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  1. I have a friend who I've known for a long time, maybe 6 years, we go to the same school. I've had a crush on her for 4 years and this year we really started to get close. She is a girl and so am I (we are both lgbtq+). I talked to her everyday for almost 6 months. She'd always give me cute compliments and seek out my attention so I was sure she had a crush on me back. Note: She is Jewish and I have nothing against Jews but was curious if she supported Israel. I am middle eastern and will always back up Palestine so someone supporting Israel is a big no-no for me. When I asked her if she supports Israel she didn't answer my question directly and then didn't respond to me. This led me to believe she supported Israel, as she did not deny it. During the next day at school she ignored me completely, which is very out of the usual for us. I texted her on her bull*** but she instead said that she's angry I would drop her if she supported Israel and called me closed minded. When I responded back she said I hurt her and that she needs space. We did not talk to each other for a month and would actively avoid one another. I, being very impatient and missing her texts asked if we could talk. I do not think I was in the wrong but I've had a crush on her for so long and did not want out friendship to end. I texted her a lengthy apology taking accountability of all the things I said to hurt her, (or what she says I did to hurt her) I admitted to all my "mistakes" and asked if we could not be awkward with each other anymore and hopefully become like how we used to be. She texted back thanking me for what I said but then went on to say that she has family in Israel and that If I wanted to drop her I should. She also did not address the part where she said she would continue being friends with someone even if they were racist and said that it's not fair the way i'm treating her and its unfortunate the way this has played out. I didn't want to drop her. I wanted to rebuild our friendship and I still maybe did have a crush on her. After all, she did say she didn't support a lot of things within Israel itself and didn't support either countries. As long as she doesnt support Israel it was fine with me. I texted her back and she didn't respond. It's been 3 days. I also think she BLOCKED ME? All my texts do not say delivered. I am aware I am down bad for her but she IS SO PRETTY AND KIND. I don't know how to fix this. My school ends next Friday and since I'm still blocked (for some reason) I will not be able to text her. Anyone know how to help and fix this? I know I messed up and did something wrong but is it all my fault?
  2. I know this is a bit of of a weird and unusual situation but bear with me please. Just right before the COVID pandemic started, I went to a friend's Birthday party and I met this engaged polyamorous couple. I'll call them Rick and Jodie. They added me on Facebook and I started chatting to them mainly on Facebook Messenger. They weren't really friends but more like acquaintances. I only hung out with them once at their place watching horror movies and went to a couple of their parties. I think I also saw them at some events or other people's parties. They also invited me to their engagement party but due to many strict COVID lockdowns in my city, they had to reschedule the engagement party three times. This may also be kind of relevant to what I'll say later. Jodie really struggles with some mental health and physical health issues. She was sexually abused as a child by her Uncle and has Disassociative Identity Disorder (multiple personalities), depression, anxiety. Rick is on the autism spectrum. A bit over two years after meeting Rick and Jodie, I met Colin* who is now my partner of a few months. I did know him in the past a long time ago but briefly and then lost touch. So one time I was scrolling Facebook even before Colin and I were dating and I saw through Facebook photos on Colin's profile that he actually used to be married to Jodie. I saw their wedding photos and so on. I talked to Jodie about it and she said that Colin is such a good guy, she only has good things to say about him and now he's like a brother and good friend to her. They separated five years ago and Colin said he sees her as a good friend and family too. They were together for quite a number of years and I know through Colin that they had a lot of issues due to Jodie's bad mental health and she also cheated on him. I didn't care though because it's nothing to do with me. I wasn't jealous they're friends coz I could see it was well over and I'm friends with one of my ex's as well. Anyway this brings to the current issue. Jodie and Rick just recently had their engagement party. Jodie actually invited Colin to come and said we should go together as a couple. She asked Colin on his way there to pick up two of her friends/guests and also to drive them home at the end. Which he did and it added like at least an extra 45 minutes onto his trip home. Which was already at least a one hour drive. I wasn't actually able to come to the engagement party because I was really unwell. I'll also add that Colin and Jodie weren't officially divorced because Jodie had promised to pay for the divorce and do the paperwork, but she never did. Recently she did finally put it all through, with push from Colin and Rick's parents. Anyway so the other day I get this message on Facebook from Rick: "Just need to bring something up. Hope you're doing okay, we missed you at the engagement party. We would still love for you to attend our wedding if available. However, if you want to bring a plus one, we just want to ask you not to bring Colin. Because of his history with Jodie, I feel it may make people uncomfortable, as it did make a few people uncomfortable with him being at the engagement party. So you are welcome to bring someone else, but yeah, it might be for the best Colin doesn't come to the wedding. Sorry to make things awkward, we just think it's for the best as we want our special day to be drama-free as possible. Colin was telling people at the engagement party that he is Jodie's soon-to-be ex husband which made people feel uncomfortable. And it really upsetted one person who wanted to confront Colin after he said that. So that's why it's best for Colin not to be at the wedding. We are happy with you coming but we don't want him there. Hope you are doing okay and Jodie and I are sending love and support your way." I asked what should I tell Colin? And Rick just said: "Well you can tell him whatever but we don't want him there". I want to add also that Colin also has high functioning autism but he's the sweetest and nicest guy. In fact he's too nice and soft. Colin's perception of the engagement party was that it went really well and he said he had a great time and everything was good. He also gave Rick and Jodie a nice card with a really nice message. I agree maybe he shouldn't have said he was Jodie's ex husband but a very large number of people already knew. Jodie's parents and a lot of Jodie's friends and family who were at their wedding knew anyway. Of course this is their wedding and it's their choice so all I said was: "OK I will tell Colin this" and I told him. I'm going to be honest though, I'm feeling really angry. Jodie is meant to be Colin's good friend and like family still but she didn't even message him herself. Also they put me in a really uncomfortable position, making me tell Colin and putting me in the middle. This is also after Colin had been wonderful to Jodie throughout their marriage and even afterwards. And he picked up some of their party guests and drove them home. I'm feeling like I should just not go to their wedding? But Colin also told me that Rick's parents are traditional and they're paying for the wedding, so Colin thought maybe it was the parents that also felt uncomfortable about Jodie's ex husband being there. Don't get me wrong, I have no intention to question or challenge their decision. I'm just wondering if I should do what I have control over.. And that is not to go to their wedding.
  3. Since more than 1 week, my friend is really mad at me and don’t want to talk to me for now. I did a lot of wrong thing, I was too attached to her….I said things about other people that I shouldn’t tell, my behavior towards her but also towards my other friends chocked her. I am not a good person… she did a lot of things for me…and I didn’t know how to say her thank you. I love her a lot and she feels like I love her TOO much. It’s really recent, I wrote a lot of letter drafts that I will give her in a future but I don’t know when. It’s now too recent to give her and come to talk to her. I feel so miserable and guilty, because it’s my fault. I hate my uncontrollable feelings and words ruining everything like it often did. I feel bad because I hurt her and the others and I maybe lost one of my dearest friend. we spent good moments together….Why should I do? I feel so bad…see her distant and angry makes me sad…and mad at me. should I wait to ask her to maybe chat but out of school, just the two of us? How much time it will takes for her to calm down…She doesn’t hate me actually, she is just mad and angry…. I feel like she is hesitant talking to me sometimes, she stares at me or walk by me when she thinks I don’t see her and then leave after hesitated a moment. Maybe she is sad and lost too? Maybe she feels like she was too rude…I don’t know… i know she loves me, or used to..she talked to me like a sister…I ruined everything…I try to becoming a better person now…but it’s hard. any advices ?
  4. Hi everyone, hope you're all having a great day. Well, I have never quite investigated or properly put my thoughts into words about this so I'm going to try my best, sorry if it's too long or confusing. I'm basically constantly in conflict of what I want, most of the time I'm completely fine by myself and can't be bothered, then the next day I want to make friends, cycle repeats. Then again I mostly limit my interactions online as I moved a while ago and I really don't want to get to know the places around with covid and all, besides I think that's beyond the point since this also happened while I had irl friends anyway. Okay so, with both online and irl friendships (not interested in romantic relationships at all) I always start with this huge energy boost where we constantly talk with each other, message each other, talk about lots of stuff like hobbies, favorite movies, music, all that stuff and it's great! Honestly I do love getting to know people, it's heartwarming. Here's the thing tho, it's like this is a separate version of myself, I often find myself wishing to be back to the "regular" which is minding my own business by myself. Let me try to explain as best as I can. My personality has changed a lot through the years, mostly after learning actual value of friendships, ditching toxic people and overall figuring things out and growing up. Last 7 or 8 years have been a self improvement path that I'm quite proud of, but this is basically what hasn't changed. I fluctuate a lot between wanting to make friends (and actually trying) and minding my own business with zero things bothering me. I think I can't find a balance between both, sooner or later talking and keeping up with friends becomes a huge chore that quite honestly annoys me and often have to retreat into my "selfish self" for a while without any explanation. Legit writing even a short text or giving any explanation, or coming up with one feels like an impossible task even tho I can be working my butt off at the same time, it feels like a huge energy drain to keep up with friends sometimes and it makes me feel stressed and sometimes it combines with stress from work or being tired and my willingness to work out that friendship becomes impossible to deal with. I don't really know why I'm like this, I'm just curious, really. I'd like to find a proper balance and keep friendships for longer, I want I avoid forgetting to reply or even ghosting people accidentally or purposefully. Don't get me wrong I do actually like talking and getting to know people a lot, even tho I'm an introvert I managed to improve this a lot, and still, at some point I just no longer have the energy to keep up. Combined to this, I may also be VERY picky with what kind of people I want to be friends with, I usually avoid A LOT of people with what I consider lame or toxic behaviours, I think I judge lot but never have to say it because I simply don't chase anything with these people, it's simple. I usually avoid people that are overly toxic and loud, people that only wait their paycheck desperately so they can get drunk every week, people who just call you when they need you, and overall just people that don't seem interested in a stronger sense of friendship like I do. It's fine, we all can choose right? I mean maybe my personality might be unlikable to other people too, but what I find most attractive in people is their personality so it's a huge deal for me, and I know being picky and so indecisive about wanting to make friends aren't exactly good personality traits. I do get complimented a lot, my nowadays me is nothing like before! But I have yet another issue on top of the stated above. I also feel like often friendships go nowhere, they eventually turn into boring chit chat everytime or meaningless conversations, not sure if there's someone at fault here o just think it happens naturally but don't know why. Lastly, maybe my expectations or idea or friendship are flawed or unrealistic? Maybe I don't know. If I'm being honest, I don't think I've had a real friend yet, and I just turned 25. I've lost friends or ended friendships mostly when the other person betrays me or something, if there's something I'm good at when dealing with people is dropping my interest, ghosting or ending the friendship very efficiently and with zero remorse or second thoughts really, when people use me or betray me I just no longer feel anything towards them and lose all interest, also I'm too tired after work to involve into any drama haha! I know MBTI might be silly to a lot and to be honest it kinda is to me now, but if it helps as any insight, I'm INTJ. Sorry if this was a bit long and confusing, like I said before I wasn't very sure how to write down se thoughts into words properly. I'm just wondering if this is at least somewhat common or known, I'm very good at many things but at this type of stuff I'm clueless!
  5. This probably isn't a big deal in the grand scheme of things but I just wanted to get everyone's opinion. I'm in a group of four very close friends that I've known for twenty years. We are all 36/37 and one is 43 years old. Ever since COVID started in March 2020 here in Australia, the four of us have been chatting in our group chat, occasionally video calling and regularly watching movies virtually. By virtually I mean we play a movie at the same time on our own devices and we chat about it all through the movie on Facebook Messenger by typing in the chat. One of the women in the group, S, who is 43 is obsessed with Japanese and Korean culture and TV shows. So I saw that there's this new TV mini series that just came out on Netflix called Squid Game and it's Korean. I suggested to the girls to watch it and some of my reasoning behind it also because I knew that S loves Korean shows and movies. I said that we can just try the show and see what we think. We agreed we would try it and if we didn't like it we didn't have to watch. We watched three episodes virtually but I'd never seen any Korean show or movie before and don't understand any Korean. With us constantly chatting in the Facebook Messenger chat, I couldn't see the subtitles and I was also getting confused with all the characters' Korean names because I really wasn't used to hearing Korean names. I did actually say all this to my friends. I got something wrong about the characters and told them and they all seemed to understand it and I was the only one that didn't. I also asked if we could watch two episodes of the show at the same time but they said that sometimes they might be able to watch two but usually it'd be one. The show has nine episodes so we're talking about virtually watching this show for like two months coz they basically wanted to watch once a week or so. I know it was wrong but I actually went ahead and watched the whole series by myself. But I was still going to watch it with my friends as well and I was going to chat about it. I loved the show so was even looking forward to watching it again. I actually honestly didn't think it was going to be that big of an issue and I wanted to be honest with my friends. I admitted to them I'd seen it and I explained my reasons why. Two of them said "that's fair enough" sort of thing. We started watching and watched one episode. Then S says she's really not enjoying it because of me and she's really disappointed because I've already seen it. She said she didn't want to keep watching it with us and just wanted to watch alone. I apologised profusely and said I completely understood she was angry but there was no reason not to keep watching together. I said I still wanted to keep watching and I was enjoying it. Anyway she said no and that she will just watch it alone. Then she basically stopped talking in the chat all together. She did say: "As you know, I'm really passionate about Korean shows so maybe I'm over reacting". She spoke to me quite coldly and then she just stopped participating in the chat. I apologised that I suggested a foreign movie with subtitles but that was only because we'd never actually watched a foreign movie or show virtually before. I could be wrong but in my personal opinion she did over react. I don't exactly understand why it wasn't possible to keep watching together still because I still wanted to keep watching and chatting about the show. She watches Korean shows and movies 24/7 and can even speak some Korean and Japanese. Whereas it was my first time watching anything Korean and I did explain that. I could have said upfront that I couldn't understand it with typing on Messenger at the same time and couldn't keep watching and then I imagine we would all stop watching it anyway. But I didn't actually want to do that and wanted to continue watching the show together but I wanted to actually understand it. I think she's acting a bit over the top. It's totally fine to say she's annoyed at me but to literally stop watching the show and stop talking in the chat in my opinion is over reacting. And especially as my friends know that yesterday I was in a car accident which wasn't my fault. A guy smashed into the back of my car really hard and the whole back bumper came off. He stopped and I took photos of his number plate. He gave his mobile number but afterwards refused to give any of his details for my insurance company (he didn't have insurance). So I couldn't do my insurance claim without his details so I had to go to the police and go through the trouble of them chasing him. I really don't understand what is the big deal about this show. Am I missing something or am I wrong?
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