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  1. It's time to actually make a journal and stick to it. Even if no one but me reads this, it's the cathartic properties of actually expressing my emotions that I aim for. Well, here we go. Day one. Today I had no real plans other than to do some gardening. After my morning routine of rolling out of bed, I got a call from my sister to ask if i could pick up my niece as she was unwell at school and my sister couldn't make it there to get her. I dropped her off at my mums house, had a chat with her and then headed home to get started on my front yard. I moved into a rental about 6 months ago, and it was a mess. The previous renter left junk everywhere, the front garden is an overgrown mess. I have been making my way through every room in the house, cleaning walls, carpets, everything. Making progress, but the last thing I have to complete is the front garden. Thankfully, it didn't take long. Nothing some headphones, gloves and hedge trimmers can't fix. Lately I have been pondering what it would be like to just fly off of the radar. Sell most of my big belongings, sell my car, buy a van, and just travel from town to town picking up jobs and seeing the country. It's obviously not gonna happen, but it's something I can't seem to shake. I think I am overwhelmed with everything that is going on currently and I just wanna escape it all. However, I'm staying strong and trying to find my place in this world. I have been in a really healthy relationship for the past 6 months. We met through a mutual friend, neither of us expecting a relationship. As time passed we became closer and closer, learning more about each other and realising how compatible we are. We were housemates together for a while when I moved away for 6 months, which helped me determine and learn a lot about her. We adopted a cat together and recently decided to take the plunge and get a dog. We both live active lifestyles and play sports, love camping and fishing, don't really like the night life. She is the kindest, gentlest, wonderful person I have ever met. I am blessed to have her in my life. My mental health has been very up and down lately, but I have been working hard to get back to stability. It was recommended to me to ween off of my antidepressants as they have been making my mental health worse. Since I have been cutting down on them, I am actually more stable. I can feel happiness again and not just a constant white noise. I have so much motivation and actually get things done. Still waiting to be seen by a psychiatrist for ADHD medication, but I have dealt with that for my entire life so I will be okay. The depression and anxiety is still there, but I am dealing with it much better now that i can actually feel emotions again. I think I will finish this for today, can't think of anything else currently,
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