Cherylyn

The crux of the matter and the real problem here is your fiance choosing not to defend you nor get involved on your behalf. Perhaps it's out of fear as he prefers to straddle both sides of the fence. I'm sorry to say it's a selfish act because a selfless man would bear the brunt of his family's ire and risk backlash for you. A selfless man would defend your honor. <==== That right there is real love IMHO. I'm sorry to say that him not going up to bat for you is cowardly. I'm sorry that I'm not mincing words when I say that but it's the truth. No sense sugar coating it. Either accept your fiance as is, accept how his family is even if you don't like it or make better choices for your life and your future. He will not change for you. You'll have to park yourself on the sidelines regarding his family because as long as no one cares to make you feel welcome and lovingly included, you never will at this rate. If this situation doesn't bother you over time, then roll with it and learn to adapt. If it grates on your nerves and nothing is done to treat you like a decent human being, then you'll have to tolerate and endure it. I'm sorry. I know you're not trying to cause a rift. Therefore, you'll have to have the attitude of "put up and shut up" OR be with the type of man and family who has your best interests at heart.

The friendship wouldn't be healthy. It would be awkward and you'd end up investing yourself more than you should at the expense of your pain and disappointment "courtesy" of him. You need to move on.

First of all, I want to commend you for actually having guilt and remorse. Most people whom I know don't have a conscience and they're either in denial regarding their wrongdoing, gaslight me (deflect / dismiss / change subjects), simply do not care about my feelings (non-empathetic) or all of it which is infuriating. 😡 I laud you for realizing what you had done for causing your previous relationship to go awry. How this world would be a better place if more people learned from their disastrous mistakes. 🙏 Having said that, divert your thinking by being grateful for evolving and transforming into a new man and focus on the lady whom you treat with utmost respect and grace. Change the way you think. Your ex-girlfriend actually did you a huge favor. She moved on so you could realize what you had done wrong in the past and how to make it right from now on. She taught you how to be honorable and how to have integrity. She taught you harsh life's lessons. Harsh meaning learning the hard, painful way is always the best way and lessons you'll never forget. Feel gratitude instead of what could have, what you should've done and what your current state could've been. Ruminating about the past will just waste your time and energy on what doesn't deserve your brain space. Don't live in the past. Enjoy your current love of your life 💗 because in the big picture nothing else truly really matters.

I say tread lightly. Don't bombard her with texts otherwise you'll be perceived as over zealous and weird. Have allure and be a bit mysterious. Too much familiarity breeds contempt. Wait to see her in person which will be refreshing. I would say the only time to text is to nicely confirm date, time, location shortly before meeting such as a day or two prior. Don't over do it with electronic communication.

Unfortunately, you can't force people to like you. I'm sorry your fiance's family or future in-laws continue to give you the cold shoulder. Btw, no compliments for your cooking or casserole was unkind. My mother said silence or silent approval is the sincerest form of flattery. As for what to do? Just be peaceful, calm, well mannered and respectful. Either they'll come around one day or you may opt to be in non-attendance at gatherings of your choice. You don't have to attend all of them. They sound arrogant and aloof. Some people don't care about you. They couldn't care less. Regarding the dinner with his son and girlfriend, if they don't want to include you, it's their choice. You don't want to be there if you'll feel unwelcome. The issue is your your fiance and his enabling his family's cold behavior. He's the one who should speak up, have your back and defend you yet he does nothing which grants permission for his family to continue acting frosty towards you. Also, your fiance should support your inclusion to dinners with his son and his fiancee. He doesn't mind excluding you. Perhaps he's adverse to standing up to his family which happens. If your fiance refuses to by your staunchest ally, then you need to determine if this is the type of man you wish to marry. Nothing will change when you're married to him. Either make changes now or accept the situations as they are.

I'm sorry. That ship has sailed. It's doubtful to get him back as he has since moved on. The best you can do at this point is co-parent.

If anyone talked to me like that, I'm gone and never coming back. 😒

Ghost him back. Move on as did he.

Cancel the engagement and wedding.

Dump the chump. What a loser. ☹️

This isn't about your girlfriend. The real question is about you and your choices in a woman to be your girlfriend. Couples are paired up based upon their preferences. If you're uncomfortable or disapprove with her lifestyle choices such as where she goes, whom she's with, what she wears and what her habits are and even guys hitting on her, then perhaps this isn't the type of woman who is best suited for you, your lifestyle, habits and ways. Generally, two people are compatible and in lockstep in order to have a smooth relationship without observations or complaints. I'm not you but I highly doubt I'd like it if my husband went out with his friends to a club or bar, wore provocative clothing and acted as he were a swinging single where there's loud music, gambling and questionable characters crawling out of the woodwork. It's not about trust nor insecurity either. It's about not meshing regarding similar lifestyles and how we behave. If you love her no matter what, then she'll do what she will and when she comes back from LV, you pick up right where both of you left off. If it bothers you that she does what she does and guys having the opportunity to hit on her at an obvious singles scene, then perhaps she's not the one for you long term. That is what you need to focus on. Cut through the thicket and zero in on the crux of the matter. 🙄

Live and learn the hard way which is always the best way and best education. Everyone says, "I wish I knew then what I know now." 🙄 You'll be better prepared in the future and will navigate your life wisely. You'll be better adept at sound decision making. This is what life's lessons taught you.

I'm sorry Cynder. A lot of times the kindest cut is the cut you do for yourself so you can have a good life and so the other person can be responsible for however way his (or her) life unfolds. Relationships should be healthy, not taxing. You did the right thing. Even though my story is not the same as yours, I ended associations if they were a drag, very high maintenance, burdensome, an imposition or downright painful and cruel. I can take it to the next level with other major offenses. Various reasons run the gamut. Anyway, take good care of yourself @Cynder.

Be honest, tell the truth and have a calm, nice, sweet conversation with her. Romantic and considerate gestures would be a nice way to express how special she is to you. Ladies notice, too. Stuff like opening doors and having her pass through the door before you, helping her if she needs any type of assistance to prevent tripping, a fall or if she needs to steady herself. If it's a hot day, offer to pay for a beverage. Be selfless and considerate. Believe me, ladies love a man who thinks of her and not just about hugs and kisses either. It's more than that which will grab her attention! Find out when her birthday is and do something nice such as treat her to a meal, go out for a picnic, buy a reasonably priced gift or something you know she would like, a greeting card with a nice handwritten message and the like. Be kind, don't interrupt when she's speaking, have good manners. Don't blurt out foul language, control your temper or frustration, be a gentleman through and through. People watch what you don't say and what you don't do. Say "please" and "thank you" for anything. Try to be consistently nice. A lot of people may think it's not a big deal but it's a big deal. Have her get to know you as an honorable, very decent human being. In other words, earn her respect in you and your relationship with her will thrive. Good luck! 🙂

If Krystal wants to be friends, then be friends. If it's not awkward to be friends, then be friends. However, it's not advisable. Usually once the relationship ends, the association ends but I'm not you and both of you should do what both of you are comfortable with.

Of course, it's a verbally abusive comment and very cruel and mean. No, it's not normal. As long as your friend gives excuses for her fiance's cruel behavior, she gives permission for him to continue abusing her. As long as she is with him, she continues to enable his unforgivable behavior. She should give the ring 💍 back, cancel the engagement and wedding. He's a loser. You could tell her it will only get worse should she marry but really, it's not your life. It's her life and her choice. Unfortunately, she is the one who will face harsh consequences for her decisions. She will make her bed and now must lie in it. I know you don't want her to have a misery filled future but she will navigate her own life; not you despite your good intentions.

He sounds weird, sneaky and immoral. He sounds like he gaslights a lot, too. It's all bad. 🥵 You can't change him. Either accept him as is or there is the door. It's your choice. He sounds like a bad apple. I hope someday you can be with the type of husband who is of solid character and whom you know is a decent and honorable human being without any shadiness on the side. ☹️

In the future, take your friends up on it and join them. Don't miss future opportunities to be with a few girls you know from school. Don't be self conscious even though it's easy to do. Most people don't care what others are doing especially at an amusement park. They're too busy having fun and going on rides. No, you're not an overreacting brat. If you have good communication with your dad have a discussion with him preferably in person. Hopefully, he'll give you moral support. Chin up! 🙂

That was a typo. I meant if you cannot agree on household finances, then don't be in a relationship with her. Both of you are incompatible and co-habitating with her is a failure.

If you're afraid to approach him due to his temper, you'll continue enabling his bad behavior. Since you don't have children, you will have more options to leave more conveniently in comparison to having children already.

Nonetheless, explain more thoroughly to him so you can have a lucid verbal discussion with him.

Let it go. If he's chill, then you be chill. If you regret it, don't do it again and keep moving forward.

Ask him why you can't get an answer from him.

Stop these feelings because he could cheat on you, too. That should be your wake up call.

If there is no future, there is no reason to be in a relationship with her. Time to go your separate ways.