welsh12345

Yes it's the same person. It's so frustrating because I've had no contact he came up to me on the street and sadly I agreed to let him talk although he had nothing to say in the matter we just went over it all. Should I message him before blocking him to tell him?

Good morning, 2 months ago I had a situationship with a friend. He wasn't ready for commitment but too many feelings were attached. He travels a lot and so we went no contact. Upon his return he'd message and say I'm back in the area. I ignored the message but last night I was out walking and he came up to me (2 months later). We spoke for a while when all I tried to do was avoid it. We went over everything again and ultimately nothing has changed. He doesn't want to lose me as a friend but nothing has changed he made comments like I hoped you'd moved on now etc. Taking none of my feelings into consideration. It ended with me saying we can't be friends he said for now I agree but I can't face him again. It hurts too much. I wished him well and happy Christmas etc... he talked about how he's made new friends here (I was his only one before the situationship). I feel like I need to block him but feel the need to say something before I do I just don't know how to word it. Something like please don't come up to me on the street... by all means say hello but after 2 months of NC I feel like I'm back to square one and it hurts beyond belief. What should I do?

Thank you both. I'm done now. Had a good sleep and chat with friends. He's not a bad person but I have been led up the garden path. He always knew he didn't want a relationship but still pursued. If our friendship meant anything then he would have prevented it. All what ifs now... thanks for the dating advice but I think I'll stay single a while. Have a breather. He's really worried he's lost a friend according to our mutual friend but I can't even think about him or that. It's space... and plenty of it I need because I think I was in love with this guy.

Sadly yes... I don't know if its him on the initial friendship I'm clinging onto what I do know is we have one mutual friend and navigating that is hard. Blocking seems brutal but might be the only way.

Hello... I've posted historically regarding a situationship I developed with a friend of 5 years. He always maintained he didn't know what he wanted but continued to pursue me and I let him. I had no feelings initially but by now I've fallen hook line and sinker. I've chased and tried to be everything he wanted yet he's not ready for a relationship and wants to continue sleeping around. He's 31. What hurts is he says he has feelings for me? Says he wants to see me then says no we need space a clean break. I then find myself suggesting a break and then asking to see him only for him to tell me no one of us has to do this break to allow us to move on. It's been going on 4 months and today is the end but I feel weak and pathetic. He isn't emotionally intelligent and I tried to give him everything. Now he's decided he needs space. He's my friend of 5 years but I ended the conversation with this: I just want you to know there's nothing I wouldn't have done for you and you've lost a good person in me. I don't hate you and never will but this has really hurt me I hope you find yourself and I wish you all the best moving forward. He then replied : thank you and the same to you. You don't need to tell me what I've lost because I already know it could have been special but one of us had to cut this off to allow us to move on. Take care too. I know I need to delete and move on but I'm heart broken. I probably sound weak but I just need to know there's nothing else I should say? I chased too much and I feel I should apologise for that. Should I just block? Advice please. He hasn't appeared remotely upset at any point. I wear my heart on my sleeve.

So just an update last night I cut off all contact with him. I didnt hesr anything all day and when he finally called last night he said i wont and cant commit to even replying to a message i salend him. That told me all i needed to hear. I dont believe hes as emotionally invested as I am although he says he is. He moved to my town and i have done so much for him but now hes away travelling its like he can switch off. He was gutted as I always said I don't want to lose him as a friend but I'm so emotionally invested that I can't handle just friendship now so I sent him a message saying I loved every minute of my time with him, I'd totally fallen and I was too emotionally invested for a friendship. I wish him nothing but luck and that he's an incredible person. Its broken my heart but I hope I've done the right thing. When I said those things via text he never replied but at least I laid my cards on the table. Your advice here has really helped me so thank you.

Whilst I agree with everything being said here... I'm not indenial to the fact that he's not into monogamy. He's a great person and I know I will inevitably end up hurt which is why I know a relationship is never going to happen. It doesn't change the fact that I have feelings for this guy. Its hard to just switch those off. He's away for a while now and even the little messages I receive etc have started to die down. It's the harsh reality but I know I'm better finding out sooner rather than later. I wear my heart on my sleeve and that can and has been opened up to abuse. I know what I have to do it's just incredibly hard. What I do believe though is that he will one day realise what he's lost and by then I'll hopefully be with someone more compatible to me. Thanks again for all the advice. Its a really hard situation and not one I've had to navigate historically. It's new waters.

Totally agree thank you. What I will say is for the last 3 months this has gone on he has stayed totally faithful to me even if the urge has been there. I will be cutting it off and hopefully a friendship van develop down the line. Thank you for all the responses.

Thank you for the feedback. Some of that was hard to read because he's a good guy. He's been nothing but honest all the way through. And is seeing a Councillor with regards to his commitment issues. I know that a relationship is out of the cards right now but I'd be gutted to lose a platonic friendship and this is what I know I need to navigate. I appreciate all the replies. Thank you so much.

So I've been friends with this 30 year old for 3 years. Never felt anything more than friendship then we went away together and something happened. In the weeks that followed We both realised we felt something. Fast forward a couple of months and we found ourselves spending more time together in and out of bed. He's always stated that he doesn't feel monogamy is for him. He enjoys travelling and his freedom too much yet he has this intense feeling for me that he's not had before and is totally confused. I'm emotionally stable and know I really like him and what I want which is for us to date. We are chalk and cheese... total opposites but we get on. Sadly and ultimately he can't commit to me. We've had the 'talk' several times but are still drawn to each other. He's left today to go away for several weeks and whilst I will miss him tremendously I know it's needed. In fact I already miss him yet don't feel like I can say thar. I am falling for him but know deep down no matter how much he likes me I can't make him commit. He agrees I need to move on but I really feel like I'm giving up on something that could be special. Maybe I'm looking at it through rose tinted glasses but it's all kind of happened organically. Also, because he can't grasp these feelings he throws out many mixed signals. It's almost like he wants his cake and to eat it. I don't really fully understand it. Last night we had such a special night together and I knew it would be the last time. It always seems like he's battling with how he feels about me and his commitment issues which make him pull back. Neither of us want to lose our friendship but I'm really struggling to navigate this situation. Its quite heartbreaking. I've only really scratched the surface but that's the jist. Any advice would be gratefully received. Do I go with it? Cut of communication? Try to do just a friendship? It's really hard with intense feelings but until he knows what he wants I'm stuck and it could take him years. If he likes me as much as he says he does... how can he contemplate sleeping with other people? I told him I think about sleeping with him... he tells me he thinks about sleeping with me 80% of the time and random others 20% of the time. This hurts but I know he's just being honest. It's just hard to know what to do for best