Kwothe28

I feel for you. I had a close friend die two months ago. He was in different town so we didnt saw each other frequently but we always heard on the phone and talked a lot. He was young, sports fanatic, didnt smoked and do drugs, even drinked alcohol very rarely and died unexpectedly due to desease discovered in a very late stages of it. We heard few days before that, he told me about what they discovered and couldnt talk a lot because of it so I didnt want to disturb him anymore. Anyway, few days later I saw a Facebook status from his sister that tagged him. He unfortunately passed away from complications due to ilness. Still feel guilty for not maybe reaching more to be there for him even though I know he barely could talk. Anyway, since he was a college friend, one other friend from college that was from his town attended the funeral and payed for flowers on behalf of our college group. Rest of us did donate some money for charity in his name. I chose one related to basketball, he loved that sport. So I would recommend that, since your friend troubles were alcohol related, you choose something related to battling alcoholism and donate to that in your friends name. It is something nice you can do even though you can no longer help her personally. Also, dont feel guilty, you tried to help. Some people are just like that, self-destructive. Even though we try to steer them up, they always end up with the head banging against the wall. In a situations like that, there was very little you could do to actually help. Change comes within ourselves, if the person doesnt really want to change, its pointless to steer them up on the right way. Take care for yourself. Also, if you have real difficulties in getting through grief, search for grief recovery groups in your area. It might be beneficial to share that grief with somebody that could help you get through this in time.

There are some emotionally unavailable and distant people who dont enjoy stuff like that. Sorry to say, you seem like the type. You seem to think that he should just be doing the work and go home. While he maybe wants somebody to hug a bit and then go home. Heck, there is a legitimate business in America where people pay just for that, just to cuddle and go home and go out with their lives. There are no emotions attached, people just sometimes need intimacy. If you are not fine with that and makes you uncomfortable, then yes, I agree with others that you shouldnt do it anymore.

Is it normal? Yes. Often times big emotions about somebody new "trigger" big emotions about somebody from the past. Reminiscing, remembering some good times you had with your ex, it probably happens to all of us. Its a common thing However, this is something that you shouldnt be doing. Because it can affect your current relationship. Always remember that she is an ex for the good reason. And that all those good times probably had a follow up with the bad times or else she wouldnt be an ex.

Do you know the definition of insanity? Insanity is doing the same Fing thing over and over again expecting something to change. I feel that is what you are doing here. She will always have some excuse and gaslight you. How she needed attention, how you werent there for her, how nothing happened while she is sending her pics to some other guys and has hour long conversations with them etc. Worst of all you are enabling her to do that and find her excuses. How she was depressed by family deaths(good reason but still not good enough when it comes to cheating), how you werent there for her and others. Well, if she can text, call and send who knows what to ex boyfriends and strangers, I am sorry, she can open up to you and let you in. She just wont. And I am sorry, but she wont change because there are no consequences of her actions whatsoever. You find out, she finds excuse and blames you, you leave it alone. Until next time where same thing happens. How do you expect her to change anything when you do the same thing over and over again? Let her have consequences of her actions right now. That means divorce. And taking a custody over kid. With her cheating and mental health issues(if depression isnt just another excuse she gave you) you should be in a very good position for that.

Ever since Covid, some essentials have high demand but limited supply. For example construction stuff gets more difficult to come by so prices have gone to Heavens. That reflects on, for example buying new, or even old appartments as prices have gone insane even for my smaller town. As people are forced together(sometimes in a very small space) almost 24/7 there is also very big chance for separations. So, renting is in high demand also. Same with some groceries as there is high demand but due to shortage of workers and everything, less supply. So, that is up too. And its not just my country, brother is in Germany and he said that what he payed 120 Euros before in supermarket over weekend now pays 200 Euros. Same stuff, same ammount. But salaries remained the same. So yeah, it sucks. Sorry, small off.

Why are you seeking an answers to the question that he already answered to you? Its symptomatic that your answer to even something nice that happens in your relationship is to either question it and pester him if its true or just simply leave. I get that anxiety and past experiences are getting to you hard, but at least for now there is no reason to panic that much. If he said that you were exclusive andd even asked you if you told your parents and teased you about it, why is your instict to leave? Because he didnt schedule something right away? You are deliberately seeking negative stuff and dismiss or question positive. Talk and work with therapist on that.

Looking at the other theme you opened in January, you had a crush with your collegue and the spark with boyfriend was never there and he didnt want kids and you did. Which tells me that you were looking for a way out even then. In the situation where you are diametrally different persons, where passion was not there from the start and where your views on kids are completely different, I think its OK that you broke up now. You are almost 30, you need to think about the future. If you lived together you did spend a lot of time together, but if you wanted dates and it bothered you, you should have pushed him for it. But again, you expected introverted person that stays at home and plays video games all night to initiate dates. You say that he did change that on your initiative and I am sure that he is the nice guy, but if you dont feel it and you almost never did, I think its for the best for both of you to go to their own way. Especially with the kids thing if he didnt change his mind on that.

Its OK, it happens. You essentially did nothing wrong. You asked if maybe you should have waited longer to send her a message after, I dont think that you should play those mind games. If she is interested she will be happy that you contacted her and answer. Yours from some reason didnt. So take it as it is and move on. It happens. And yes, for your own sake, lower expectations. Not every date is "future wife" material. Some are indeed "just some person we got out once".

Its like that today. With many options comes also that unless she is very interested if she notices something she doesnt like, that means you are out. Never assume how date went. Date went great to you, but to her, who knows. They will always tell you how great time they had, how it was fun etc. But they will almost never tell you what they didnt like. And yes, unless some higher attraction is there, that could be as trivial as sneeze. Maybe its you, maybe its them, I had a girl that was very interested in me(even came up to me at the times) and we had a drink. But she, get this, brought her friend along. I decide to play along, see what is going on and have that drink and walked her home later(with friend leaving us). But nothing happens. So I just say to her that if she is interested in something she has a number and leave it alone. A week later I find out that she reconciled with her ex boyfriend in meantime. So whole charade with friend was just for that and that she didnt tell me. When she broke up with that boyfriend I saw her in town and she was cordial and she said I should call her. I never did, have no interest in pursuing somebody like that. What I am trying to say is, its a jungle out there. It might be you, it might be her, who knows? What you do know is that she doesnt want that second date. So leave it at that and dont hope over it. You had fun at the date so just look at it like that. She is somebody who made you company for a day and was fun. And that is it. Look at the dates like that. And dont get hope unless it develops into something more serious. Go with smaller milestones, a date, a kiss, a second date etc. After its serious then get hope. Because if you hope just based on just one date there will be a lot of dissapointments for you.

That is for sure, just asking did you "throw presents" on her and gave her money before? Because it might just be that kind of relationship. If yes, then just lose contact, you dont need somebody like that that would just use you.

Why would you give her money? Are you her "SugarDaddy" and was she with you only for that?

So, she was bit "too much" and you texted some other girls? And she broke up but you still share a place together? First of all, she broke up and literally bringing some other dude at your own place. There is no reconciliation there, that is over. Share the dog or let one or other take care of it, but after lease is over, just move out on your own and let her move in with other guy or whatever she wants. She is literally keeping you there for the name on the lease, that you cant even be at your own(by lease) place is ridiculous. You were both way over the top. You with "emotionally cheating" and her with using you because its convinient for now. So its best to just cut all out. You are way too focused to please her. While she doesnt care and even brings another dude home. Its still your place. Even if she brings another guy, she cant forbid you to be there. In fact, pretty sure since your name is on the lease you can do it to her. So demand to be able to sleep for 4 months there. If she objects tell her that you will involve police. If she wants to be there for 4 months because its convinient you can at least demand your rights.

Go watch "Don Jon". Guy had Scarlett freakin Johansson and still opted for porn. So, it might not be you at all. Also, its his addiiction and you should encourage him to get help with that and see therapist that could help him to get that under control.

So what? I live in more conservative environment where mothers do that and that doesnt mean he shouldnt help you, especially with the little baby there. As my Grandma used to said "There is a habit but there is also withdrawal from that habit". That means that what he was with his mother shouldnt fly with you. And that just because his mommy did everything for him doesnt mean you should too and that he should take the part of the obligations around the house or baby. Sadly, I think its too late because you already got him used to do that stuff for him. You should have "trained him" better before so you shouldnt have that issue now. Anyway, you got a load of other issues on previous threads like you reading his messages and invading his privacy and suspecting of cheating. With him being a doctor, frankly, you are maybe right because those nighshifts are trully obscenity as far as cheating goes at least around here. But I think all that(including him not being helpful) should be adressed on marriage counseling. And to see if you can work things through.

No, you are an idiot for even talking to her. And double idiot for even chase somebody like that. Leave that one alone, she just wants attention. Why do you think she even tells you about the other guy?

Its OK, you just want to "unload" on us... Why are you still with the man who is emotionally abusing you by telling you that you are a bad person? You already know that he is doing all those things on purpose to bring you down. And that even when you do something nice for him like making dinner he will try to do that. Stop trying to make him admit that he is doing these things on purpose when you can see for yourself that he is looking for an argument even if you try to be nice to him.

Type 2 carries higher risk that your kids will also have diabetes so you should definitely disclose it if you plan something like that. But I dont see the need to disclose your medical history if you are not serious about the person you are dating. If it doesnt affect them and if its not serious(people live with diabetes for years, kid I train with has type 1 his whole life), or just doesnt come up in conversation, dont mention it to random dates. But they should definitely know for later.

In your case dont think any ammount of time is reasonable. He doesnt view you as a girlfriend. There is no magic that will just make him do that. And he will certanly not do that when you are apart. Sure, sometimes distance makes heart goes stronger, but in his case there is nothing to go strong. You are just somebody who is conviniently there, a companion. There are no higher feelings there. Time apart would only make him more distant. And you pressuring him will make him distant even more. I am sorry, dont think there is a reason for you to wait. You will need to learn to invest into people who will actually want to stay in your life. And not to chase after people who will never reciprocitate your feelings and efforts. In relationships, but also in life with friends, work, anything.

Did you wrote about this case before here? Story seems very familiar. He was very blunt with you. And that he wants nothing to do with you except occasionally seeing you in school. He told you straight forward that he has a girlfriend and avoided any way possible to give you his number. Which frankly says he is not interested in pursuing anything with you. Not even if he leaves his girlfriend. Usually when we have a crush on someone we create a perfect image of that person. In our eyes they can do no wrong and even if they do wrong things we excuse them as they "probably have a reason to do that" or "they are just misunderstood" or anything in that fashion. You start to see cracks. That he lies, is not a very nice person, that he doesnt even like you as a friend etc. And that is good. It will help you in moving on. You are young, you have school, i think last time you said you run tracks, so focus on other things. Go out with friends, meet new people, I am sure the at least some boy would be interested. I think in time as you progress with life you will see how silly all this was and how he was "just some guy" who you once knew and not anybody of importance in your life.

Oh I understand the issue. But you want to tell her that she didnt do her work, and made you uncomfortable and humiliated. While in her eyes it was you who made the mistake, your name was in red and she had every right to do so(according to her, not me). Just saying that in this particular situation you wont get far with what you want to do. Because in her eyes she had every right to do so and its pointless to tell her how she didnt do her job and wronged you. That would only anger her even more.

To your superior? You want to politely advise your superior that she made you uncomfortable? Yeah, please dont do that, she probably wouldnt care at all. Present your case and explain yourself. That is the best you can do in this situation and you got your shot for it. Anything else like telling her how she wronged you while your name was in red after audit would just make your situation there even worse.

Narcissist love themselves and believe they are better then anyone. Now he maybe wants to give himself importance by changing name, that is different, but narcissists have grandiose sense of self-importance and love themselves to death Just a hipster thing. Though it does play in self-importance part Just "ladies man" property. Narcissist for example wouldnt care because as the world revolves around them they wouldnt work their schedule around someone else That could be narcissistic trait. They can do no wrong and exploit others without guilt or shame That again could be playing into self-importance part If he wanted you there from some reason and felt you were pulling away, yes, he would use that. He displays a lot of narcissistic traits so he could be one. He has that sense of self-importance, shows lack of empathy for others like your friend, responds very poorly to anything making him in bad light in front of others(as that would means he is not that perfect) and frequently lies and manipulates to get what he wants. Which brings me to question: Why would you even want to be friends to somebody like that? Move away as far as poossile from that person.

Is your girfriend narcissist? I ask because I dated one that never even took the driving test because she was bad at driving even though she even took extra classes on top of regular ones. And never even plans to take it because failing would probably mean she is bad at something and she cant allow that. Also, you are basically telling somebody that runs on ego that she is not good and needs help in overcoming something. In the words of Iron Man: "Not a great plan". I would also think about the relationship if she really is. Narcissist dont make great partners because, well, they make everything about them. You are just there to uplift them, if you cant, you serve no purpose in their eyes.

Is it important to you that he is at your friends wedding? Then tell him that it is important to you and that you would really like him to be there with you. He probably hates to be hustled that much with driving and/or maybe wants to spend more time with his friends. But in a relationship sometimes we do even the stuff that is of slight inconvenience to us so the other side is happy. Frankly, yes, it is a big deal. It would be OK if both weddings are on same day or very far away so logistically you couldnt do both, but like this I think you should insist on it if it bothers you.

Oof. I hate people like that. Roomate was maybe tired or even didnt want to watch but both are fine and not the reason to get angry. I think she is just that difficult as the person. People who have not much going on, especially people who got used to get by alone in life, develop a certain selfish side. Meaning that they get unable to see the other side of the argument and get agitated when it doesnt go by exactly as they want. They are very diffucult te deal with because, well, you do have to assume what to say or do around them for them not to get like that. She will maybe cool off and that is fine, just be well aware that she is just like that. And dont apologize or chase her because, this really isnt your fault to begin with. Just because you watched it before you didnt spoil anything for her or the others. Her enjoyment of the show or the movie shouldnt relly on you previosly watching it. Glad that it all turned out fine with insurance. And will put "Squid Game" on the list to watch.