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EitherDare0

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  1. The thing of it is, she seems completely content with her decision. You would think she was planning this escape for months, but if so she wasn't showing it. I saw some warning signs, but for the most part things seemed good. She was very talkative, attention seeking, lovey dovey etc. One would think such a swift breakup like that, she would at least have second thoughts or doubts. With how swiftly and mercilessly she dumped me, you would think I cheated on her or abused her or something, very far from the case. Of course she didn't cut me off totally, she still texts me a little bit, but our conversations are very short and definitely not at all like they used to be. As juvenile as this sounds, I didn't even get breakup sex. I got a long embracing hug, then dumped the next day. I cannot decide if she is witholding her true feelings toward me for some reason (no way she just fell out of love in a day) or if she is really just at peace with the decision. It does not matter, and I am sure there is zero reason to even question why, but that's how the mind works.
  2. I think the worst part is there is no closure really. No real explanation, she half attempted to explain, but seems she does not even know. Not to mention, I get dumped via text. Doesn't have the nerve to do it in person or at least call me. 2.5 years and that's how I get dumped, a text. I really wish I could at least have some closure of why or what happened. Looking back on things, she was not at all portraying that she wanted to separate. With the things he was saying, and snapchats etc, in the weeks up to, even a week prior. I just do not buy she fell out of love with me. It makes me think there is more to it, but if there is apparently she is resigned to not talk about it.
  3. I do not disagree with you. I am two weeks away from moving to Arizona, with friends there, leaving this old life behind. It will certainly be easier when I am not alone 24/7, and sitting in "Our" apartment we got together and lived in for over a year. The maybe we will be together stuff, yeah I do not take much stock in that. I figure either she says that bc she feels bad and guilty, or she thinks I will stay on the hook. I do not plan on that. What will probably happen, is I will move, be around other people, and not talk to her. She will likely at some point realized she F'd up. I hope she does, I hope she chews on that mistake for the rest of her life lol.
  4. Sounds to me like you can’t handle being friends. I do not blame you. I have a similar problem. My ex of 3 weeks dumped me after 2.5yrs, with little to no warning. And she made zero effort to fix things. Just cold cut dropped me. I told her goodbye forever. If she doesn’t want to work it out, then that’s it. Of course her reaction was “Don’t say that, you never know what will happen”. It’s selfish. It’s trying to keep you on the hook. There is zero chance I can be a friend. First time another guy came around id be done. Going from romantic and intimate to almost strangers. Too weird. If you can make it work, good luck to you. But Idk how anyone can truly just be friend with an ex. I know I’m not strong enough mentally.
  5. How exactly do I heal from this? It’s been about 3 weeks know since I saw her last and when she broke things off with me. I cannot even figure out what stage of grief I am in. I am not sleeping well, I am not myself. I do not have much joy. I am not outgoing or confident like I generally am. I constantly find myself reminiscing on good times. Memories, and questioning how and why this happened. The only good in all of this is I have been working out a ton and trying to self improve. But I feel hopeless. I don’t think I’ll find another woman who ticks the boxes for me like this one did. So much good and potential, so swiftly cut down without much warning. All I do is think of her. Fight the urge to talk to her. Constantly reminding myself that there’s nothing I can do. No grand gesture. No winning her back. I know how she is, I am sure there is a few guys already lined up at her door. And she cannot be alone so I know she’s talking to someone. the smart, rational person would think I deserve better. To forget this biotch. But, my heart is still invested. I foolishly miss her and want to help her, even though she deserves nothing from me. true heart-break is probably the worst thing ever. I feel so alone. Obviously none of this is helping me improve. I even have a very cute girl highly interested in me, but I feel like a wounded, maimed baby deer. Broken and defeated and not at all interested in anyone else. F this.
  6. That’s one silver lining is I’m not currently living with her anyhow. Does suck because I’m still in our apartment though. She has clothes there. Her grandmothers wedding ring that she had wanted me to propose with (back before she decided she doesn’t love me anymore obviously). All our pictures all over the wall etc. Definitely not fun, can’t wait to get out of there. I’m sure in time it will pass. Didn’t think I’d lose the love for my last gf but I did over time. I suppose in a way the added insult, although more difficult at first with betrayal, might make it easier to let go eventually once you completely convince yourself they obviously had a lack of care or respect for you. I personally wasn’t technically cheated on, but it doesn’t feel too far off
  7. I don’t even really remember the guy. I am sure I met him but definitely don’t know him. I won’t have to cross paths. I won’t be near any of them fortunately. I did notice they aren’t Facebook friends anymore. I am not going to bother asking, but I assume she felt guilty and blocked him. I am pleased if she did. I’m not naive enough to think she will run back into my arms. She may even be talking to someone else. But if she broke contact with that guy it alleviates the sting some. I developed it around 2010-2012. So many failed attempts at dating. So many being one of many guys. I fall hard. So I’ve had a lot of issues with girls who just aren’t as serious about me as I was them. But mentally I am screwed up from all the games and toxic bs. thought for awhile there it was gone, but then my 5 year relationship took a turn when I found my GF sending nudes to others on dating sites. So that reopened a gaping wound of untrusting. Of toxic thoughts like others romantically involved with my girl. I was in love with this girl too. So naturally when I think of what she told me, how she likes this other guy, my mind goes to overthinking toxicity. Like it convinces me he probably flew to visit. Or they are hooking up. When in all reality it’s probably just is or was casual snap chats or texts. And again it seems like they aren’t FB friends already, which means knowing my EX she probably blocked him out of guilt. But who knows. rationally I shouldn’t think about any of that. I try to distract or tell myself that’s silly. But toxic overthinking isn’t just so simple as “just don’t do it!”
  8. The thing of it is, she admits that she didn’t try enough, and she didn’t confront the issues with our relationship sooner or try and work them out. She’s “sorry” for that, but apparently not sorry enough that she would even entertain the idea now. Not far off from the “it’s not you it’s me” schtick. I asked if there was someone else. She told me no before, but It didn’t seem right. So when I asked again, she was honest. Too honest. She didn’t need to tell me all that. Worst case she should have jsut said “I did meet a guy I liked, didn’t want to or expect to” and left it there. Painful enough, but instead she had to literally say essentially who it was. And that she added him on Facebook a week later after she dumped me and she gave him her number. I can’t even take that stuff. So painful. Not sure I’ll ever recover from that. I have a toxic mind and now I have to relive all of it.
  9. He met me at the wedding. I was there, the groom knows me and knows Morgan and I date. I’m sure he has inquired about me. Weird thing is, she texted me the other day. Idk what the point was. She out of nowhere decided to tell me she “didn’t talk to him”, and then rambled on about being at the pool talking to a 6year old boy playing hide and seek. Idk what the point of that was.
  10. Yeah, that’s what makes this all so crazy hard to understand. This guy could somehow be so enchanting she could just throw her relationship of 2.5years away like that. I am shocked. Like it feels like a nightmare you’d have. Not real life. Even though I guess not cheating, I feels like it. Heck most people who I feel like are caught cheating regret it and want to the person back. She did not really cheat, but to be like yeah I liked that guy, it scared me, can’t be with you. Goodbye to 2.5years. Let’s be friends. How malevolent.
  11. Yeah, I wish she wouldn't have told me that, but it's my fault. I asked. I think she would have resigned to "The relation and love was over" and left it there, but i blatantly asked about something else. She maintains that it's not even likely this guy, but in general feeling like she did about another man with me. That is the brutal, gut searing truth. I also can't help think what a spineless dbag he is too. He knows damn well she was with me, and yet he's now going to get involved. F them both. That's one thing I would never do, I would never get with a girl like that, knowing that she was just in a committed relationship like two weeks prior
  12. OP, if it makes you feel any better I understand. I am a guy, and my GF of 2.5 yrs broke up with me out of nowhere a little less than two weeks ago. Yesterday I find that the last straw was bc at the wedding her and I went to, she was really attracted to some other guy in the wedding party. So when she realized she should't feel like that for a guy if she loved me, she knew she had to dump me. Shattered me. I am feeling all the things you feel. WE will always look back and say "What if" or just a little more time. I myself and doing it mentally right now. We tend to focus on things that we could have done better and hold so much regret. I wouldn't wish serious heartbreak on my worst enemy. All you can do is ride it out, try your best to move on, distract yourself with other activities, fight the urge to see or talk to him. Anytime you do, anytime you stare at old photos, or convos, or significant memorabilia that reminds you of him, it will tear you open. As terrible as it is, you have to let go fully and refuse to thing about it, as almost as impossible as that may seem. I am right there with you!
  13. Problem is I have no real support network. Not in person anyhow. I am all alone in our apartment. Full of things of us. With a lot of her clothes still here. I don’t have any friends or anyone here to help distract or take my mind off stuff. Plus there’s not much anyone can truly say.
  14. I agree. It’s just fresh. I found out about the talking to another guy like 14hrs ago. I am sure I am going thru different stages of grief right now. I know I deserve better. Sadly, I am losing hope that I will find better. I know I’m not perfect but I don’t think I’m that terrible either. Yet I keep striking out in the life of love. At this point it feels like all thats out there is other scarred messed up people like me, or people who have a few kids wit someone else. Something I really am not interested in getting into personally.
  15. Trust me I want to feel that way. I have brief moments of clarity where I realize what a crappy person she is and was to me, especially at the end. Nothing would make me happier than to be able to smile, laugh it off, and move past these feelings and be comfortable alone. Sadly, my mind doesn’t work that way. I do not excuse her actions nor find them ok quite the opposite. But I feel like she is mentally screwed up. I though she was getting better, but it was a false illusion. I realize that’s not my problem and I am not trying to fix her, but we gave each other our hearts for quite some time, she just took hers back in the last few months likely knew there was problems,but just ignored them. She didn’t try to sort through them or really help me understand. Instead she acted incredibly selfishly. Which I am sure she knows this, but either doesn’t care or has become really good at turning off emotion and feeling. Something she learned I think in growing up with such a toxic mother and family
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