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Feelinghurt91

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  1. He didn't say he wants to stop but I think admitting to me he had the addiction might have been an incredibly obscure way to see if I had any suggestions for him. I was still trying to process what he had told me and so unfortunately I was in support/listening mode instead of a solving mode.
  2. Thank you for your reply. Since it was just brought up yesterday I needed time to process it and haven't been able to discuss treatment or anything with him yet, I know it could be really beneficial though.
  3. Thank you for your words, it really has taken a huge toll on my self esteem and worth. Very helpful to hear what an outsider sees in this situation, makes me feel a little less crazy honestly.
  4. We don't live together but we are together every day. I really don't think he could be cheating... seems like too much effort on his part to be honest. Truly the words of a wiseman lol thank you for your advice and input. It helps to see it from that perspective, if I really am his soulmate then why is he still carrying on that way?
  5. Looking for advice but also needing to vent and let out some of the hurt. My bf and I are going on 3 years together, we're both 30. We haven't been truly intimate in almost a year. I'm open with him about how it hurts me and how I don't feel like he's still attracted to me even though he says he is. I try to initiate intimacy but it gets met with changing the subject, moving away from me, putting focus on something in the room like the TV or the dog, making jokes. I've lost track of how many times we've fought over it and I end up depressed, feeling worse while he makes empty promises that he'll make an effort to try more. But he never does. Then yesterday he told me he has a p**n addiction and he thinks it's easier to handle himself that way than to actually involve me in it. Ouch. I don't have an issue with him watching it, hell, I watch it, but my heart hurts that he would rather do that than to make an effort with me. And he didn't seem bothered to tell me. (I'd also like to point out that during past intimate moments I'm very involved so it's not like I'm asking for an arm or a leg). He tells me often that I'm his soul mate and he would do anything for me but this issue is still so prevalent and no action actually gets taken to work on it. It's like all the effort that gets put into avoiding it could be put into actually working on it...ugh. I hate to admit it but I consider cheating on him a lot, but I know that I just want the feeling of being wanted by someone and it wouldn't be anything of substance... but I really want that feeling again... Idk I feel like I'm losing it and wanting to throw in the towel. Intimacy isn't everything in a relationship and I understand that but it's one of the ways I enjoy connecting with my partner and I thought he did too and it wasn't an issue before. I know addiction isn't personal but I can't help but feel self conscious... is it my body? My hair? Do I smell bad? Is my conversation a turn off? Really does have me looking in the mirror different... thanks cardi. Any advice for this hurting person? Anyone been through something similar? 💔😔
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