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Rb1980

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  1. Hey all, In Feb/March 2020 an 18month relationship ended. It hit me hard and put me in a very bad way. Since then Ive had one other relationship that didn't pan out well, dated another girl and am now in a relationship with an amazing girl who shares similar interests, looks incredible, is funny and makes me feel genuinely loved/cared for. When I'm with her I actually feel on top of the world. The reasoning for my post is that I still get thoughts of this initial ex in my head. Such as how much I miss the times we had, how I wish things had gone different, how I'm jealous of her career and wondering how many guys she's been with since we split. Now we've been apart longer than we were together but for some reason she still seems on my mind everyone and then
  2. Thanks, i know I'll get over this hump but it's just got me thinking is all. For example it was never made clear why we were splitting. On the night she ended it she was saying how she wishes she didn't all of a sudden feel this way and how she's never had someone care so much for her. Yeah we argued like any couple but it just didn't make sense how someone could go from being so in love with me to not wanting to be with me
  3. Thanks all. I think I miss her company and our experiences a great deal. We just clicked over so many things and when it was over it really rocked me. It's knowing that she could share similar experiences with someone else that hurts really. I'm at a stage mentally where I don't think I'll ever have such a great time in a relationship again.
  4. Just said she had lost feelings and that spark had gone. Told me she still loved me but was no longer in love with me
  5. Hey all. In March 2020 a relationship I was in ended. It rocked me so bad I took counseling, medication and regularly called support groups etc. Eventually I got into another relationship which unfortunately ended after 6 months. Since then I've dated one other person. I know I've always still held feelings for this ex but since we have had no contact since we split it's kind of become easier as time moves on. I hadn't even seen her around town or anything since we split and then 2 weeks ago she walked past (she didnt happen to see me through pure luck) Then earlier this week I saw her on a dating site, still looking as stunning as I think she is. Looking happy and looking for a new relationship. It made me feel really strange and kind of reignited the feelings of wanting to see her, talk with her, date her again. I know I need to be fully over her and with it approaching 18montjs since we split (we were together for the same amount of time) I just don't know why I'm still like this
  6. Thanks all. The reason I know about any others is because we have had open conversations about many things. We spoke about our sex lives and things we like, things we don't like and from that came, "how soon into dating or a relationship do you first sleep with someone?" From there I told her I've sometimes waited a few weeks, it's once been on the first night, she then mentioned her it had been for her that's all.
  7. We only see each other once or twice a week due to our jobs too
  8. About 2 months, maybe a little longer
  9. Hey all, I've been dating this girl for a while now, things are going well and I hope it keeps progressing. We haven't had sex yet and when the topic came up she said, "Do you not think it's too soon?" Now I totally respect boundaries and said to her I'm happy to go at whatever pace makes her comfortable, it's only confused me as I know with her previous partners it happened a lot quicker. Some of those partners were long term, some very short. I just don't know why it's different with me. I ask myself, could it be that she's changed as a person since then, or does she not find me as attractive as them or anything else that comes to mind.
  10. We split up march 2020 and since then I've been in one other relationship. I do miss her a lot as we had a great time together but I've accepted we are no more. Plus with the girl I'm dating now there are lot more similarities with each other.
  11. Hey, thanks for this. You are right, a few weeks ago, I was unsure but we have spent more and more time together and I can definitely feel that I'm getting feelings. With regards to this stuff about the ex, it seems to be moreso that her sexual past always played on my mind. The reasoning for this whole post is that why am I finding it hard to accept that ex's past whereas anybody else I've been involved with, their past just doesn't bother me. I know she's an ex and right now I have nothing to do with her whatsoever but I think it's maybe a feeling of inadequacy or something on my part. That someone could have had so many partners,maybe it's soured my view of her, maybe I wish I had been a bit more like she was. I don't know. When this girl I'm dating now references her past, it doesn't phase me at all. Maybe due to how she's had similar number of partners to me. Again, I really don't know.
  12. Hello, I've been dating a girl for about a month and our relationship is building up nicely. She hasn't had a great deal of previous partners, likewise nor have I. It's kind of meant that in my mind I don't feel threatened with being inadequate or anything and I have nothing to be jealous or fearful of. My ex though, she had a lot more partners than me. Of which she said came from a time in her life where she had left an abusive relationship and was desperately searching for someone to find her attractive, or want her. When we got together she referenced how she was no longer like this and regrets how she was. For some reason I keep thinking about her past and how, even though we were together for 2 years, I was just another guy and that to her, sex was just something you did regardless of how connected you were to the person. Now I'm really into the new girl I'm dating and her past doesn't bother me in the slightest. She has kids, has been married and obviously had sexual partners. However the ex with more partners still bothers me. Can anyone give insight into why I am thinking like this? It's really annoying me that I can spend time breaking down in my head things that the ex did and said in relation to her sexual past where as with this current girl and anyone else I've been with doesn't bother me at all.
  13. I think to be honest....deep down the gf that split from me 14months ago stays on my mind quite a lot (Ive had one other relationship since then) and maybe I'm just wanting something to bring back the excitement and feelings I had during that. On the other hand I love being around this new girl and do look forward to every opportunity of talking to or seeing her. So maybe I'm just looking to see how people on the outside looking in see it
  14. Yes definitely and when around her I definitely feel the spark now growing. In one way I don't really know what I'm asking for on this forum. I think it's just as my previous relationships went very differently at the start I was just unsure but I guess every experience is different!
  15. We had a really nice time together yesterday and I can certainly feel that feelings are building between us. I don't want to rush things as I've always tried to let things take a natural pace. I think as I haven't seen as much forwardness by her compared to previous ppl I've been with I'm sowing doubt in my mind unintentionally.
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