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savignon last won the day on February 22 2014

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About savignon

  • Birthday 01/30/1976

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  1. I would say if he can easily disappear for 2 weeks at a time, that's not a "relationship". Out of sight-out of mind is not the basis for a healthy and stable getting-to-know-you period either. I'd move on.
  2. The mainstream suggestion is to a) handwrite it (as opposed to email) and b) not send it. If you knew you could stop yourself from engaging if he write back, it's up to you to send it. For me I would get sooo confident that it was my "last email" and then he'd say something that pushed the right button and days later we were still emailing and I hadn't moved one step forward. Ugh.
  3. Even if he does regret it, he likely won't reach out to you 2, 5, 10 or more years from now to tell you so it's not helpful to think about. For me it's been freeing to realize that I'm no longer responsible for how an ex turns out (not that I ever was but I've led myself to believe that). I believe all my exes and I were meant to meet for mutually beneficial reasons and I know exactly what the reasons have been relative to my journey. If they figure out for themselves what I was supposed to bring to their journey or not is irrelevant to me. And for anyone who has ever treated me poorly, I truly don't care and am not invested in how their life turns out (although I wish them well from a spiritual standpoint). The exception is my ex husband ....I truly hope his life turns around and he finds happiness and I am invested in that outcome because we have a child together. Decide what your "take aways" from the relationship were and say them to him (not to actually him but maybe to his picture out loud or in a letter). Then say anything else you want to say, wish him well, say your goodbye and burn it (the letter/picture/whatever). It's very cathartic.
  4. I can see why the vegan thing would be an issue like any other major difference in lifestyle. As you said its working for you and keeps you feeling/looking young and healthy-good for you! Are there any vegan-ish meetup groups or things where you might meet some people who really have the same mind and spirit around living a healthy lifestyle like that? Sounds like you're doing REALLY well online....impressive run so far...keep enjoying!!
  5. OMG-Thank you!! I opened my computer hoping something would make me stop sooobbbbbing and this did it. Perfect timing. You're amazing and thank you for paying it forward!! *hugs* Sav
  6. If he disrespected you and hurt you in the past, it's not surprising he'd do it again. If he's doing it to "peak your curiosity" it's working! You're sitting around wondering, writing about it, talking to friends about it....probably that's exactly why he did it. (For the reaction/satisfaction of knowing there would be a reaction).
  7. Or you could contact him if you really wanted to..... Agree with the "Take the bull by the horns" attitude.....it's 2011!! Do something different!!
  8. Does he have your contact info (like phone #/email)? You say "when he serves you"....is he a waiter? Is that the only context you know him in? He might have a policy not to ask out customers...??
  9. With all of your wife's misgivings about the marriage, unhappiness and willing to engage in online "pretend sex", it was probably not as difficult as it may sound to have "manipulated" her. I would hold both parties equally accountable and if it were *my* husband in your shoes, he would find just the virtual sex alone 100% unacceptable and I would find myself 100% living in my car. At some point, she got up from her computer and made a decision to betray your marriage.
  10. Gorgeous!! I love the colors you chose in the first one.
  11. You are already in a marriage with this man, so it's not going to do you any good to hear that you "shouldn't commit" to him. You have commited to him. If the relationship feels good and right to you, then you'll have to work on taking other people's opinions with a grain of salt, because that wil not likely stop as your age gap will seem more upsetting to the people who love you as he gets older. If you are, however, concerned yourself or turned off or losing interest, then that's another story. It doesn't sound like that's the case.
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