Kwothe28

Thats really sweet Though I have a feeling you moved a bit too much on a friends scale. So you would have to be a bit "cheeky" to get an answer. For example to ask somethng that would warrant a reaction like if he thinks you are attractive.

Yes, be sure to also sleep with him and take care of this gentle and poor soul of a man... Sorry, sarcasm. But you fell for oldest trick in the book. Married men who would just about to leave their wife for you. Dont fall for that trick again or even involve with married men. As you can see its not worth investing your time into that.

Ha. Boys are easier to us men. Or at least easier to connect with. But yes, you never know. Friends kid asked for a laptop for school and to play games and they splashed and bought the expensive gaming one. He played a bit and didnt touch it anymore, has more interest in going to playground outside with other kids. That same friend pulls a lot of weight when it comes to kids. Even hired assistant and transfered a lot of work to him so friend could be more around kids and involved there. But he is very responsible person. He told me something to reflect a while ago: when you are at late age you dont have time to drag relationships like before, but you should have experience to recognize if the person is suitable for you very quickly and see where its heading. So, look at it from that side and that you did that even if it didnt end up in something more positive.

Wow, just wow. That is quite possibly most hurtful thing I have read in a while. I understand that he is hurt, but that was uncalled for. That whole message is there to bring you down. That is not something somebody nice would said. He didnt deal with break up before, but still, you dont say that to somebody you claim to care about. You did good to go away from somebody like that. Staying there or conceiving a child with that person would be a nightmare. You tried and it didnt worked out, dont feel bad for that. At least you didnt spend much time on him and you cut it off in time. Dont second guess the decision. While I am sure he has positive properties, just "being nice" often isnt enough. In life you need somebody who you can relly upon. With that guy, tomorrow when kids come, it will all fall to you. You will maybe not have that much time for friends and going out but you will have bunch of other obligations over kids. Taking them out to play, feeding them, cleaning them, putting to sleep, later taking the to school or even some sport practice etc. Somebody like him, who got used to hermit life, wouldnt be at any help there. Outside or at home. Its better that you saw that on time and broke it off. Also, you are putting too much pressure on yourself. OK, age is a factor but people have kids at 40. Having just somebody to procreate isnt a solution. Nore is just having a kid. Its your goal as it should be. But its far more important to have that kid in a healthy relationship with somebody who would make you happy and pull his weight when it comes to it. Focus on that first, marriage and kids should come as an extension of that.

To not be significantly overweight and has a job and good family background? That is not some unrealistic standards to have. Both of those issues will create a problem in the long run. You maybe accepted her(I would even say settled for her and got used to her) but in the long run you couldnt deal with that. Because it does bother you. Lots of people grow during relationship under the influence of partner. Become more healthy, more mature, stuff like that. Lots of people even "rise above" bad family background and dont become them. However in her case, that wont happen. In 4 years she is still overweight and has no job at all. You say she grow but I fail to see it there. If in 4 years she asks commitment so she could lose weight and be more healthy, its just an excuse. So, leave her alone and find somebody who will be up to that standards.

You move away from that. Anytime there are a mixed signals like that and she avoids meeting from whatever reason, you just move away. Its not on you to assume the reasons. Maybe she just wants attention, some of her actions and her wanting to pull you up whenever you pull away imply that. Maybe she found somebody in meantime and wants you as a second option if that fails. None of that should concern you. Your concern was to get the date. When she says yes but its dodgy about it(mom sick, cant get out, tired etc), you move away from her and find somebody else who will actually be excited to go out with you and not just keep you in the loops for whatever reason.

Nah, you have enough proof that he is at least being innapropriate. Messages, lies, sleeping at her place, showering there. That is way too suspicious to be just friends hanging out. If you were not married and had kids I would tell you to just leave. Like this, you need to at least confront him first. Though he, as all cheaters, would probably lie so be careful with that. If you really want proof there is probably some agency who would provide that service. By the sound of things they wouldnt have hard time to get it for you. But again, once the lies starts, that is it, sorry.

What? Your partner is not entitled to that stuff. If they need laptop, or bike, or anything else they can buy it. People in relationship do that kind of stuff, for anniversaries, birthdays, heck even just because. But they do it because they want to and because other side does the same for them. If he/she expects you to just buy them all that, that is just entitlement.

He wanted to be "the man" and do it himself. Which doesnt justify his reaction at the end. It is a minor issue so really there is no need for him to be that mad at you.

I am sorry, what? If that happened while you were together both are trash. He would have never told you if it wasnt for confrontation and she would have never told you if she wasnt rejected. After you broke up its a fair game but still you dont do that before you check with friend if its OK. So, take your steps and remove yourself from those people. Trust me, you would be happier.

Meant about "hope you are as happy as I am" and all from previous thread. Even if you are happy, you dont really shub it to other person nose like that after break up. I dont mean as "she wants you back" games. Good. Move away. Again, 10 months is a lot, you should be at least close to acceptance and moving on and you are nowhere close to it.

The real question is why after 10 months you arent anywhere near close to acceptance? Even if he is a rebound, real deal, even if she cheated on you with him duriong relationship, you should be on your own journey by now. I know its not easy but you need to move on and focus on yourself. I skimmed through previous thread so i assume its the same girl. From what you said, she was no prize to begin with. So, I suggest to focus on that. And that you are much better without her and that you will find somebody better. Dont play her games, dont hear from her and look at her posts or whatever, block and try to heal and move on.

So you want to tell her that you lied to her by telling her its basically her fault that you lied. Yes, I can see how well that conversation is going to be already lol

Did she actually said something like that that or is that you are telling yourself to justify your lie? She was hurt because you were not listening to her. As I said, ridiculous but doubt she will end friendship because your FWB. Even if she does, again, your choice is who you see even if its a creeper. You lying is also solely your choice to not tell her that you like the guy and want to see him further. Because that probably take much deeper conversation you arent really ready to hear from her. Like this you just told her its over so she wouldnt bother you further. So, again, dont shift that blame on her. And dont lie to your friends because you know they wont be supportive of your dating decisions.

Think there is also this. Though I dunno how much is it into account with her not liking him because of it Anyway, all 3 sides are ridiculous 50 year old creeper who goes to swinger parties and hangs around younger girls who could be his daughters Your friend who pouts out because you didnt listen to her. Even if she is right, it is your life. I would just say "Fine, bang your head against the wall if you want" if I were her, but her reaction is way over the top You who actively lie to your friend about some guy you just have sex My point is that you created a ridiculous situation. Where you sleep with some guy that can be your father and lie to your friend about it. That is not something normal and you also know that. And whole thing is on you. But as I said, we(or even your friend) are not here to police who or who you cant sleep with. However, dont lie about it. Have a "heart to heart" talk to friend and talk it through.

No, dont do that. Rule of thumb is that you ask her out, she says yes/no and you offer a date. If she says yes but cant agree with date and doesnt provide an alternative one, its over. She said by the end of the week and you did good by saying that she should contact you if she is free. So if she wants she will do that by the end of the week. If she doesnt, count it as a loss and move on.

Nah. People who are codependent rarely change. Even if her mom isnt with you, imagine a future with that person. If you want to marry her would she reject proposal because mommy doesnt approve? Would mom come to wedding if she says "yes"? There is lifetime of issues there even if she wouldnt be. I would also like to ask why so much "pampering"? Some of the stuff you described, you go waaaaaay overboard with it. You literally bend over backwards for her and her every request is granted. Which would maybe be fine if other person knows how to appreciate it and returns it. But from your story its completely one-sided.

Because most of us has a common sense to know what happens when you pursue justice on your own? Unless you are like that guy from "Nobody" who would catch thieves at their home and return his stuff by force(simply because he is literally like "John Wick" and can kill them in an instant), you going to their appartment complex to search for your stuff(that are probably sold very quickly for lot less then they worth) would not end good for you. Neither will your attempts to "bait" them. That is something police should be doing, not you. Your preoccupation should be to protect yourself so that wouldnt happen again. That means what most of people said to you, alarms and cameras. I understand that you think its your stuff that you probably worked very hard for, and that its injustice. I hate thieves too, consider them lowest of the low. However, you need to understand that there is nothing you can do except reporting a robbery(which you did). You dont know if your stuff is there at all, who are the thieves, are they the same as the first time or even would they come back. All you know is that its injustice and that you should do something about it. Which would maybe work in an ideal world or a Hollywood movie. Unfortunately, real life isnt that. In real life, injustices often go unpunished. You obsessing over it, and how you will catch them and return your stuff, wont do you any good in the long track. And it wont return your stuff because the fact is that they are gone and probably even sold by now. I am sorry that I tell you that because I know that you cant accept it right now with "vigilante justice" in your mind. But its how it is and I think that you should work toward acceptance of that. Because any other solution just isnt very plausible in reality and will just bring harm to your mental or even physical health if you decide to go to altercation with them. I am sorry, but that is how it is.

She does need friends outside of relationship and so do you. However her not including you with her friends group after 2 years together is ridiculous. Which suggests that she is not that invested into you even after that time If she had time to meet him 4 times she had time to meet you once. Dont fall for "I am busy" excuses if you know she is not that busy that she can see somebody else

I think that guy wanted one thing(along with anal which if he asked is probably his "thing"), which you provided to him right away. Dont really think he is interested in anything else. You should be careful with guys like that(especially on Tinder which has many of those) because, well, if you want something more you are hardly gona get it there. Even his cold attitude during the act kinda suggests that its just sex for him. Then dont hook up on the first date and give your bum to stranger just because he asked. If you expect emotions you wont get it from ONS Tinder dates. They work to get one thing, and there is usually no emotions involved there.

You shouldnt put that much blame on yourself because what you met is very self-destructive person. For example you could have run away for the hills just after this sentence. Past as the past, but if all your exes were abusive, chances are you are attracted to that kind of behavior. Which means that you could have been most wonderful guy in the world, worshiping her and all, and you still wouldnt be enough for her. That kind of person wants drama, somebody to fight for her(even literally), and she would probably be more contempt if you yelled at her. Because in her twisted mind that would mean you care. Hence why all the drama and break ups. Her getting back to that ex was inevitable result of her self-destructive cycle. There was nothing you could do there but run for the hills. But you didnt and saw what happens when you offer a person like that alternative. She seeks dysfunctional behavior by herself or else she isnt happy. You blame yourself, but her behavior or even condition(if she has BPD) is not your fault and is on her dysfuntional ways. So, be happy you dodged the bullet there. Block her and next time dont ignore huge red flags like now.

I think in this particular instant, you are being used and manipulated. He/she wanted you to do their assignment just so they could be "mentally ready" for dinner, after you felt uncomfortable, he/she resorted to being pissy at you because you wouldnt do it and even tried manipulation like "I would do that for you", "I asked for help and you refused", "You should speak to therapist about your defensivness" etc. So basically conditioning you that next time it happens you would actually do it. Beware of people like that. You are as useful to them as long as you are helpful. First time you say "No", this happens and you are being discarded because you are no longer being useful to them. So, learn to say "No". You are in no obligation to do their assignment and if you are uncomfortable you shouldnt do it. Nobody should take advantage of you, if you want to help OK, if you cant or wont, its well within your rights to say "No". They are free to be pissy about that, it just shows their true face.

Dont "bait" them and pursue justice on your own. Thieves are people without moral scrupule so if they can steal you can bet they will protect themselves in any way they can. That means either beating you up or worst. What you do is tighten your own security. Alarm, cameras, stuff like that. And please lock your stuff from now on, as you can see, you never know if somebody would take advantage and steal them.

Had to google "lorry" but thats a truck? Yeah, very suspicious if they were alone.

The worst thing you can do for the narcissists is to not give them any attention. They thrive on that so the more you cut them off, the better for you. She doesnt get attention from somebody else. Or even maybe does and wants yours too. But, in any case, for you, its just better in general to move away from narcissistic person.