for both of us and agreed to meet then leading up to me making that reservation. I did not just make a reservation without knowing it would be good with her. That is what makes me so mad. The week I made the reservation we talked about meeting this weekend, I agreed on meeting this coming weekend.
  5. This 100%! So many people now would rather ghost, not deal with someone because they have poor manners, poor people skills, and do not want to deal with any situation where they may feel like they are a bad person due to having esteem issues. So not dealing with it is better than disappointing someone and feeling like they are a bad person. This is rampant now, can't tell you how many times I have heard this happening, let alone to me.
  6. Honestly, it has been a while since I have had a real relationship. It is not because I do not want one I have always wanted one, a wife, kids, etc. Things never worked out for one reason or another. Now, my life really does not allow that as I have been caring for my elderly parents for a few years now I just don't see how I can have a real relationship with that going on. I have tried dating but have run into some less than stellar women who were less than happy with my life situation and let me know about it. Let me know it was a detriment to dating and having a relationship. So i have tried and not been successful, recently got screwed over and lied to. People are selfish, don't care how they treat you for the most part. Dating now is not fun Wish I could give you advice to help....
  7. We live about 3 hours away from each other. We met over a year ago, had a great time for 3 months then she ghosted me. Well in July she got back in touch out of no where and said she missed me and apologized for ghosting me. Told me she was going through some tough times and did not mean to ghost me but could not put any effort towards me and that she regretted doing that as she really likes me a lot and has thought about me all this time. So we start back up communications, things are really good, like before. Great rapport, get along great. I unfortunately can't go visit her then due to lots o things going on and could not get away, then when I could she had things going on and did not have time. so we stay in touch, and things are good or so it seemed. I made a reservation two weeks ago for this upcoming weekend to have a long weekend together as I know she could. Last week things seem to have gotten a little weird with her communication. Talk Sunday night, I tell her I have a surprise, she says I want to tell you something first. I say ok, she says she met someone, has a boyfriend, and we can't spend time together anymore. Tells me I know I am not a good person for doing this, I never should have gotten back in touch with you, I really like you but you live 3 hours away, etc, etc. I ask her when did this happen and how long have you known him. She tells me this week, they met two weeks ago. The proceeds to tell me how much fun they have, how he's a good guy, etc. Like I care. I say really, then she says what did you want to tell me. I tell her I booked a place for this weekend for us to go away, spend time together. She goes silent. Then says, I can't go with you now. Why did you do that without telling me? Tell her, oh I don't know because we wanted to get together and it has not worked out yet. I then say, I am going to have to pay a penalty due to cancelling week of as it is busy season. Then she says we can still be friends, I don't want you to be sad. I tell her I don't need her pity. Then say I guess you really did not like or care about me as much as you said and showed me. Told her don't worry I will delete your number and won't bother you again. You don't have to do that, I still care about you and want to know you, I really do care about you. I tell her I see no reason to stay in contact if you are not interested in me romantically anymore. I do not want to be just your friend. She tells me please don't be mad, you should be happy for me that I am happy. I said and what about me? She tells me you'll find someone that's really good, I know you will. I then say, so I guess you got back in contact with me because you were lonely and just felt like using me for attention to make you feel good. She says no and that I am mean for saying that. lol End the conversation, I agree to be friends to end the conversation, I will never contact her. She tells me she definitely wants to stay in touch and check in with each other, at this point I am laughing to myself. I take the high road with it all, wish her the best, etc. All I have to say is unbelievable and how much people really do suck! How much they lie to you. In two weeks she meets someone and has a relationship Laughable to say the least. Meanwhile all that time invested for nothing, such a waste. On top of I lost a deposit for that reservation this weekend I am so pissed off right now, can't put it into words...
  8. The question is why fix it? This woman/girl may be 22 years old but emotionally is 14. You have not had enough experience in dating to see you are being taken for a ride for her enjoyment. She is toying with you as it is entertaining to her. She has shown you she is far too immature to have any type of serious relationship with yet you keep thinking this will happen and want to make it happen. That is not how it works. She showed you giant red flags but you are choosing to ignore them... I wish you luck
  9. Missed this info... You should not be doing this, if this is true This is not cool at all! Grow up and date adult women, no excuse for this at all.....
  10. Usually when the person you are dating is still friendly with exes it is a bad sign. When a woman has many guy friends and is flirty and friendly with them she usually has self esteem issues and needs the attention. In both cases they are not good relationship material and should only be dating/fwb material. This advice will save you a lot of trouble down the road. Never get involved with these types of women...
  11. WOW!!! Where do I start with this? First let me say you need to start having respect for your self as your hot mess of a gf has no respect for you at all. She self diagnosed her supposed mental health issue? Seriously man? Come on wake up!! This woman is totally playing you with this mental health problem that has never been diagnosed by a trained professional. She is using that as an excuse to be an immature, irresponsible, disrespectful party girl. This woman has no boundaries for a relationship. I would have cancelled moving to NYC, dropped her when she said you were killing her fun while she was in Ibiza, packed her stuff up and left it at her parents house. This woman does not respect you at all! She is in Ibiza with strange guys who paid for the whole trip for her and her ty gf's. You said likes gifts, I assume she likes money being spent on her also, you think she is going to be in Ibiza with her ty, party gf's and not hook up with any of those guys. Truthfully it sounds like there is going to be an orgy going on with that group in the place they are going. Ibiza is a very wild, no holds barred party place... I would cut my losses with this woman who could care less about you and whatever relationship you two have... Do yourself a favor and find a more mature, adutl woman, who is stable and ready to have a real adult relationship... I apologize if I am being harsh but this situation should be totally unacceptable from your point of view. I wish you luck...
  12. So, I have a couple of questions: What would your friends get wrong? Why do you care what she thinks? What you need to do is have an adult conversation explaining you have feelings for her and why it is best for you to not be around her, talk with her, hang out with her, etc. She does not matter, you do! Do what is best for yourself, not anyone else...
  13. I have had this problem in the past and I just did not go to any group get outings/party anymore or at least for a while... I went and did other things, hung out with other people, or hung out with those friends when she was not around... For me it's best to not have any or much contact with someone I like romantically so you will not get hung up on them.... Believe me being around someone you really like to date is painful and you just get hooked even more...
  14. Regret is a heavy burden to carry. Try to lighten up on yourself, you made a decision at the time that made sense to you. Unfortunately you never know how things will turn out in the future. The thoughts of not knowing what could have been or how you two might have been can be crushing, I know that. I am not going to be someone who tries to shine a bright light on this situation and say you never know what will happen. Unfortunately the time has passed for you with this woman and you will never know how things could have worked out. You might have tossed away something great, you will never know. Meet other women and you might be surprised at what you might find.... Take care of yourself adn I wish you luck
  15. It seems many of you have taken what I have stated and put your own twist on it. I thought I was pretty clear or maybe some are thinking and looking at this differently than I am. I can find people to date and be with but children will not happen with them for one reason or another. How will things will fall into place? It makes no sense to say things will fall into place when you want children. At least to me. Hi everyone, thank you for your answers. Up until recently I was not looking at age and dated but nothing fell into place. It seemed I was dating to just date. So about a year and a half, two years ago I changed and went with more I guess you can call strict criteria as I did not want to waste time with people who I knew were not going to be long term. Problem is to me meeting someone who is say 46, is active, smart, etc, etc is all well and good. I would like my own children, a woman that is 46 is not a good candidate to have children, even if she wants to. Looking at things both parents over 42/43 is not a good scenario. I can totally understand what some are saying about a life partner and I was that way up until recently. As of now I want that but I also want kids with them. If I can't find that then I would rather not be with anyone. Maybe I will change again and decide differently. I do not look for late 20's Daisy May Porter. I clearly stated mid 30's and up. Also the win comment had to do with some women I have met that is what they do, come home from work and sit on the deck and drink wine with their girlfriends most days. They are not active or exercise. To everyone who says I reject women because they are too old to have children, I do not say that to them. I just tell them I don't think we are a good match.
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