loveydovey

Yep. We've been friends since 7th or 8th grade too. I would ask you for some advice on that but it looks like we're in the same boat! But wow, you got that thing going on and and the other thing going on. You are good, my friend because with all that, I'd be a little right about now. I'm the kind of person that cares a whooole lot about my friends and their well-being.

That was what I was about to say. What about your girlfriend?....your present girlfriend. Now, its fine and dandy that you have feelings for your ex-girlfriend and you feel like you want to give it another go, but right now that CANNOT be your main focus. You need to realize that there are other people's feelings now involved in the mix. You have to consider that as well before you start trying to figure out if you're on the right road to winning her back or making her want you again. This is just my opinion, though.

I did things like noted tips and suggestions with/for my last boyfriend. At first, I didnt feel so comfortable....I just sat laid there, but then I became more comfortable with him and more inhibited, and I started saying things like probably what your girlfriend says but it was a very loving relationship and we just loved talking sexy to each other....I don't know, it kind of heightens the moment for some folks. But as someone else asked, why exactly does it bother you that much that you would consider asking her to stop it?

Well some people don't like to answer their phones for unfamiliar caller ids....they think that if it's someone they know, the person will leave a voicemail. I know, because I'm like this myself! So you did good leaving the voicemail. But as far as worrying about how long ago its been since you called and she hasn't called you back....I think you're A-OK. Maybe something came up. Who knows. But, my advice is to just sit tight and she'll probably call you back either tonight or tomorrow afternoon.

Yeah, maybe you could go with some plans that have been pre-arranged with her then with your other group of friends. I'm in a somewhat similar situation myself, except its slightly flipped....my one friend doesn't like hanging out with my other group of friends very much and I have no clue why. She gets verrry offended when I do things with other people and feel like I'm blowing her off. But since she doesn't necessarily like hanging out with my other friends, she won't want to come along! And then she'll start questioning our friendship and asking do I still like her as a person and a whole bunch of nonesense. I just don't get that. We hang out a lot and have been friends for 10 years! I don't know....I guess she's insecure

Well, I know what you mean. In my previous relationships, I waited a substantial amount of time before becoming intimate, but then in my last one, it seemed like I waited no time . But I would say only time will tell if the "early" sex will change anything on his part. And, honestly, there's no point in worrying yourself over it. What's done is done and either you two will keep being all happy go luck or you won't. But if you don't, and you strongly feel it was an issue with sex, then he wasn't worth your time, anywho . Just keep your eyes and ears (without overanalyzing) on him and you'll soon find out what he's about.

What is it exactly that you feel is wrong? I don't think you NEED to do anything to improve your relationship, but if you feel like something is lacking, I would try having a heart to heart with your boyfriend. And that shouldn't be too uncomfortable for you since you two have been together for over a year. Tell him how you feel. Let him know that you've had a broken heart before and that you sometimes push people away. Sometimes when people know where we've come from, they are able to better understand us. Hope this helps sweetie.

My best advice to you is to KEEP YOURSELF BUSY. No matter what. The urge to call him will be great if you're just sitting home alone, cause then your thoughts will surely drift to back when you were together. Don't do it honey. If you need to keep busy for a night, 2 nights, or the whole weekend, then do so. Have fun--read a new book, go shopping, go rent a movie and watch it at a friend's house, go to a party. These first couple of days will be the hardest, but I promise it will get better! \

Well put bexcelant. I think he'll get tired of all her stinginess and eventually bail out. Because if you're saying a couple of his other friends have complained about this, then that means she's hogging all his time. Which ultimately gets tiresome. As a side note, who is she to be dictating who he does and does not talk to? Sheesh Did you say they are dating now?

Exactly. Just make sure you pre-determine some distinguisable differences in your behavior as just a friend versus a boyfriend. And you should definitely do your own thing from time to time. Not saying to withdraw from her completely, but you get my drift

Well, I say just wait for her to respond again. If she doesn't, then oh well. But don't you go writing back to her to ask her what the deal is because, No you weren't to harsh. I think that was a good letter. It was straight to the point and honestly how you felt. And as for being friends, I wouldn't do it right now. To me, it would be totally different if neither one of you were seeing someone else and the two of you were both open to the idea of friendship. But the current situation just does not permit that right now. So I think you have the right idea.

Well, I started dating someone right after i broke up with my ex and we became monogamous (and i use the term loosely (because of him)) after 2 months. I thought it was real. We talked about the future and family and kids. Professed love for each other. So of course, I didnt think it was simply a rebound relationship. But 6 months later, it was over (long story there). There were some reasons I should not have agreed to be in a relationship with him, but I chose to overlook them and I now in hindsight believe that I let things slide just for the sake of being in a relationship. I had ended a 3 1/2 year relationship and was talking to or 'dating' someone else by the end of the week. Now in my case, I will admit it was definitely a bit quick (understatement). It was not healthy and it was not wise. So for me, maybe it was just the guy, but a rebound relationship did not work.

Wow that sounds exactly like what happened between my and my 'high school sweetheart'. Were together for about 7 or 8 months, apart for about 5 months when he decided he wanted to take me to prom, two weeks after prom, told me he wanted me back. Ahhh the memories.. But yeah! Go for it. Get her a rose, some flowers...go all out! You say you may be getting back together, and besides it's the Prom !!

Great advice japhy! **Making a mental note to do these things for myself the next time I see any of my exes. (show em what they're missing!)** 8)

You took the words right outta my mouth

Okay this is just a definition that was in an online dictionary. Get the idea? My definiton of friendship is somthing where comfort, trust, appreciation, and encouragement are mutual. A friend wont' hurt you intentionally. Don't feel bad though. I feel like I am a quiet person..an introvert or what have you, but I have friends that are both quiet and loud! The thing is, we have all those elements mentioned above, and that's what counts as a true friendship!! Be patient. You'll find some good friends. If not 'some', then one TRUE friend is just as lovely. Remember QUALITY not QUANTITY

I believe people can have extremely opposite opinions on an issue and still have a successful relationship. However, if one or both people feel extremely militant or fanatical about those issues , then call the referee, cuz we've got a situation

I agree with DN. I think the only way you will know if there is a connection is if you make some sort of move...maybe an official date or something? But I will say this--if she is flirting with you then she is definitely at least attracted to you

Oh my goodness I love this question. My simple definitions: LOVE: A mature feeling and action that you express towards people that you care about IN LOVE: A heightened sense of euphoria you feel towards a signifact other But simply put, you can love someone for 10 years, but its almost inevitable that you will fall in love and out of love with them throughout the entire time. Think about it. It makes sense

Well, first of all you have to have a foundation of trust and friendship. From that will come strong feelings of fondness that you will both feel. After that has developed, the love will come naturally. You may not be able to tell directly from his words, but you will see it through his actions. If he is genuinely concerned about your well being; if he wants to see you succeed; if he doesn't want anyone or anything to cause you pain; if he genuinely shows you respect--not just because he feels he has to, but because he can't help BUT give respect to the woman he adores.....then I'd say it's true love

I agree with guapa. I think that he is just a bit confused but that's not to say he wasnt sincere in the talks that the two of you shared. But I do believe his emotions are probably all over the place. Just give him a little space and don't appear to come on too too strong . Because if something real and special does form between you two, wouldn't you want it to be after he's healed and better able to move on rather than in the midst of all his confusion, pain, and frustration from his last break-up?

Well, it has been my experience that if someone wants to get back together, they won't just leave it at nice conversations and innocent flirting. It wouldn't stop there. If a person hasn't already expressed an interest at a possible reunion (not even just a little bit), then I would say that at the present time, they just plain ole aren't interested in getting back together at this time. But don't let that get you down because the key phrase is "at this time". She is either, A-enjoying being single; B-dealing with some things in her life right now and for reasons unknown, just doesnt have much time; or C-is dating other people or someone else. Either way, her actions (or lack-thereof) indicate to me that you would be better off just doing YOUR own thing too right now....whether that be doing some dating or just spending time getting over her some other way. Now you can do one of two things at this poing: You can go and spend an indefinite amount of time trying your hardest to convince her to be with you again or you can accept the current situation and make the best of it for YOU. So what do you want to do?

My advice....If you want to call her, then call her. If you don't want to talk to her, hear her voice or anything like that, then don't call her. Simple as that. No offense to anyone, but it's not about who "wins" because to me winning and losing is only for when games are played. And to me, we cause ourselves unneccesary grief when we approach love/break-ups with a im-not-going-to-give-in-first-because-to-get-the-results-that-I-want-i-HAVE-to-win-this approach . During the year that I have been broken up with my ex, there were times when I didn't feel the need to talk to/call him....didn't even feel an inkling. He on the other had would call me after week-long periods of not talking to each other. And vice versa with me calling after long-periods. There hasn't been and there isn't going to be any need to deliberately restrain myself from calling him, answering his calls, or calling him back. If you're genuinely mad or need some distance from her it shouldn't be too hard to avoid her. If you're not mad, then what's the harm? This is just my opinion

Well, i was recently in a similar situation with my ex. We broke up because of a rift that was forming in between us about a year ago. We looooved each other to pieces but a split was, at the time, the best possible decison in order to salvage the love, friendship, and respect for each other that was still there. A year later, after me dating a few guys and all, I felt like I wanted to tell him that I wanted to try again, and well, much to my dismay....he told me he's with someone else now. And I will tell you at first I just thought that I was going to try my hardest, begging and all, to get him back. But after having a long discussion with him, it made me realize that it is what it is. Maybe in a different time and place, we can try again and just maybe the next we'll get it right. So my advice to you is to just take some time right now and use it either to embrace being single or to reflect on what didnt go so right in your last relationship. In the end, you'll feel a lot better than you do right now. Because I'm sure you're tearing yourself up and in constant pain thinking about nothing but the two of you getting back together. It'll be okay, honey. But in the meantime, if you want to do what I suggested (doing some soul searching), it would make it a lot easier if you and your ex don't keep calling and talking and emailing each other as if you never broke up. Thats my opinion Hope that helps