Sadness_Creeping

Anyone have this? It happened to me last night, it was really scary. I have done some reading about it, and apprently its kinda common, anyone else here ever have this happen? If so, what happens and how often does it happen? When it happened to me last night I fell impeding sense of doom, and I couldnt move, except I did have a small seizure, where my legs and head started to shake violently, this lasted for what felt like 5 min, but it may have been much shorter. The whole time alls I could do was look at the wall and ceiling and what seemed to feel like someone beside me at the time(kinda remember a face of some woman), but most likely was just my other pillow..then I suddely got control back and got out of bed as fast as I could...said what the f*ck was that..got a glass of water and went back to sleep.

Plays Out I made it downtown last night Listening to music in my headphones Standing on the bridge, I seen the light As I took in the sound and tones I was having some extreme doubt About my life, and why I am here I've decided to see how it plays out. It's the start of a new year Time to put my fears on the shelf Everything is starting to become more clear Time to start caring about my self I sometimes wish I could change my past But standing there looking down made me see, we are all flakes of snow All unique, falling into the water so fast The more I think about, the more I come to know Just like the snow becoming water after it has dissolved In the end we all become the same Now it seems that all my problems have been solved I now am starting to love my self and think no shame I am no longer going walk around with a pout And think this life is so crappy There is no time for insecurities and doubt It's time to be happy Time to see how this wonderful life plays out. -SC

We're all crazy Surprisingly it works Have our own little quirks Somethings we do to make a our own point Smoking another joint I've become lazy Suddenly everything is hazy Starting to think about what to eat As I rock out to this beat Light up a smoke instead Starting to think about bed Didn't make a new friend today Could care less what anyone had to say I needed time alone To be in my own zone Another day on this planet earth Since the day I was giving birth Got a big smile on my face Suddenly I'm not such a waste Learning to love my self one day at a time Writing in down in a rhyme Damn, if only everyone knew That they are all crazy too

Thanks for the replys Well I'm off to work agian...lol.

Sitting at my table Sitting at my table Trying to understand this fable This life is so good and bad Sometimes I'm happy, sometimes I'm sad I grab my pack of smokes, and play with the foil I stop and I think of all the oil That fuels our lives And causes us to strive Wondering what will happen when we run out To many bad things, because of one drought Most of us drive around in our cars And hardly take the time to look at the stars They are above us looking down Even when we frown This industry age is setting the stage For a war that will wage Most of us choose to ignore Even though we know we could do more My life seems to be filled with all this friction The root cause being my addictions It's so hard to kick a bad habit alone This world makes me feel like a drone Getting up to work everyday I can't wait until I am old and gray I will look bad on this time alone and realize how much I have grown I might not be mentally stable, but hopefully I will be able to remember Sitting at my table...

Awesome, I'm glad that you found someone that can make you feel happy, I can't wait till that speical someone comes along for me, if it ever does. Cheers!

This jest happen to me, but execpt we where only together fer a few weeks, not even in a realtionship, but it was very intence. She told me she didnt want to be in a relationship, and then I was like okay...but a week later I freaked out for some reason and delete her off my msn, then she got mad..I said sorry, and then jest last night I called like wayyyy to many times, and she kept hangin up on me...grr..why do I always do stupid stuff like this?? do I have no self control..Im 23, no 16 anymore...sigh, I need to grow up. At least you got to spend a month with someone, Im contantly finding my self alone and just wanting to be in a realtionship, but then I always move too quick and get hurt Im talkin to this other girl, but I am really scared, cause shes really nice but I dont want to get hurt again.

Wow, I'm going through the same thing. Expect toss in the fact I lack friends which makes it so much wrose. I've decied to work on my self, improve the thing that I dont like. Some examples are smoking cigs, and weed. I think In order to grow to someone that is attactive to a girl that I would want to be with I need to leave my childish ways behind. I spend most of my time alone, somtimes I feel good about my self, sometimes I dont know, sometimes I hate my self..expicaly when I get used and then tossed away. I moved to a big city last year, and people are much different here. I'm still adapting and learn on where to meet good people. You mentioned that you need to smile more, but that may not be the case. I feel if someone makes me smile and makes me happy then they have earned the right to see my awesome smile, I shouldnt have to fake it. People (mostly girls)who are contently faking happy and being nice piss me off, because they are acting. Most of the time they could care less about the people that are taking to them, and yet Ive notice the person who is talking to them(guys) really like them. Its kinda sad really, this is why I tend to stay away from ppl like that. I've also learned about my self that I dont like having a lot of friends, I enjoy spending one on one time with one person, rather than a group of people, I guess this refects on how I was raised my rents never really had alot of friend that where not family over. Anyways, not sure if I helped at all, but at least you know your not alone and there are ppl like you in the world

Well, I guess you can tell by my name, that yes, this happens to me too. Expect for me, I have highs and lows. I've talked about it with people that care about me, like my rents. They always say things like "your bound and dermind to think there is something wrong with you." But I know there is, and I dont get help. I just deal with it. I find my self the sadnest when I am alone, The whole world just seems stupid then and I dont get what the hell Im doing here..etc. Then when Im around some friends, everything is better and I almost forget all the worlds stupidness. I feel for people alot too. Expeicaly people that I know are sad, and really depressed, but I dont do anythign about it cause I get sared like its going to make me more depressed by being around them. Lately I've noticed that doing things that I normal wouldnt do seems to make me feel better about my self. An example would be, yesterday a friend who owes me money hasnt been payin me, Normaly I would just suck it up and move on,not this time though...I marched over to his place and walked right in and bit*hed him out...god that felt good..even though he tossed me around, and his GF freaked on me...Its all good, becuase now I know they know what I really feel. Try that, doing something that you normal wouldnt do in a sisuation, it was crazy how much I was smiling afterwards. IF you can find the song by Michael Andrews Mad World, I find that helps me accept my sadness, and move on to a normal/high sooner. Anyways hope this helps, if not it did give me something to do for 15 min..lol. -SC

Rattle My head I rattle my head from this battle in mind which I can't quite define. with all this sadness around I can't help but feel sad deep down. All this makes me just want to frown I pull my self together and neither the rainy weather or the oh so cold days can turn this smile upside down People will never see again, who I really am I'm sick of being a shy person, it is time to remove the curtain. I'm for certain that this is the only way I can make it trough yet another day I'm sick of seeing new things I want It makes me think, why bother to flaunt what I can't afford on something that will just make me bored. I want to know the truth about this life, and have a wife. The odds are against me, I don't want to fall. This world is big, and I'm and so small. In the end I'll just sit here instead and; rattle my head.....rattle my head.

Thanks for the advice. But, I dunno who is less complicated situations, both have issues, as does everyone around my age. I know your right about possible roller rides, but..they are soooo fun sometimes...aarg. Oh well at least I'll be prepared for it.

Okay, here we go..... ..I've been single for months now, but lately, all these girls have been comin onto me. Okay, so I started seein this one girl, but where not together..we where just together a night..but it was an awesome time, the thing is shes bi, and has a girl friend, which is okay, cause her girl friend has a boyfriend. Anyways, this happened earlier during the week, and this weekend I went and seen and old friend, who is lookin for someone, and I'm definently sure she likes me, but I dont feel the same way about her, ya know...sexualy as the other girl. Here the kicker, she makes alot of money, and is really smart, where as the other girl that I'm seeing does not, but I'm more attracted to her. Plus I don't really know the other girl as well as my old friend, ya know like if shes with other guys...etc, she did tell me she made out with like 5 girls at the bar while I was gone...which leads me to feel that shes quite open and free, and that I really don't mean much in the grand sceam of things to her. Now, cause I've been single for a while, this is all exciting for me, cause even my old friends roommates friend was flirting with me when no one else was around...and she has a boyfriend!! So you can see how I'm all mixed up, and don't know what to think...but yet I feel so happy...like I'm on some high. I'm kinda drinkin wine to selttle me self down, plus writing about this is helping. I already know what the right choice would be..my old friend, but.....when the other girl tells me things like help her with trusting guys again...that makes me think. Also the other girl sent me a link to some gay guy porn before she left to the bar just now,plus she asked me if I'm gay ealier...am I like tryin to be setup for a foursome here or something??...cause damn, I just don't know if thats my thing. Anyways, any advice would be welcome.

Hey Caterina, You sound like me. I'm young(23) good looking guy and I find that I can't seem to keep a relationship, let alone friendships lately. Ive had a few relationships (like 4) and havent been single that long, maybe about a year. I notice that Im really shy too, scared of rejection...etc. This is something that Ive known for a while now, just never really paied much attention to it, cause I wasnt single. Now that Im single...Girls say to me that I have sexy lips, etc..and I get all red and dont know what to do...Its soo odd, cause like a bit later I think about what I should of said...and what would of worked to make a friend or possible relationship. This pisses me off, and then I get sad, and the loop starts all over again. I think what I have to do, and maybe what you should do as well, is keep mental notes (or writen) about what should of been said in some situations, and then review them, cause you never know when something would work, then you seem more natual during the conversation/situation..anyways I think you get where Im goin with this. My parents came to vist this weekend, and i think my dad was tryin to tell me something. He would walk up to random ppl and say some odd coment about what they where doing, like say tryin on hats...he would say, I like the other better...etc...And Im like, huh, thats so something I SHOULD be doing but Im not. Everyone he talked to appeared to smile...I thought they might of thought he was kind of a werido but, no, they all talked to him and smiled..etc. Which brings me to another point. Ive noticed that people like my smile...so now Im always smiling, no matter what I feel inside. More people started talkin to me at work too..so ya, anyways, Im starting to ramble here. I hope you find someone soon Caterina, cause you sound like a really nice girl and deserive it.

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