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About Rb1980

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  1. We split up march 2020 and since then I've been in one other relationship. I do miss her a lot as we had a great time together but I've accepted we are no more. Plus with the girl I'm dating now there are lot more similarities with each other.
  2. Hey, thanks for this. You are right, a few weeks ago, I was unsure but we have spent more and more time together and I can definitely feel that I'm getting feelings. With regards to this stuff about the ex, it seems to be moreso that her sexual past always played on my mind. The reasoning for this whole post is that why am I finding it hard to accept that ex's past whereas anybody else I've been involved with, their past just doesn't bother me. I know she's an ex and right now I have nothing to do with her whatsoever but I think it's maybe a feeling of inadequacy or som
  3. Hello, I've been dating a girl for about a month and our relationship is building up nicely. She hasn't had a great deal of previous partners, likewise nor have I. It's kind of meant that in my mind I don't feel threatened with being inadequate or anything and I have nothing to be jealous or fearful of. My ex though, she had a lot more partners than me. Of which she said came from a time in her life where she had left an abusive relationship and was desperately searching for someone to find her attractive, or want her. When we got together she referenced how she was no lo
  4. I think to be honest....deep down the gf that split from me 14months ago stays on my mind quite a lot (Ive had one other relationship since then) and maybe I'm just wanting something to bring back the excitement and feelings I had during that. On the other hand I love being around this new girl and do look forward to every opportunity of talking to or seeing her. So maybe I'm just looking to see how people on the outside looking in see it
  5. Yes definitely and when around her I definitely feel the spark now growing. In one way I don't really know what I'm asking for on this forum. I think it's just as my previous relationships went very differently at the start I was just unsure but I guess every experience is different!
  6. We had a really nice time together yesterday and I can certainly feel that feelings are building between us. I don't want to rush things as I've always tried to let things take a natural pace. I think as I haven't seen as much forwardness by her compared to previous ppl I've been with I'm sowing doubt in my mind unintentionally.
  7. Thanks all. I love being around her and yes we have kissed, nothing more. At the moment we have seen each other maybe once or twice a week as she's been sorting a house move. I do miss talking to her when she's not around and I do look forward to seeing her again. I think it's moreso that in both my last two relationships I found the girl very attractive right from the start. They also showed they were in to me right away. Which I guess, kind of made me feel more invested in it. We have more of a connection than I did with any ex in terms of interests, humour,
  8. Hey everyone, I hope you are well. I've started dating someone. Been about a month now. Nothing made "official" yet or anything like that but we go out, we speak everyday and we enjoy each others company. I think we both want it to go further, she's just a little cautious due to her having kids. (I'm glad she's like this in a way as my ex was the total opposite!) Ive found myself not as physically attracted to her as I have my most recent girlfriends but we have more similar connections. We like the same type of nights out, same music etc. I just have this little nig
  9. I was dumped about a year ago and it still hurts a lot. When I think about it in depth I often think about whether my actions ever hurt her. I never abused her, cheated on her or anything like that but the fact she ended up unhappy in the relationship makes me feel guilty that I made someone so sweet and caring become unhappy for some reason. I tried to help with her mental health issues, her job loss and her grief from a family death and on the whole it was appreciated but for some reason she just became unhappy. She always says it was nothing I had done or not done but I can'
  10. It doesn't benefit me at all! I totally get that. The 2nd ex, I don't really think about much. That recent incident (the subject matter of this post) sparked some thought but that's gone away fairly quick. It's the one before that I just can't shake off. My main thing seems to be her past and it really shouldn't matter! For some reason I think I felt I was special to her so that now I've become part of her past too, I feel like I never mattered
  11. To be honest....whilst in this mindset. Nothing
  12. I think that is it. Exactly! I miss my ex from last year a great deal. Maybe initially in the same way anyone would miss someone when a breakup happens. What I actually find myself doing though is looking at her past and being 1, jealous of it and 2, wishing she hadn't been that way.. It's, like, for example. She has slept with a lot more people than me. She said she went 5hrouth a patch after leaving an abusive partner where she slept with guys too quickly, she thought it might make them want her etc. But instead they slept with her then left. I find that hard for some reason.
  13. Oh I agree I have forgotten about her in the sense of contact etc. It's my thoughts about the previous ex that are now concerning me
  14. Thanks. I seem to have got over this little hump pretty quick. I wish her all the best and would love to be in her life again but I can't make that happen if she doesn't want it. Weirdly though, in letting this pass I have started ruminating about the original ex I posted about almost a year ago. I keep thinking about her past, what she's doing now, how she's coping during covid, how happy she might be, whether she is with someone etc. I really hate this and I have a session with a therapist next week but I can't shake it and worry I may end up causing myself harm long term
  15. Thanks, I appreciate the advice. As mentioned earlier, I hadn't even really given her a thought recently. Then this happened. I really think I need help as I tend to do this too much. For example when she told me she was with someone, my mind instantly goes to, "when did it start?" "How did it come about?" And much worse. I need to find ways to not be like this as about a year ago when another relationship ended I was the same, if not, worse. It seems I cant let go of someone that "chose me" it's almost as if my brain says-" they chose you and wanted you, so how can they n
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