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Ladyeagle14

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  1. I met my gf my 2nd year in college. I’ll admit, I had a pretty sheltered childhood, so when I went off to college, I tried to have as much fun as I could. My 2nd year was when I made a lot of my friends and went out often. I drank pretty regularly and could occasionally be an *** when I drank too much. I completely understand that and owned up to it. I started to lighten up on the drinking when I heard from my gf how much it bothered her. In present day, I’ve made some major changes in my life. I have a full time job at a large company now that I’m out of college, so I drink very rarely because I’m constantly busy and don’t really think about it. I usually only drink sometimes over the weekends at home when I’m playing video games and my gf has gone to sleep. It’s not anything even remotely close to how college was, but she still makes a big deal about it. There was one time that she upset me and I got mad at her and she immediately started going off about how I was acting the way I was “acting” because I was drunk despite the fact that I had sipped on half of a drink over the course of an hour. Not anything that could have gotten me even close to buzzed let alone drunk. And I’ve noticed that she constantly seems to do this. If I’ve had a drink of any sort and we have a disagreement, she automatically says it’s because of the alcohol. Like I get I had problems in the past and she’s probably feeling a little cautious because of that, but I think it’s a little unfair considering she wasn’t the best with alcohol either. She didn’t drink as often as me, but anytime we went out together, I already knew how the night was going to end. She was going to be drunk an hour in or even before we got to the bar because she pregamed too hard, and was 99% of the time going to have to be carried out. She’s tiny and can’t handle a lot, but she’d go in trying to out drink the guys and be plastered before the night had even started. It was even worse when I was away on school breaks. I’d trust my friends to look out for her, but obviously it’s not fair to expect them to be her babysitter, and there were quite a few times that she’d get herself into bad situations when they weren’t paying attention. People would flirt with her (some normal some dangerous) and my friends would have to pull her away because she was too drunk to realize they were trying to snatch her up and take advantage of her. So I completely understand the cautiousness when it comes to alcohol, cause people act stupid when they’ve been drinking, but I’m not blaming every fight on it whenever she has a glass of wine like she does to me. I guess it’s just frustrating for me because we’re both adults well out of college that have learned better and are more responsible, so we’re able to have a drink here and there without it being some big dramatic thing, but she’s still treating me like that stupid college kid that’s going to be an ass like I was 5 years ago. I’ve talked to her about it multiple times, but she still doesn’t seem to get how much it bothers me that she holds my past problems over me when I don’t do that to her. How do I approach this? We’ve been together over 4 years and are living together now, so I’d like to work on this problem rather than just leaving her.
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