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JustAstrongGirl

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  1. Wiseman2, very wise comment indeed! 👍 I only mentioned scared since his body language shows me he has “moments” that could be interpreted as such … he has every option to stop chatting and hanging out, but keeps findings reasons to keep talking or quickly searches for new topics. I’m sadly one of those people who try to figure people out, and likely while I have the most convincing poker face that I’m not doing any of that! I make sure I lean back here, I don’t want to put him in any wired places or put pressure on him. Too much respect for him to do anything funny. But perhaps end of the day, the kind of heart this man has is an example of what I can look for in my future life partner.
  2. I absolutely love all these feedbacks. All of you have given some great thoughts. I’m contemplating all sides of the coins! I was in therapy while I ended my last relationship, it actually lasted longer than it should have because I had to protect some financial assets. But I prepared my escape fast. When I left, I felt wonderful relief and truly worked very hard to look at why I stayed to begin with and have grown into someone I really respect (that’s a lot of self parenting). Plus It wasn’t a long relationship, two years total. I took the last year to prep my escape. Covid made it more of a challenge. I did go on lots of dates once single just to see what was out there and actually met some very nice men—just nobody I felt a good click with… until well… you know who. Since I tend to appear stoic, now it is very possible that he can’t get a read on me. I have an excellent poker face. So I have to own that I might’ve made this man kinda confused too. I’m not sure what his type is… maybe it’s a question I can tease out…He might feel I’m out of his league given my career status etc. but it might be worth noting he masks up everywhere and is extremely cognizant of not spreading Covid and he’s actually very concerned about giving me Covid. He wears his mask at my house And actually doesn’t go out to eat or drink socially he just basically goes to gigs plays on the stage and then goes home he doesn’t really hang around in groups at all with this going on. But who knows why he politely declined my invite… My first hit was that I scared him (he’s shy) but not sure! It wouldn’t be the first shy guy I scared away. *shrug* All that said I’ve been trying to be very careful about not putting more into those “relationship “than what he’s putting in so I try not to initiate all the conversations and I let him guide how much time he wants to invest… Because I do not want to have any sense of codependency because in reality I really do enjoy my freedom but would like to find a nice life partner.
  3. Soooo since people have mentioned that I should ask if he’d date a student, he did say he makes a policy not to date band members, or fans—but he has made a few exceptions. I’m not a band member or a fan… not sure what this means. He did tell me some relationship stories, one was pretty sad—I don’t pry much on that because I like what our present is. We don’t talk too much about past but we have. Our chats are more focused on current life, fun things, we can talk politics, and how we feel about things in life etc, ethics etc.
  4. Sorry Heartgoeson, my typo! I’ll fix. I meant HE.
  5. Wiseman, yes… I would like to date this person. His heart appears to be very genuine and kind… it’s certainly caught my attention in a big way.
  6. He barely charges me anything, it’s a silly low amount…which is really odd. He charges people way more than me normally. He’s “forgotten” to invoice before also, which I remind him. I thought about the money thing to, but I honestly don’t feel he needs my money. Hmm. But still a consideration.
  7. I am considered attractive, but I’m super humble and shy about this. And yes I take lessons from him. He has invited me to his shows also bc he knows how much I love that kind of thing. I am going to invite him to some of my sporting events I partake in to see if he shows interest.
  8. I’m in an unusual situation (for me anyway). I’ve found myself crushing on someone I’ve known for a while (about 1.5 years)—we started doing music lessons on zoom and when vaccinations came about we started doing in person lessons (masks on). He comes over to my house since I have the space and ability for louder volumes. We bonded well during Covid, and we get a long really well. Things got even more fun and awesome in person. We jam together, then hang out for HOURS after. Sometimes when he comes over he stays for 6-7 hours!! No joke. We can talk and talk, fun topics to sad ones. There was one point we did a zoom lesson while I was traveling and it was a 5 hour hang out. When I visit him at his shop, she treats me so well and special. We gave each other birthday gifts for each of our birthdays. We text somewhat regularly, but not too crazy with that. When we talk on the phone, which is sometimes a couple days out of the week, it’s usually no less than an hour, but up to 3! I am in my early 40s, he's mid 50s. We are like big kids together. It’s fun and feels super safe and so nice! He is very polite to me also. He has said flirty things, makes jokes all the time (always makes me laugh), I have too, and I have seen the “sparkle eye” with him if you know what I mean. Ha! Its been a little confusing though, bc for his bday I offered to take him out for drinks and he said he was going to have a low key night, but then did a small music gig last minute when he was invited out to that. He sent tons of selfies that night and really over explained himself. I think he felt guilty? I’m cool with whatever he wants to do, but thought it was odd he did that. A week later I visited him at his shop, we chatted after his work for an hour before I said I need a coffee. He said he had a 4 o’clock but told me to follow him to show me where a coffee shop was. Before I knew it he was parking. I asked if his 4pm was here, and he said yes, “my 4 o’clock is at this coffee shop.” Apparently I was his 4pm appointment. We tail gated (being safe with Covid outside) for a few hours and sipped coffee and watched funny youtube videos. Anyway we see each other usually once a week for our lesson and always hang out after. Like I said the texting isn’t too crazy, he’s not a big texter, better on the phone or in person. I’m unclear what to do here other than enjoy this friendship, which has been really great. He has soul, super smart and empathic. I kinda sense he might not want to risk ruining things, I don’t either. I really value this human. Another thing too, about 6 months ago I got out of an abusive relationship (verbally not physically), and my friend was one of the first to know… and was actually super supportive of me. I have gone to therapy for this also, and feel the healthiest I’ve ever been! I wonder if he may be playing this slow also, because of the timing. Again, shows respect if anything here (maybe caution also, again that’s ok). Seeking insight on this. I normally don’t find myself with such soulful humans, it’s a blessing. For now, one day at a time as I enjoy this beautiful life 🙂 thanks all!!
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