Cherylyn

Go online. Follow your dreams. I remember my senior year and I didn't feel connected to anyone. Sure, I had a few close friends but I wasn't fully invested in high school life in general. It seems everyone was biding their time and waiting to move onto their adult life. Senior year was "meh." 🙄

Yes indeed.

I admit that I gossip about my relatives and in-laws to a few trusted local friends whom I've known for many years. I do this in person and never electronically (no text / email / phone / social media, etc). I only do this because none of them mutually know each other, have never met and they have no intentions of ever crossing paths. All of them are complete strangers to everyone in my life. We do not share same social circles and they don't know each other from Adam. I feel completely safe with them individually. They don't know my other friends and have no interest meeting them whatsoever. They do not know my relatives and in-laws and never co-mingle with them. I confide in my local friends in person. They have my back and I theirs. I'm very blessed. I trust them with my life. They've proven and earned my trust and loyalty for many years. ☺️

I agree with @rainbowsandroses You don't have to divulge while you don't have to lie either. In hindsight, you could've said, "I have an appointment of personal nature" and left it at that. Generally, people will take a hint and they won't pry if they have common decency. If you decide to tell him the truth in the future, be prepared. He could very well look upon your lying with disdain or he could accept your lie with an explanation. Usually, people do not like being lied to and they'll either learn to distrust you overall or if you're lucky, they'll give you another chance to prove you will be honest from this day forward. This is the chance you will take. In the future, there is a way to be vague without lying.

First of all, I commend you for having a conscience. You feel guilty and how this world would be a better place if people actually thought about how they were wrong. Most people whom I know, simply continue wrongdoing and they don't care about any damage in their wake. As for you, if you want to make amends with F, tell her you're sorry for gossiping. Don't make excuses though because if you do, your apology is perceived as insincere. Realize that this apology won't guarantee resuming your friendship with F though. She may be done with you because once a person is hurt, they usually don't revert to the same friendship anymore due to innocence lost forever. Naivete is no more. She doesn't trust you anymore and you don't trust M either. It's a lose lose situation all around. As for M, I'd pump the brakes on your friendship with her. You can't confide in her because she has loose lips. Loose lips sink ships. ☹️ Lower M to less than acquaintance status. Sure, you can resume contact with her but keep it minimal and should you discuss anything with her whether in person or not, remain brief and superficial at best. She's deceitful, a snitch and backstabber. Beware. In the future, be more cautious and learn how to keep your mouth shut. You never know who will betray you. 🙄 🫢

Yes, it's possible. What do I think? It's very individual. Some people have no qualms having opposite gender best friends whereas (even though I can't speak for all couples), my husband and I have friends, couple friends but we don't have opposite gender friends. Same with all relatives and in-laws. I'm not saying it's right or wrong. It's just our personal preference, our comfort zone, what we chose and how we are. That's all. The majority of our married friends are the same way. Again, to each his or her own. I don't see anything wrong with opposite gender friends though. Whatever floats your boat. 😉

Your uncle was right to an extent IMHO. I trust some people in my life because they've earned my trust for many years. Trust didn't happen overnight. There are some people whom I semi-trust dependent on the subject matter. If it's rather insignificant and lightweight, I trust them because their responsibility to deliver my trust is doable. However, I wouldn't trust them with anything important. I draw the line and I have my limits with them. Then there are those whom I would never trust in a million years especially if they've played me meaning they've tested me sorely in the past and betrayed my trust intensely. I also don't take "bleep." In those cases, pay attention to your intuition and instincts because red flags forewarn you of looming danger. 😒 I understand how you feel though. Feeling bitter and resentful after innocently trusting someone only to be deceived, challenged and betrayed is a horrible feeling. ☹️ There are ways to trust people according to categories and topics and most of all, your experience with various individuals. You can determine different characters based upon how they treat you or mistreat you over time. I don't completely agree with your uncle. I believe not everyone is evil 😈 and not everyone is an angel 👼 either.

You can't make anyone regret anything. That's all on them. Lower your standards in people meaning people will not always behave the way you want them to for example: honorably and with utmost integrity. Nope. It's unrealistic and if they do, consider yourself very lucky. Lower your expectations in people because they won't always consider your feelings and simply don't care about you. They lack empathy which is the norm for most people. Once you accept how this world is, you won't feel shocked, surprised nor disappointed anymore because it's nothing unusual. In an ideal or optimal scenario, people do the right thing by possessing humility, make amends or at the very least, part ways with with peaceful closure. However, it's a fantasy and save that for storybooks and movies. The best thing to do is to control yourself, surround yourself with very upstanding, moral people and everyone else? They're unimportant in your life.

She had burned out after 10 years. For her: Too little too late. ☹️ Continue the great work though and congratulations on your road to good health.

That ship has sailed. It's over. It's time to move on.

Some people don't consider relationship material as friendship material. They don't want to mesh the two. They prefer separate categories. Friendship isn't lost. It graduates toward a relationship if that's the direction it's going.

You're doing a good job. Continue enforcing boundaries with your mother whether she approves or not. I am the same way. Remain adamant regarding how you've decided to govern your life.

If you're still crying and sad, many times you're still clinging to a nugget of hope and haven't quite let go yet. I can't speak for you but personally, in my mind, when the tears stop and you've had time to think analytically, this is the time when it's actually beneficial to admit wasted, senseless hope and truly let go with finality. Resolve envelopes you and you become so strong that you can no longer relate to your previous weak self. It's a positive sign that a new mindset will carry you and you'll never feel defeated. It's hard to explain. It's a process. It takes time but you'll get there. Be patient. The light will turn on in your brain and you'll realize you're a lot smarter, resilient, stronger and tougher than you thought you were. 👍

Yeah, I agree, don't have kids! ☹️ Two people can't get along if one person is doing the majority of work to maintain a household such as chores including decluttering, cleaning, laundry, cooking, errands, repairs / maintenance / replacements and repeat. It's part of life. Some people eat, sleep, work, repeat but they don't mind coming home to a dump. 🙄 If there's no food nor beverages in the home, oh well. Either continue living at this rate or do something about it. If he refuses to change by helping out, then he doesn't sound like a very good husband for the long term. Your patience or lack thereof @cuddlebunny777 will determine how much you are willing to endure and tolerate. Let time be your guide.

Bad idea. Just be a well mannered, respectful classmate. Act natural. If he says, "hello" then do likewise. If he prefers to ignore you, you ignore him as well.

I think it sounds corny. Don't get all dramatic with your long winded explanation. Just have a good time and go with the flow. Let each date define how the next date will go. Don't explain because it's unnecessary. You're getting anxious over nothing. Enjoy being with him and see where it takes you! 🙂

Ignore her back. She doesn't give you common courtesy so consider her "history." Move on. 🤨

If this is an ongoing problem and there are no kids, it's easier to part ways if the OP @cuddlebunny777 will no longer tolerate being with a husband who refuses to cooperate to maintain the household whether it be chores, errands, etc.

Do the latter and not the former. Stay the course with your career path.

Is it really worth the fight and family discord? 🙄 Be a good sport. Bring the turkey burgers. 🦃 It's just one day. Perhaps bring some extra Tupperware and ask your sister if you can bring home some leftovers for you and your wife to eat later. 🍽️ Pick your battles. 😒

If compromising doesn't work, be with the type of husband who has higher standards of cleanliness, decluttered home life, helps with errands and chores minus excuses. I realize people are tired. I've seen it amongst some relatives whom I know. 😒 Some people just live in their homes without taking care of it and it ends up looking like a pigsty. Stuff piles up, house is dirty, smells 'ripe' and it gets to the point of so out of control that no one feels like tackling it. Hence, they just live in it. Yes, it's exhausting and endless maintaining a home but it has to be done otherwise the place is neglected and sloppy. Small chores can be done and it only takes a few minutes vs. massive clean up all at once which is so overwhelming, no one wants to do it. As for nice furniture, don't home entertain. Meet at a restaurant and let someone else deal with cooking, clean up and spills. @cuddlebunny777 Save money elsewhere so you can afford a professional housecleaning service several times a month. Look at your budget and cut corners wherever possible.

He doesn't sound like a long term husband at this rate. ☹️ Either run yourself haggard maintaining the household or be with the type of husband who is considerate, helpful and cooperative.

Text frequently all day means you can't get anything done. The most productive and industrious people tend to limit their screen time a lot in all areas ~ cell phone, computer / Internet, TV, video games, social media, the whole lot. There is a lot to be said about reverting to "old-fashioned" habits such as getting a lot done without so many distractions galore. You ought to try it and will be amazed at how industrious and productive you will become. Screen time turns into a huge time trap. ☹️ Before you know it, wasted time was frittered away when you could've otherwise had gotten productive work done whether professionally, at the home front indoors / outdoors, errands, chores or whatever. ☹️

Since it's just the two of you and no kids, try professional marriage counseling and if that doesn't work, surmise that both of you are incompatible. Look at your options to go your separate ways. Either be independent or be with a man who is more cooperative and helpful without a man turning into an endless headache and project. 🤨

Protect yourself and your soon-to-be twins. Get out. Stat.