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jah234

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  1. He said that wasn’t true and that he can’t go out because of his anxiety. Now whether he is lying about that is a different story but avoidance is a symptom of anxiety. only he knows if he is using that as an excuse. He says he wants to go out once he gets better but I’m not going to be waiting around for him nor did I promise him that I would be available whenever he got better. He has no choice but to reps or that just as much as I have no choice but to back off and let him handle his anxiety the way he knows how. I am not trying to purpose or reconcile with him romantically at all.
  2. People mentioning him doesn’t bother me. Me finding out that he is dating someone wise wouldn’t bother me either. My issue with this whole ordeal was lack of communication and not understanding what happened in the last few weeks.
  3. Ok I don’t think you read anything I have written. I never call him. Ever. Unless he calls me. I don’t even text him unless he texts me first. I only called him and texted him on the one day we were supposed to meet up to make sure he wasn’t going to waste my time. I also said that he never stopped calling me. He still continued to call me every single day, multiple times a day. I spoke with him every night and received good morning texts every morning. That never changed since the day I met him. If he was trying to fade away his communication would have dwindled but it never did. We didn’t speak for a whole week because he said he needed time to himself. The only thing that changed in the past 3 weeks was us seeing each other. I didn’t need to get any hint because he wasn’t giving any. He said he was dealing with his anxiety and it is really bad right now. I don’t jump to conclusions especially since he had been consistent with everything else. He said he didn’t break it off with me he just needed his space to relax with his anxiety. As for the ED, I do believe that because he had issues when we were having sex so I had reason to believe that. secondly, I never said that I was trying to be in a relationship with him. We were dating and getting to know each other. He was the one who asked to date exclusively and still maintained that up until yesterday for the reasons mentioned above. Despite his shortcomings, we had great conversation and time together. I can still have friends even if it doesn’t develop into a relationship. I never said I saw him as a life partner but I do care about him this my concern and disappointment in all of this.
  4. I’ve been stepped back. I’m only venting here. I have not reached out to him until he reached out to me. He doesn’t have a new women. A mutual friend of ours confirmed it. They said they haven’t seen him. They said he has been MIA.
  5. Thank you ladies. I agree with everything you all said. Its too much for me. I have everything I need for my own closure to move on.
  6. Update: her called me but I didnt answer. After a day I called him and he said he called by accident then proceeded to ask me if I was ok. He then told me that he was doing better. I quickly ended the call stating that I was meeting someone for dinner and maybe we will talk later. I spoke to him this morning and he confirmed that he is dealing with his anxiety and when it gets to "this stage" he shuts down, cant be around anyone. This is how he knows how to deal with it. he sounded very sluggish and contradicting with what he was saying. Below are some of the things he said: he said we are no longer exclusively dating but his feelings haven't changed he said he didn't want to lead me on and didnt want me to catch feelings for him he said his message to me wasn't a break up, he just needed time because I annoyed him by trying to contact him. he said he wants to meet up again and go out as friends when he is better but doesn't know when that will be he says he cant ask me to wait or stop me from seeing other people but to not do tout of spite to avoid making mistakes. he claims to say this because he cares. * I know that when a man is serious about a woman, he would never be ok with her seeing other people, but yet he claims his feelings haven't changed for me. Im so confused. he still refuses to see me in person because he feels uncomfortable and says it's not just me, he's this way to everyone including his family. His video games is his best friend right now he always does this when "the stage" of anxiety gets this way and has lost a lot of people because of it. I deserve someone that makes me happy and is in the stage of life to give me what I want. he doesn't know what he wants right now and isn't interested in dating anyone. He's not thinking about dating anyone right now, he just wants ti get himself together and his focus is more about helping himself. he said he wanted to see me that day but he just couldn't because he was uncomfortable he said he wanted to call me within the last week but didn't because he didn't want to lead me on. he said his ED went away, 3 days after he sent me that a text, joking stating that he wondered if I out a hex on him! Since I now know that this is all due to his anxiety, how do I know if this is his anxiety talking or if he is really feeling this way? he says he wasn't breaking up with me via that text but also said that his feelings didn't change, we aren't exclusive anymore and I can date other people. I know this is extremely overwhelming for me and I don't think I can deal with this, but im just having a hard time processing all of this. There was a lot more said that I just cant remember right now, but what am I supposed to do with this? This does not mean that I want him back or anything like that. This kind of serves as a bit of closure for me since the main questions that I had have been answered and other information solidified but my goodness, he really might be unstable right now.
  7. Thank you for that. I’m glad I posted to gain a better understanding of what was happening as I was initially confused by his behavior. I haven’t heard from since and don’t plan on answering if he ever decides to contact me again.
  8. you are right. I only started asking when I noticed he wasn't making time to see me but everything else between us was the same. He was deliberately avoiding me and I couldn't understand why.
  9. It’s odd because he had no problems calling me all the other times to cancel. I can’t help but wonder why this time was different. He wouldn’t even answer the phone the entire day, before and after he sent that message.
  10. Yes. I think he does know that what I said when we first started dating was true. I was truly concerned for his health but since he got defensive about what I said, I left it alone. Not much I could enforce after just meeting someone. Now the damage seems to have come to frustration and he blames me saying I spoke this into his life. I couldn’t believe it! I have never met anyone so reckless with their health. It’s the smoking weed and mixing tobacco, having a beer, 2x margarita, smoking again, then another beer… this is what he did when he was around me that caused my concern. Add that to him getting drunk almost every weekend, staying up all hours of the night either playing video games or watching tv and eating fast food everyday and in the wee hours of the night; No exercise and is about 150lbs at a 6’ frame. Correct me if I’m wrong, but that seems to be severely malnourished. as I type this and read back what I wrote. Those were definitely red flags that he had a problem and it was a problem long before I came along. I read that tobacco use in addition to being mixed with Marijuana , alcohol, stress etc… can a lead to damage of the blood vessels, high blood pressure and cause ED. I hope for his sake he gets help and didn’t cause irreversible damage to his body from his poor choices.
  11. He probably did and knew that all hell would break lose if I found out. I don’t tolerate cheating and he knows that. Him wanting to break up wouldn’t have bothered me, it was about how he went about doing it. Even after that message I was confused and he denied me the opportunity to gain clarity or discuss. In addition to that, he pretty much starved me of affection the entire month of my bday, adding to the fact that he was out of town on my birthday. Just thinking about this makes me mad all over again. If we didn’t agree to be exclusive, I would have just went out with someone else but I’m loyal and stuck to my part of the agreement. There will not be any second chances for him. He will learn the value of what he had now that I’m gone.
  12. Yea, he probably messed with one of the strippers or tried to and his junk wouldn’t work. They could have embarrassed him as well. I don’t know and at this point don’t really care either. If he was a mature adult, he would have handles this whole thing differently.
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