loveydovey

How well do you know him, is my question. As far as what day he shoud come, I'm not sure it really makes any difference if all you two are trying to do is see one another.

I agree with Bounder. It doesn't seem to me that he was friendly one minute, then 24 hours later he's just mean and dirty. I think he was using the conversation you two had for some sort of confirmation that things would remain the way they are. He may not have even intended to talk with you except for that day and that one day only. JMO. HTH hun

So Danimal, how are you doing right now? Have you urges to call her decreased somewhat? Because from your first post and up to your last post, you seem to have cooled down a bit. Is anything that anyone's said really helping you? Good luck, huh!

Wow, really? So I should just say in those words "_____, I'm ready to take this to the next step"? LOL. Okay, I'm like a 15 year old again. I'm getting all giddy inside. Moonunit, that WAS sweet . So if I say this, I wonder if he will then say, "Loveydovey, can I be your man". LOL. Okay, so I'm being super corny right now. But, hey I will try it either when I talk to him later tonight, or should I wait until we're in person since he's out of town?

Well, jays, this is what i have to say: I wanted to breakup with an ex of 3 1/2 years, but I was also a firm believer that we could ultimately work it out. Things were not good those last couple of months of the relationship. And in fact, I think that I had emotionally left the relationship maybe about 4-5 months before it actually happened. He was the one who initiated the breakup after I sensed something was on his mind then asked if he wanted to breakup with me. So the decision was mutual but 2 months later, I got into a relationship. But the way it was for me, I had been 6-7 months without any real "love" if that makes any sense. Like someone else said, she probably had been thinking about it for a while or else wasn't really 'there' for a while and so to her, maybe 2 months of the grieving phase was enough. But, (just a tidbit from my past) in my experience, my 2nd relationship did NOT work. It wasn't exactly a rebound relationship, but there were some things (that's another story) that went on that I allowed to happen because I did not fully heal from Relationship 1. I don't know if that's the answer you were hoping for, but I sure hope it helped you out some.

Thanks all for the responses so far! heloladies21, jenyb, I wasn't sure I wanted a relationship with him initially because I wanted to make sure I was prepared to let go of my inhibitions and give my heart again. But now I am and I don't know how to tell him. muneca, I'm almost positive (98%) what his answer will be . He and I are the same type of person and share similar values. 1love2k5, I know exactly how he feels, but I'm so silly, I don't know how to get him to ask me again. Basically, he put his feelings for me on the table and I told him that I didn't know what to say. So then he told me that he wants to go at a pace that I'm comfortable with; he said "Just let me be the uncomfortable one. I want to make sure you're comfortable." ohhh he's such a sweetie So we agreed. And, since then, we've gotten much closer and much more comfortable with each other and I find myself not worrying about the other guys I was sort of dating; he's out of town this week and I miss him terribly; I don't feel the desire to talk on the phone with any man but him. And then the realization hit me....I want to be able to call him my boyfriend and me his girlfriend. But I don't know how to go about this The last time me and a guy I was dating was at this phase, I was in high school. So do I just tell him "______, I'm ready now!!"?

Lol. Well, danimal KISS is a little phrase i use for Keep It Simple Son . But about you having beers and it being a step back, I wouldn't count yourself out of the running just yet. Because let me tell you, if she just wanted to be purely friends without the possibility of ever leading to more, I doubt if she would still be willing to go with you. At least, I wouldn't. And, if you felt the connection, she probably felt it as well. I think that she's playing it safe and cool because she does want it to work for the best. So in the meantime, I think you should mirror her behavior and just let the story of you and her unfold

Well, I know exactly what you mean. Last time I went out with some friends to a Memorial Day party....and I mean it was FUN party. But the next morning I woke up feeling so empty and so lonely. I've however, recently discovered that doing the things that years ago made me happy (such as dancing, writing poetry), brings me so much peace and fulfillment. So in the process of keeping my mind unoccupied on that special person missing from my life, I also do something that makes me happy HTH!

Question: Do I wait for him to ask me to make a committment to me and to start a relationship? Or do I just take the plunge and ask him? If you need additional details about my situation, I'd be happy to share

Well just KISS (keep it simple son) and subtly but progressively show her that you're a good catch and you know it too! That's my advice. And also, I wouldn't suggest the gift. JMO

Well, what sort of fast are you considering? There are some strictly water fasts, as well as juice and water fasts. I would say do a Google search on methods and safety of fasting. Here is a helpful link I found: link removed. And also, if you have any existing medical conditions, I would say definitely check with your physician before beginning. HTH!

Ditto on what smallworld said. It isn't easy, wish I could say that it is. But just think of it more in terms of a phase that most folks go through after a breakup.....something thats more often than not, totally unavoidable.

Woah, what you just described sounds just like with me. Except, I haven't specifically heard any rumors about me, I have this feeling about it. I have learned thought, that it's best to just let it die down; like someone suggested, they will start talking about something new in a little while. And if you live in a city like mine, things WILL move to something or someone else. I had a good image where I'm from, and I probably still do for all I know. The only thing is that a few people probably know just a tad bit more about my personal dealings than I'd like to know. Just let it go and remember that just because we may know someone for 5 years, doesn't mean we "know" the character of that person in every area of their life (at work, with buddies, with family, etc...)

Coming from a person who used to shed tears a LOT, I think maybe you're just tough or that the atmosphere you were raised in, you saw, heard, or experienced things that made you an emotionally strong person. With me, now I'm at a point where I've heard it all before and whereas people and their words or actions used to upset me and disappointment me, it doesn't have much affect on me. It just rolls off of my back. So instead of me crying/getting emotional once a month, I now do so about every 3 or 4 months . Yeah, I know you're saying my situation sounds hardly comparable to yours, but trust me this is a vast improvement 8)

Agreed with above posters. He shouldn't prohibit you from doing ANYTHING that you don't agree with. And yes, that is a good question...why was the girl getting upset with him and interrupting his time out with you, the girlfriend?

I know I may be over-reading or under-reading, but when you say, bf, do you mean your boyfriend or your best friend of 11 years who is a male? If he's your boyfriend, are you two taking a break from one another and that is the reason you haven't heard from him? But if this is a simple thing of you waiting on some form of confirmation from him before you decide to move on and forget about him, then I agree with Caterina--try everything in your power to stop worrying about what he wants to do next. HTH!

I would equate a guy wearing a sleeveless shirt on a date, to him stepping outside for to take the trash out. That's just my opinion. If a guy picked me up and I was all decked out for our date and I get in the car to find him in a sleeveless shirt like the kind one sleeps in, I'd say "just a minute while I go put on my nighties also"

Yes, I've read in books or articles that onions, garlic, alcohol, coffee can have a negative effect on the smell of those body fluids. I've been led to believe that pinapples (or juice) and cranberries (or juice) will help....in addition to not highly consuming those above mentioned foods.

Yeah, thats kind of black and white, yet it isn't black and white. You have to, have to, have to %100 trust him while he's gone. Because if he's away and you only trust him a fraction of that, then you'll be miserable and will drive yourself nuts. So, since we obviously can't turn our trust for someone on and off like that, it's going to be hard. But, maybe you could give it a trial and go from there. I agree with lillady, talk it through and let him know where you're coming from....after the 'trial' then take notice how your heart feels about him and about the relationship. If it feels right, that would be absolutely wonderful. If it doesn't, then at least you can say you gave it a fair chance

Well, I know what you mean....My friends like to go out to parties and clubs to 'have fun' but I have become soooo disinterested with that over the past couple of weeks. Like you said, it's the same scenarios every time when you go out. I think that a good place to go would be a bookstore if you like to read. Also, try to become a volunteer with different groups/ organizations in the area. If you're in school, maybe you can get together study groups. ...trying to think of places that my friends met their companions.

I know what you mean, I've been there. But we all go through it.....and I don't know if this is any help or not, but think of it this way--There is someone out there who has felt or will feel that way about you at some time or another (perhaps even now). And that's not to say that the thought that someone feels rejected by you should cheer you up, but that thought (knowing that everyone has been where I've been) really helped me to put everything into perspective...and like you said 'take my life back'

Just be patient and don't be too pushy with her. It's likely that she just needs to unwind after she gets off from work. So if possible, give her some space to do so immediately (the first hour or two) and maybe that will make some difference. HTH!

Well, the easiest way is what you're doing right now!! ....chatting, message board hopping, etc. Other than that, go to a place where you don't have to personally initiate conversation with someone (on your own). Try going places and participating in events/ activities where it is mandatory

Just make friendships with people that are drama free and who don't seem to have lots of negativity surrounding them. Another thing is that perhaps you need to date girls...talk to them....go out with them. But DONT focus on just one girl....not just yet. I say don't get too dependent on ANYONE too early...friends, lovers, whatever. And the best way to do that is to spread out your attention, then slowly but surely, begin to narrow it down to only those special people. As far as friendships go....you can be friendly with everyone but you can't be friends with everyone. Remember that. So don't get discouraged from forming new friendships, and don't allow a few bad seeds to make you question yourself as a person.

I agree with putting it on the table. Just make your feelings clear and see what happens. And, I'm sorry, but why again did you say they were watching a movie together without you?? Maybe I'm wrong or old-fashioned or simply a stick in the mud. Others might not agree, but thats just a bit too close for comfort for my taste.