TONI20

Thank you for your response. No, he was in a relationship for 15 years. We started 3 years after his break up. I think lots of people took advantage of his kindness and wanted a piece of his stuff, money etc. He was sharing if he offered but he did not like when someone (me) asked for something. It had to come from him. He was generous but it had to be his initiative. This was about material and non material stuff. I never asked for any material stuff. I am independent.

It seems she picked on things to provoke you. Just like others said. It would break my heart to say a such comment to my boyfriend. Not sure how people can do that. Please cut her off without any announcements that you will do. No need for it. Just do it and take some distance. In 6months each person can be "lovely". You not having kids was also an issue? I am lost for words

Is there any chance that her ex is back in her life or perhaps she thinks you are too good to be true and sabotaging this? I think the best way is to cut all contact and let her make up her mind. Do not tell you will wait for her or that she should reach out when she is ready. This way you are leaving door open so she will not rush back in. I have a messed up situation too so I do know how confusing and painful this is. take care of yourself

Thank you Wiseman but he really was not all that bad. The issue in this relationship was that I was more giving than him. He saw giving as a giving up his power. Any small requests like a massage I did for him with a smile but he was always very quick to say no because if tired or busy or wrong timing. I asked him why he is so quick with his "no" to me. the chair was the straw. He is very articulate, educated and the most intelligent man I ever met but has a short temper. He treated me with a respect but when I pushed his buttons, he did "bite". He apologised before. This time he did not. I miss him and not sure what can I do

I feel like I was too harsh when I said I don't want to be with him any more. I said that in a very unpleasant tone as I was still upset. I was upset he told me to f...off and that he waited a week to get in touch. I was even more upset when I realised he did not feel he owns me an apology. I feel a great pain and a regret.

I know it is so hard to let go because you do have a history and lots of sentimental memories. However, she never felt your loss. She knew she can always pop in and out as she pleases. She even threatened to block you if this or that....no, no, no... you admitted to your faults, to the time where you could not be the best partner- this is huge. Lots of people would not admit and just blame the other person. Cut her off completely. That is the only way to deal with this. You need at least 3 months off -no text, nothing and than let us know how are you feeling. Let her feel your absence.

Thank you. He does not drink. No, it is not so bad. This time is bad as it did follow with a week of silence. I feel regrets not a relief. Perhaps I could handle this differently and give us a chance but it seems he quickly accepted the break up.

I am 45 and my partner is 52. We were together 3 years. We had bumps but overall it was a very good relationship. Deep friendship and perfectly matched sexually. Both professionals so we mostly spent weekends together and made phone calls during the week. Once a day or so. We spent lots of times among his lovely friends ( mostly couples). A week ago, we were at the BBQ at his friend. Suddenly became cold so we all went inside and we all started to watch something on TV. I was uncomfortable on my chair and did not see well so I asked my partner to swap seats with me, at least for a bit. He refused and laughed off that he was ok. About an hour later, I asked again and he refused again. His friends laughed. I was not. Someone else offered his seat but I politely declined. At home, I mentioned I was upset with him. I also said that knowing him, he would offer his seats to everyone but refused to give me when asked. He got very upset. He said I was being princess and he will not be doing what he was told. He also said I embarrassed him a front of his friends. He told me " f...you" He said that twice. it was midnight so I went to bed and left his house in the morning. He saw me leaving. We both did not say a word. I was shocked to hear these words. I have not heard from him for a week. This has never happened before. We had disagreements but a day or two and he apologised or me...we never left it for more than 3 days. I was gutted. He called after a week and sounded still angry. He said he did not expect me to leave his house without a word. He also wanted to see if I will get in touch first. He seemed surprised I expected apology but he did eventually apologised. I also did, for my part. We argued some more and he asked me what do I want. I said I want end it. He dropped the phone on me. I emailed to explain that he disappeared for a week and cant expect we will be fine. He sent me text to arrange collection of my stuff. He said he accepted my decision. I have a seconds thoughts now. I do love him but I did not want to let him get away with swearing and leaving me for a week. I am heartbroken. What to do now?