Kwothe28

Dont "bait" them and pursue justice on your own. Thieves are people without moral scrupule so if they can steal you can bet they will protect themselves in any way they can. That means either beating you up or worst. What you do is tighten your own security. Alarm, cameras, stuff like that. And please lock your stuff from now on, as you can see, you never know if somebody would take advantage and steal them.

Had to google "lorry" but thats a truck? Yeah, very suspicious if they were alone.

The worst thing you can do for the narcissists is to not give them any attention. They thrive on that so the more you cut them off, the better for you. She doesnt get attention from somebody else. Or even maybe does and wants yours too. But, in any case, for you, its just better in general to move away from narcissistic person.

I agree, after "I am single" you should have just throw him out of your house lol

Seems sus. However, if he had something to hide he wouldnt have just told you. Cheaters usually hide stuff like that, he could have just said neighbour is a male or that he was tired and didnt call. Where friends parents also there with them? It boils down to trust but with no evidence its kind of the lose/lose scenario for you. If you go and if something did happened its bad because you will let it slide. If you dont go you will forever be "jealous girlfriend". But I do agree that you maybe shouldnt let it slide just like that. Especially if they were alone.

Well, its a valid excuse not to date you. You just got out of relationship so maybe he doesnt want to be a rebound, you dont have a job so that means no financial stability and job searches are stressful by itself so you do have a lot on your plate now to commit to a new relationship. Its a valid concern by his side. However, it might be just an excuse not to see you. Has he expressed desire to see you again?

Its not really respectful, no. Considering he lives at her home and that otherwise he would have to probably pay rent somewhere for few months he is there. However, you need to know that living with inlaws is usually a recipe for disaster. Its two generations of people that are different. You have your own problems with her, he probably has his. But its your mother so you tolerate it or are even somewhat defensive toward her. For him its different. He works so he would probably like to sleep to 10am without somebody making noise, probably would even like to relax, walk naked(just a dubious example), even to vaccum at night. I know very few examples were living with inlaws didnt result in absolute disaster for the couple. Constant medling, you cant do stuff your own way, arguments etc. Its bad enough for two people alone, let alone if you include inlaws there. Which does beg the question why not just rent something in meantime for the sake of the piece. Like this, if you are forced to be there because finance or circumstances, tell him to endure while he is there and you dont move out. But again, I think the best solution would be to just move out to some flat where you could live alone.

Yes. Buddy of mine broke up with his fiance. He was devastated because her brother and brothers wife deleted him as friends on Facebook. Think he was more devastated about the brother because they hang out and drink together, then about the fiance lol. Anyway, yes, messy break ups(big relationships, marriages) also pull stuff like that. You cant expect to be friends with her family or her to be friends with yours. Also, if you are wondering how honest she was about stuff just read this if she is willing to go to that lenghts just to keep up appearance how everything is great in front of colleagues, you really cant trust anything that person says or does.

I am gona tell you something one family friend told me a long time ago while I was still a teen: "Son, if a guy passes you and your girl in town and smacks her butt there is no need for fighting. Let her tell him to Foff and move on. If she doesnt and expects you to hit him, she aint worth it". Meaning that if she expects you to react and literally fight for her, she would like that kind of behavior. And that you should go away from that. He literally smacked her butt lol. I dunno, poor boundaries or not, going to gym is one thing. Going out with people from the gym, letting him getting that personal, him sending valentines to her, going to his home, alone in his car? Nobody does that just to "not cause trouble". At best, she likes attention, at worst she has something with the guy. You are being naive if you think she is just being "friendly" there. I wouldnt react toward him because, again, that is exactly what she wants. If she continues to do that toward him, just move away.

No, she absolutely WANTED to. Hence why she dug up at least some reason to get out. You can never know with people like her because one day it would all be OK and she would spam love sentences and next she would see something she doesnt like and then spam why you are incompatible. More often then not, those reasons can be just as dumb as "you walk the wrong way". As Ive said we call that people "I want to pee but now I dont want to pee" because of how much oscilations they have when it comes to stuff. They really are too unreliable for anything serious.

Was he alone for a longer time before you or just a selfish person in general? Because people who got used to relly on themselves a lot often develop a thread where they become "self sustained" to the point where they only think about themselves and not about the other person so it creates a problem when it comes to a relationship. It would mean that they would have to sometimes do even something they dont want for the other side and that doesnt bode well with them who are conditined to take care about themselves only. Same in your case, you wanted something that was his and he hasnt been able to share and give up. Get away from those kind of men in future. Those kind is not for relationship because they cant adapt to that. Too much selfishness there.

Sounds like she wanted out. Maybe from fear of commitment, maybe on vacation she saw some stuff about you she doesnt like, but she wanted out. Hence why all those small stuff that bothered her and that she had to tell you to "provoke an issue" so you would give her that "out". Leave it at that, she doesnt know what she wants, wanted out and get it but she still contacts you. Dont allow her that next time. Heck I would even go "no contact" there. Because you wont get far with her "I want to pee but now I dont want to pee" attitude.

I had a client who organized grief support groups. They would usually go somewhere over the weekend but due to Covid they organized over Zoom also. All kinds of people, young and old people who lost spouses, people who lost parents or even kids. They were also faith based but I think they charged for those grief resorts they organized. There were lot of testaments of people who they did help. So, it doesnt hurt to try. Sometimes even listening might help you get some things into perspective and go through grief process better.

Ah, good old deflection. Is she a narcissist? Because some of the things you said, her need of attention of men, her lack of empathy toward both of you(you and her lover), even her wanting to seek reference from somebody she hurt, using deflection when she faces criticism, those are all very narcissistic threats. Narcissists usually ask for admiration at any cost. When she didnt get it from you due to circumstances, she turned out to the lover. When she had a fight with him she would go to you so you could pleade with her and beg her to stay because you "love" her. When you confronted her about cheating she deflected and was mad at you for talking with her mom and even left you. She cant face criticism because that would mean she is not all that perfect. So she just deflects the guilt onto you because it cant be her fault that she cheated. See how vile all that circle she wrapped herself into is? That is why I think that she may be that or at least exhibit some of its properties. Anyway, you shouldnt blame yourself here. Your only fault is that you didnt see "the writings on the wall"(her texting other men inappropriately, lack of sex for a year etc.) and didnt cut all that off sooner and even wanted to marry somebody like that. Her compliance about that only shows what I wrote before, that she knew that didnt work and probably cheated even then but idea of marriage was somewhat exciting to her so she stayed for that. You are only as useful to her as the dopamine charge, other then that, her lack of empathy toward you shows that she didnt care for you. I am sorry, but that is how it is. Its her fault for cheating. She may deflect it on you, you may even think its your fault because you somehow pushed her there, but ultimately its her fault. If she wasnt happy she was free to broke things off. Instead she accepted marriage proposal, cheated, broke things off, then came back whenever she had an argument with her lover. That is all on her and her cheating ways. Cut her off from your life, you would be far better without her in it, trust me.

I think I wrote it on some other thread before that I do find it quite silly. Because here you usually know when you "fool around"(FWB, just lovers etc) and when you are in a relationship and actually dating. I mean they date for 8 months and guy organized her birthday. If he after 8 months thinks that is casual just because she didnt asked and that he can go around then its more of a d i c k move from his side. Saying how he thought they are not exclusive wouldnt be good excuse anyway. Just my 2 cents on issue. Anyway, OP, did he gave you any other reason to be jealous? Because casually glancing and seeing app is one thing but making a fake profile to check is way over the top reaction. Just having an app doesnt mean that much so its more about do you trust him or not. You dont from some reason.

If she didnt add you as a friend, no. Just write it off as "not going to be" and move on.

OP, unless "he takes me back and I screw up" includes stuff like you cheating on him, him getting mad at you for just saying the wrong thing, then breaking up and even emotionally manipulating and to say stuff like "I would take you back but if you shame me again I would even stay off social media and never want to hear from you again", that is an abusive behavior. He doesnt have to hit you to be abusive. Him emotionally manipulating you and getting mad for even small stuff you do is quite enough to constitute your relationship as "abusive". You are even at the state where you writ how life is meaningless without him. That are all common threats of abusive relationship. So you need to get away from there fast before he does even more damage to your psyche.

That doesnt mean a thing. What, well, people in general, are looking for, have to offer and what they settle are 3 totally different things sometimes. Sometimes they offer not that much but looking high, sometimes they offer a lot but settle for less, its highly individual and you never know. However, I do think you should be comfortable to at least know you are offering something of quality. If you dont believe that you do, women wont believe it too. So, expand on yourself. You mentioned freelancing, there are lots of people who earn quite nicely on it. Get some courses on what you do, lots of them are even free. Raise your rates in time as you get experience and get to at least decent levels of earnings. Same with obesity, go to nutricionist, get some program and stick to it. You need to believe that you can offer something to those women and to be confident enough to approach them, talk, take them out etc. And you need to work on yourself for that. Because at the state of the things you describe, no wonder your matches are not good in general.

She cant block him, he is(or was) her Twitch sub. Streamers and their simps, ups, I mean donors, work on the principle where they literally pay you money to "support" you and chat with you. So no matter how creepy donor is, lots of them oblige because, well, they pay them good money. So you dont want to "upset" potential donor. Both sides are very codependent on one another. OP, if you dont stream anymore just block him. You dont need to be polite with him anymore and he wont take a hint. Its not that big of the deal.

Joking aside, I do think you should have at least tried for the kiss there. Shy or not(dunno where you heard stereotypes about Russians being shy btw, they all drink a lot and are very open people, now that is a stereotype) she asked if you liked her and even initiated physical contact. Like this you dont know where you are. Are you a penpal? Are you something more? Youll be stuck on that instead of knowing the answer and proceeding accordingly. edit Damn, cant upload gif. Think of Brian from family Guy having his directions to a girl shown by traffic tower controller

I think you are approaching this on way too personal level. You think he maybe doesnt like you, OK, maybe he doesnt. However, in corporate(well any big employee count job but corporate especially) you are forced to work with people who will not like you and who you will not like because unlike our friends, we dont choose our colleagues. So you will have to learn something I call "Hear on one ear, let go on other". That means that even if he yells at you, you can just let go and not get it get to you. Boss may be a ***, maybe his mistress wouldnt sleep with him that day, maybe its some other reason he is like that, but you will have to learn not to get to you. That is the only way you will persist there, by not letting stuff like that even stay in your mind. I do agree with DF, just say "Ok will be done" and move along. You know you do your job good and that should be enough. Because if you let it get to you, you wont last there, or sorry that I say, even your health wont last too much. There is no point in the job if you let it affects you that much. I knew a guy who worked for municipal government on very important position. We had a mayor who would call him and yell every day because mayor would go around promise stuff(like any politician) and it was up to him and his department to somehow make it happen. Before you know it he was on bunch of meds and didnt last long. So, please be careful and learn to be more flegmatic about it. Also, as I understood, you are new to the team. After you adapt more and spend more time there, maybe even their behavior will "mellow" a bit. But again, if you want to persist in corporate environment, work with therapist and try to be more flegmatic about that stuff. You wont last long if you dont.

Is he a narcissist? Narcissists usually do hoovering when victim of their abuse tries to get away. Anyway, cheaters(serious kind) have distorted sense of morality. In his mind he maybe likes you, wants to be serious, even maybe wants to marry you. But if opportunity arises he will cheat with no problem. Friend once said to me "If you have a hamburger every day wouldnt you want pizza every once in a while?". That is the mind of somebody who cheats. He maybe trully wants you back. But he will never stop because his moral is like that. Also, what he does now is definitely harassment. If he continues please involve police.

Sounds like postponed break up. Which wont do any of you any good. In 3 years you will both forget how the other one looks, let alone anything else. Not to mentioned she or even you may change in that time. I am a nominal believer(meaning I do believe, even do stuff like patron saint day but I am not into it that much), but I can understand her and her parents. They are what we call "big believers" around here. Believe, go to church, consult priest about their stuff etc. To them somebody like you who wouldnt share their values with them is not acceptable. Sounds silly to you but to them its like a way of life. They would want their daughter to be married in big church ceremony and their grandkids to be raised on the same value. Not to hear how "Jesus didnt die for their sins" from you. I am not excusing them, even I think its silly and often laugh at local "big believers" with stuff they do, just explaining to you why your values would never match.

Insecurities? He is insecure about himself so he seeks validation Same guy with shady trip and saying how he would marry you and then saying how he would not? Lots of red flags there

Its called "mimetic desire". Valuing something because somebody else values it. You are like a kid that doesnt want a toy. But when he see somebody else plays with that same toy it wants it back. But gets bored with it and throws it away fast after it gets it. In other words, you are only putting value on those girls because somebody else had them. Otherwise, you dont like them. Which suggests you still havent developed your own taste, what you want, what you dont want from the girl, from relationship in general and stuff like that. Which is OK, you are young, you have plenty of time to find that out.