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  1. We been together 1 year. He’s divorced with 2 kids. Ex wife cheated on him 3 years ago. They divorced 3 years ago. he tells me he loves me and misses me a lot. We are in a long distance relationship but we FaceTime 4-6 times a day. He is kind and comes from a good background. In August he committed to me as his gf. he did that because I walked away as I was frustrated he wouldn’t claim me as his gf after 9 months and he was not seeing anyone else. he just disliked having titles. he then also told me that thanksgiving he’s taking his kids on a 2 week vacation during that time and wanted me to be aware of it and not be mad that he wasn’t inviting me. our 1 year was Halloween weekend while we were together but he nonchalantly pretended it didn’t exist after I told him about it. this past week I asked about the holidays and he was being evasive. last night I spoke to him about Christmas and nye and if he wanted to spend it with me as flights are expensive and I’d like to plan it. he told me he wants to spend them with me but he can’t because he doesn’t want marriage. He’s worried this will lead to that. I have been honest with him since the beginning how I want marriage. He also said he might re marry but he doesn’t want any more kids and I agreed to not having kids. I told him at least give me marriage if I have to give up having kids. he told me he loves me and really wishes he can be with me for the holidays but he just can’t seem to make it happen. He also said he still wants me to be his girlfriend. I told him that is selfish and I will not be his gf and be sad, angry, and depressed and alone on the holidays knowing he didnt want/can’t be with me. I rather be alone and single. he then said I don’t want to lose you but I said you can’t have your cake and eat it too. He said he still can’t get over the hurt his ex wife did to him. He said I am perfect in every way but hard to open up more to me. He said maybe if I didn’t speak of marriage so much he would have spent the holidays with me. I am really hurt right now. Knowing how he’s not choosing me. did I the do the correct thing and end it? Should I have just have be quiet and wait it out? I’m 35 years old and he’s 42 years old. I just don’t want to waste my youth on someone who’s just enjoying me for the time being.
  2. I always put in so much effort for other people. Why doesn't anyone ever want to put the effort in for me? Why am I not worth the effort? Why am I always the second choice?
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