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EddEMM222

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  1. Alot of good points were made on here . I am way more into communicating than she is. I do start off trying to sit down and talk to her and most of the time she starts rolling eyes, saying shes tired or she doesnt feel like starting a big fight. And I always tell her "honestly the last thing I want is to start a big fight with you because it never fixes anything just makes things worse" and she says "then lets stop talking about this stuff. Inside I feel like she's always known how attractive she is and im not and she kind of has always used that to treat me however she wants. Meaning if im not happy about something all she has to do is deny it, get very angry, then wait for me to drop the subject if not and we dont speak for a week shes fine she could care less. Basically she sees it as who really has more to lose. We split and I might find another girl o maybe not. She definitely will find someone who is better looking, better financially, more interesting.... And its not that i am thinking low of myself im just being 100% honest and realistic. When your speaking with someone you know if your in the same league, or if they are a little fugly or way out of your league. I once showed a co worker a picture of my wife and some of her friends (my wife of course way prettier than the rest) and she pointed at the must unattractive one and assumed she was my wife and went on to tell everyone she was my wife. When my buddy finally corrected her,her and others kept saying yea right and now way in hell) so it is what it is I guess. Still no reason to mistreat someone. And yes me relapsing no matter how spread out it may be is still a problem I need to overcome. With out a doubt. And our finances are way fine. I use to be at that point where I was pennyless but when I do relapse luckily it only lasts a day or two. Looking at a bank statement you would never be able to tell. Still no excuse.
  2. Thanks everyone for your honest opinions at first it bothered me with what someone posted and I was worried this was one of those sites were everyone jumps all over someone with no intention of even trying to help. Yes I have done counseling for my addiction. It used to be worse, using everyday not working.... butt now I stay away then go back to it every 8 or 9 months it seems like. No excuses though I know I obviously still have a problem. We also went through about a year of counseling and honestly things were great right after. It was perfect. She would actually smile at me which was something I hadn't seen in years. Which in turn made me feel good about myself which lead to me being completely sober with out the smallest urge or desire to use. It was nice. So we stopped the counseling which was draining our savings. Then one day she started getting angry about nothing and I asked her don't throw away everything we've done and it didn't matter. We went right back to where we were. I do have self esteem issues and I do have problems with my family growing up and I know I but to much into our relationship or I ask to much from her ( attention or interest i guess ) but its just the way I feel about her. Someone mentioned 17 years was a long time to wait and the truth is I always felt like she was ready to end things. I never expected to hear that she actually wanted to marry me. I honestly have alot bottled up inside so I guess its good to be able to let some stuff out every once in a while. Thank you again everyonr for your opinions.
  3. wiseman dont judge a person after reading just a few paragraphs. There are people i spend 8 hours a day with who I would not judge or criticize because I dont know that much about them. I promise you would be quiet as a mouse if we met face to face
  4. we have both lied to each other during this relatonship. I tell myself we basically met when we were young and we grew up together and did stuff kids do but we kept alot of it from each other. There was also an incedent with a good friend of mine that again she denies but it makes no sense and on my part ive had substance abuse problems so ive dragged her through all that. She's told me how much of a loser I am how im unnatractive nobody would ever be interested in me. No friends.... I did go through some loser times but ever dince my daughter was born i have never stopped working even worked 2 jobs and a;though i have changed jobs often these past 11 years its always been for a better job. But yes this relationship is full of ***ed up problems. I honestly forgive her for most of her mistakes, I dont forgive myself for mine. I just truly love her and I admire her for her good qualities. I just dont get why she never admits her wrongs. and i wouldnt look through her phone if I didnt always see something involving other guys. her friend telling her not to worry she'll find a good guy soon. Or her asking about some guy. I dont know.... but thanks for the honest replies
  5. Hello Im 43 and she's 42. And we've been together since high school, been married 8 years, have 2 beautiful daughters 4 and 7. A while back I found something on her instagram account that to me wasn't right. She had gone out for drinks with her sisters and friends and at some point she had sent a quick video of herself and her sister smiling at the camera obviously drinking with loud music playing. So I found that she had sent that video to a guy/ family friend of theirs a few years older than us. And he had responded privately but I couldn't see the message. So she claims she sent that video to everyone that follows her on instagram but when I checked everyones account I idid not see anyone else recieving the video. Then after that a few weeks later I see in her history that she googled Aquarius Scorpio Compatability Im aquarius and shes scorpio. also Are Aquarius and Scorpio toxic together? and Are Aquarius and Scorpio a bad match? And had opened up a few of the results. She then also googled Scorpio and Scorpio Compatibility in Sex, Love and Life and opened up a few of the results as well. I then looked up to find the guy she had sent the video to and discovered he is a scorpio also. When I bring it up I get the same responses from her. She gets angry starts accusing me of being crazy a wierdo insults and put downs. She always avoids answering the ?? eveytime. Am I wrong for asking her for an explanation or am I making something out of nothing.
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