Chad4572

Maybe—though I thought the night went fine. The texting hasn’t been great—I’ve not heard from him since noon—so maybe you’re right. We had plans scheduled for the end of the week.

Very honest and fair—thank you. I am trying to decide if I need to just exit this for his sake and mine bc of anxiety. But all of this helpful, seriously thanks.

We had a talk before we both left about being exclusive—not seeing other people and whatnot. I just had wondered if things had change. I meant to ask during the night but it was also the first time back. I didn’t want to bombard and I was also having a nice time. I wanted to ask him what he meant when he said boyfriend bc I was under the assumption he didn’t want labels bc the conversation before he said “I don’t me to put labels in anything but..”

UPDATE: we did end up meeting up for an event yesterday night. His roommate came, we left early for food, and came back to my place where we basically ate then jumped each other bc of the two weeks apart. We both said we missed the other and he even asked if I told my family about him (I did) and he was like oooh they now know you have a bf—and we’ve never used labels. He stayed the night and it was all fine until he left in the morning and said “I’ll see you soon”—I’ve always been under the assumption this was guy talk for “I’m not interested but I’m trying to be nice”. And he said it at least twice. I’m trying schedule a session with my therapist to discuss my anxieties around this, but this is a bad sign right? He’s always made concrete plans before this. I get I’m too needy but I guess I’m trying to see if I can even talk to him about this and maybe get some answers or if I just need to take the L and let this fizzle.

Nahh, we never made plans to see each other after this. He just asked if we were exclusively dating before he left. But you are right, do not know him well enough to make assumptions.

These comments are helpful! The texts are still few and far between, and it will be another week before either of us can see each other F2F. I’m now on a last minute work trip and want to enjoy myself and not wonder if I’ll hear from him. I know “feelings are facts” but I just feel like this dating-thing is losing steam and though I really like him, I just can’t handle the inconsistent communication. When he does respond, he’s sweet and (sometimes) explains why he was MIA but I wonder if they’re excuses or if he feels obligated to msg. I like him, things were good, but if it’s over then it’s over and I would like to throw in the towel but I also would like to hang in and see if things get better once I get back from CA. Am I still paranoid?

I started seeing this guy and it’s been pretty good from the start! We were consistently texting and seeing each other about 2x a week for the last month. During that time, we had established that we both liked for this to continue and we stopped talking to other people. Ive met his friends and he’s even told his mom about me, which I thought was a bit fast but we both felt similar so I went with it. Before he left on vacation, he asked if we were exclusive (mentioned bf/gf but I can’t remember exactly how the convo went) and said he wanted to know if “we were really doing this” before we both left for vacation. I said yes and left the date feeling happy but confused—are we exclusive like bf/gf or are we just dating? My problem is that I come a very complicated background and have major trust issues due to toxic relationships and emotionally unavailable parents. I’m working on these issues but I still get caught up in my feelings and whiles he’s been on vacation I feel like maybe things are starting to drift a part. Our texts have been few and far in between and it feels like I’m bugging him. We FaceTimed a few days ago for maybe 15mins (he’s not a big FT person) and though it was awkward I let him know it was really nice to see him and I appreciated the effort to which he responded that we needed to do more of those in the next few weeks while we’re away. But the texting now seems a little forced—I feel like I’m bugging him and I kinda feel like he’s losing interest in me (maybe bc of texting or just bc now we’re not near each other there’s no appeal? Idk). We’ll go 4-6hrs without a response and my attempts to flirt seem to fall flat and when I back track I’m afraid it comes off as passive aggressive and he gets annoyed. One night a texted me late saying he fell asleep on the couch, but I could tell he saw my Instagram stories I posted that night—I don’t care that he was on SM and not texting but the lie (it feels like a lie) sort of threw me off guard. Since things happened a little fast for us, I’m wondering if maybe now that we’re apart, he’s losing interest and slowly backing off. Some days it feels like I should just send him a text and say “hey it’s cool, we can call this off” and just be done with it but I’m afraid I’m making all these worried up in my head and that he’s fine with everything. I know there’s nothing I can do to make someone stay interest but I also don’t want to ruin a good thing if there’s nothing wrong. Am I being paranoid?