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xoxoc

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  1. I’ve broken up with my boyfriend a few times but always come back. I always feel super guilty and feel like I should’ve “ended things in a better way.” So how do I tell him kindly that I can’t take this anymore so that I don’t feel extreme amounts of guilt when I block him and cut him off for forever?
  2. I’m just scared that it’s my fault and I need to fix it. It’s not fair if I leave then realize it’s me and didn’t change for him. But if it’s both of us then y’all are right we’re better off without each other.
  3. My relationship has had a fair amount of physical and verbal abuse coming from both sides… everyone tells me my bf is the abuser, but how do I know if I’m the abusive one or he is?? How do I know whose actions are reactive abuse?? If you need more info to respond let me know…
  4. I see a lot of toxic relationships on here, is anyone in a happy and healthy long term relationship? If so, Id love if you would take the time to describe what it’s like and what issues you have worked through. I’m having a hard time believing that everyone can really find true love and I think a lot of us are in the same boat.
  5. When I left the guilt killed me though. I felt like it wasn’t fair to him and I was betraying him. And I literally just talked to him about relationship therapy a day ago. So what do I do now???
  6. I just don’t want to believe that. It used to be so amazing. But then again he’s my first boyfriend, first love, first everything so I don’t really have anything healthy to compare it to.
  7. So even if we’re both willing to put in the effort to improve our relationship and minimize conflict, is a healthy relationship just not even possible at this point?
  8. If we’re both getting our own separate therapy and it’s still not working, would it not help to have a relationship counselor? Like someone who can mediate and call me out when I’m in the wrong and vice versa? I’m not fighting you on this, I just don’t really understand.
  9. Does anyone think that giving it one last shot with a relationship counselor is worth it? I know personal therapy has helped me within myself but should I ask him if he’d be willing to see a therapist together to try and fix this?
  10. My fear is that the toxicity is due to self-sabotaging though. Like I caused it to be toxic by pushing him away and I don’t know if I’m pushing him away because it’s toxic or if things would be so much better if I had never started pushing him away.
  11. Another thing I’ve worried about is that maybe my relationship isn’t even toxic and I’m just self-sabotaging. I cant get over the thought that maybe it’s just me pushing away something healthy because due to trauma I expect everything to be toxic in some way and can’t realize that something healthy is good for me. It’s a lot of back-and-forth thoughts inside my mind, wondering if it’s toxic or healthy, if it’s me or him, if I’m genuinely unhappy or if I’m scared, if I’m self-sabotaging or protecting myself…. I’m really not sure. I know that I need to go back to therapy but I don’t want to leav
  12. I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years. The past year and a half we’ve had these huge messy fights where we both just escalate things over the tiniest, stupidest arguments and it blows up into screaming and saying awful things we regret and a lot of times it leads to one of us breaking up with the other, and then we get back together a day or two later. Recently I’ve been extremely distant with him, and when I do see him all I can think about is our relationship crumbling. All my friends have told me to leave him, but I don’t know if I’ve just manipulated them into thinking that he’s t
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