Kwothe28

Its a sensitive topic so I wouldnt go around too much into her state of mind. But will go into yours Why do you allow this? You realize you didnt do anything wrong? After that she should be begging you to even give her the time of the day. Instead, what did you do? Jumped at the first chance to take her back. Let me guess its because "you love her"? If she ever thought how you feel she wouldnt go without explanation. Ever. Also, even after all that she cut conversation off. Thus proving once more how much she doesnt care for you. And you are still hoping she will grace you with her presence and somehow take you back. Again, do you realize its her that needs to be begging you, not the other way around? She just wants to feel less bad for going away. She doesnt care about reconciliation at all. You shouldnt allow her that. And yet you still do. So again I am asking why? Grow a spine, dont allow her to stomp you like that. Even if you reconcile she will never respect you enough. If she did respect you she wouldnt leave without explanation in the first place.

I wouldnt take the words of some girl you even dont know at face value. Lots of times people in our lives project, even are malicious on purpose. Especially if you got into beef with her. Anyway, I do agree that you dont know yourself that much. Otherwise you wouldnt question yourself that much(its fine that you do I think everybody should from time to time but you should know yourself better) or dont change your patterns that you think are bad(as we talked on previous thread). And that you should go to therapy to talk to somebody professional.

For texting instead of calling? No, if you said that you will hear from each other, it really doesnt matter unless the thing you talked specifically required a call. He just overreacts. It would be another thing if you said that you will get into contact with him specifically then but you didnt. But you did make contact so dunno how it changes if its phone and not text. Just how much is he prone to overreaction? Because this is a severe one. Meaning something really not normal. If I would have to guess it "rubbed" him the wrong way because he somehow thought it was disrespectful. But again, I really dont see how and this is on him, not you. When we get attached too much then we take even smaller things like this at face value. You mentioned unreciprocitated romantic feelings so its maybe that. What he did is not really healthy. And you shouldnt tolerate that kind of incidents.

I had a girl with similar issue. Hers manifested around exam time. No matter how hard me and even her friends tried to support, no matter how much she was ready for exam, she started to panick and vomited before exam. Every exam she had. That is something that goes from the head. And its not going to go until you realize that its just dates and that you need to relax. And, that is likely to persist like that unless you treat it. That means therapy.

He clearly goes out of the way to talk to you and knew trying to add your cousin will cause the reaction. Dont succumb to that, just ignore him.

Are you sure you are not "self sabotaging" yourself? You know when something starts going nicely so you are seeking excuses how something must be wrong? I am not saying you do that or that your fears arent realistic. Because that seems like a very serious accusation and something that shouldnt be dismissed. Just that you dont really know what happened or not. But still see it as a reason to run away. You have a chance to know her so do that. At the end of the day, even ask her down the line if it progresses. Be cautious, that is for sure, there is no need to rush.

I dunno how to tell you this differently so I am going to be blunt: To the girls that like you, you can do anything. Send flowers, sing under window, send love letters, heck even professing your love in public and they will find it cute. To the girls that dont like you, all those gestures of love are not cute. They are pathetic to them. Simply because they dont come from the right person. You are in a friendzone, you are not the right person to her. You sending that will make her think about you as a pathetic person. Dont send that. And move on from somebody like that.

She really told you that you are trying too hard to make a meeting happened? The Lion, The Witch and the audacity... Nobody is that busy that they cant even see you. I understand the job, kid and everything, but if she wants to see you she would fit you in her schedule as she did before. She just wont. Its an indication that she just doesnt want to see you from some reason. Now you may ask why she just doesnt break up things then? Well, some people like attention. And she probably doesnt have much time to date in general so you orbiting around her suits her until she finds somebody else. There is somebody to listen to her, to give kind words etc. Problem is, that doesnt suit you, you want more. And in a situations where your needs arent met, you should just turn around and try to find somebody else who would be a better fit.

After this and this you should have just go away. There is no seriousness there and she will never accept you as somebody to be in a relationship with. At best you are there until somebody else comes along. Have some dignity and pull away from there. Or are you just hoping she will "finally realize that you are the best prospect around" and be with you? If she thinks that she would be with you. Not telling you penly how she wants other people.

I would pressume its just maybe troling but who knows... We got jealousy, him planning next meating and asking about commitment. It might as well be about the same thing lol. Anyway, I wouldnt pressume that somebody wants the future just because they talk about their stuff and what they do. Its just talking about their stuff. Unless its specific future with you involved like "I will get the job in different city and want you to come with me" or "want you to move in" or something like that.

Mea culpa, didnt see "bi" part until later lol Still stand that she needs boundaries.

Block her? You do know that you dont have to talk to anyone who you dont want to? Especially when they basically harass you. Because what you described is sexual harassment. Just say to her you are not comfortable with continuing whatever you guys have and block her. You are clearly unable to put the boundaries there so this is the way not to bother you again. Also, why would you ever get drunk with somebody like that? You need to have your boundaries and not cave to pressure. If she demanded to jump to the well would you do it? OK you are a male, its not that hard to coax us into sex. But man, at least have some will to say "No" when it comes to somebody like that lol

I dunno, with all due respect, seems to me that both of you are very crude. Yes, she didnt offer apology but she did offer to pay for the damages her animal did. But somehow its not enough because she should have apologized and you have to go to troubles of cashing her check? Do you even see how both of you have troubles expressing yourself better and being "stuck ups" toward each other? Would her offering an apology made you feel better to, for example, forgive her bunny for eating your bag? Or would you still demand monetary compensation? Which she did offer btw What I am trying to say is that we cant always have our way. Especially in a situations where its really not her fault her bunny eat through your things. Which you should be careful because you were sitting and your friend wasnt even there so its really not her fault. She offered to pay, take her on that offer. There is really no need to blow all this out of proportions just because you want an apology. Dont get me wrong, apology would be nice thing to do. But again, both of you are crude so take her on the money and put it behind you.

Sorry but I have to because of the title https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YxaaGgTQYM Anyway, if its a frequent thing, you might want to get that checked in with psychologist or somebody else that is licensed to make a diagnosis. Because "cant make yourself out of bed" could be a possible sign of depression.

My condolences to you and your family Seraphim. May he rest in peace.

Have you been here with the same story before? Because it looks familiar... Also it wasnt love, it was a simple infatuation. You are a teenager and had a crush that didnt turn up to be your girlfriend. Its not a big deal, you did right if you didnt continue that friendship and just moved on. She just wanted friendship and maybe somebody to take her out. Never believe when they say they are not sure and that they dont know what that is. Yes they are sure, they just wont tell you. Dream is just a dream, maybe you thought subcounciously about her. Its not a big deal if you moved on from that situation. Focus on what you have in front of you aka your girlfriend. Not on some random girl that you wont even remember in a few years and that doesnt mean anything in your life right now.

This. I feel sorry for the guy, you did one sentence about him and the whole story about some doofus who ghosted you. He deserves better then somebody who pines over someone else. Also, are you really surprised that somebody who ghosted you doesnt really care about you and just asks how are you doing for pleasantry sake? Yes, he gets to move on because he doesnt care. Accept that, be angry about it, anything you need. But get it in your head that he just doesnt care. And that you should change your behavior accordingly. That means no talks other then maybe "Hi" when you accidentaly see him and under no circumstances taking him back for sex or anything else.

First off, NC doesnt work when you "stalk" her social media. Block her or just dont watch them at all. Second off all, too many issues. Your mental health, both of you unable to support even yourself etc. So I suggest working on yourself. Lay off video games aside of maybe as a hobby. Use that time to work on yourself. Mainly putting more time to find work. Invest yourself more there in any means necessery, search for jobs, send CVs, go to interviews. That is your primary concern and that is what you should be doing instead of stalking her socials. Also, I might add, somebody who talks in her social media about masturbation, smoking weed and video games, is not really a good match to anyone who is serious about settling down. But again, you will first need to put on the work on yourself first and then you will maybe see that also.

I dunno, I think you did you did rather fine. Had two nice dates, had something going on, have third soon etc. Relax and see how it goes. As an overthinker myself, well, you never know stuff like that until you meet someone better, but, as you said you met her online, I think there is a good chance you are not the only one providing her with dates. Until you both are serious about each other, doubt she doesnt date. In general, again, until it becomes serious, always assume you are probably not the only one. So her getting colder is maybe about that. But again, I would wait for Wednesday and see her behavior then. Also, I dont think you were to forward with wanting her to maybe spend some time at your place. Though I do think that you are maybe too much caught up in texts. No need to "bombard" her every day. Texts are meaningless sometimes, maybe better to just call her if you really want to talk and relly more on what happens on dates then if she answered some text forrmally or was engaging more.

I was wondering what kind of a husband would specifically require you to do 50% no matter how much you earn and not budge about it. Then I read about Japanese roots and everything went pretty clear lol. I love japanese culture. But yes, they are like that sometimes. Very crude about stuff, very traditional, even your remark how he said he is very critical and doesnt want to change that, is something so ordinary for them. I am sorry that happened, hoping you will find a better life now for you and your sons sake.

I would agree with this. Though youtube is unreliable now in terms of income, there are many so called "experts" giving advices through it. Many of them for free if you dont count that youtube income. And a lot of them are very successful. No offense to people here, but Forums and emails are a dying breed today. Its all social networks in terms of advertisement and money through it. Even though people today are paying for a lot of things, dont think you would have somebody pay you 20 bucks so you would answer their email. What are your qualifications? Are you an expert on anything in particular like maybe dating? Do you already have a network of people who would watch or pay for what you want to say? People do it for free for years before they maybe make something successful and other people notice them. Then you can maybe start asking for cash. You can always set up a Patreon before you monetize channel. But again, nothing guarantees that you will one day have a network of people ready to pay for your stuff.

I dont really think you did anything wrong. Except that you ignored the red flag that should have told you exactly how she is. She is an "infatuation" type. That means she hits with emotions and yes "love bombing" quickly. But also means she gets "cold" fast because she gets dissapointed in other person. That "disapointment" doesnt need to be anything that you did wrong, just that you didnt return her affection properly. That could be as small as "You didnt leave everything, hop on next flight and visit me when I was worried about my medical issue" small. I had one like that, trust me, its not pretty and those reason why they get disapointed are really dumb sometimes. Though I could say the same about you and that card. You were thoughtful and send a card, its up to her if she appreciates it or not, no need to remind her. Dont do that. Also, dont chase, its not a pretty sight and it doesnt really get you anything. Reciprocitate as much as she is, if she is cold dont pressure anything, dont ignore her but dont try to get more warmer reaction also. Though I think that sadly she is already on her way out by her behavior.

I know, I did my own with my professional work and taking care of children with special needs a while ago. My comment was more in the line of that lots of people, kids or no kids of their own, arent ready for that role change. My friend has a "godmother"(here in some cases you take your best friend as godmother or godfather for the wedding). Anyway, her godmother is exactly the case we are talking about here. Was always "full of life", married young after high school and got the kid few years after that. But never been able to fully accept the role as a mother. She goes to work, goes to drinks with colleagues after, goes to gym, goes in bars every weekend with friends, lives that full life. The kid? Its either in kindergarden, or with dad, or in most cases gets thrown with grandparents that extremely spoiled him. She maybe has a marriage, and a kid, but acts like she doesnt have them most of the time. Those are exactly the types that would give you "OMG dont ever lose yourself" advice. Just so we are clear, I am not saying that she should be some "stay at home, look the kid 24/7" kind of mom. I think its extremely important for both sides to have more then just family life, which would include work, hobbies, even going out with friends. Just that having a family and especially kids requires certain "sacrifices". Your life changes and so is your schedule. Times that you had for yourself before are indeed replaced and you have to adapt if you are going to be a true partner and parent.

I think lots of people "crave" about what they once were. After you get the kid your life naturally changes in a big way. There is no that much "you" time and suddenly your whole life gets transformed. You are not just somebody who just needs to take care of his/her own needs, you need to take care of your kid in a big way. So suddenly, there is not much time for hobbies, training, even more simple stuff like seeing friends or going out. While the marriage and kids arent the dead of those things, you get way less time for them. So, some people after a while start to crave for the person they once was. Not realizing that they are that person but, as everything else in life, their role changes after a while. We are not the same persons we were in our 20s, 30s, 40s etc. Our roles over time are subjected to change. Some people arent ready for that when it comes to parent role, some do it but then crave their past and some accept it as natural progression. Those who crave are usually the ones with stories like "OMG never lose your identity, you need to stay the same, it would be so wrong if you lose yourself".

Good for you its not "lamb day". 😄 Happy Thanksgiving to all Americans!!!!