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Hi, I’m new here! I have a conundrum, I am 28 years old and gay, I have never been in a relationship with any gender. I am out to friends but not family. I met someone on tinder, he’s a few years younger but mature, has a masters degree and works in a professional role. we spoke for a few days and met up, went for a drive, got coffee and listened to music, a month later, we’ve gone out, hung out a lot, however we’ve not kissed, or done anything more, however he would drop hints like “I hope you don’t snore because if you do I will smother you with a pillow” and similar comments while we banter. when we started messaged we asked what the other is looking for, and both agreed to go with the flow, that way there is no pressure. (His tinder profile did say “still figuring it out”). so I sent a well worded text stating that I like him and just wanted to know whether he was on the same flow as me, and reassured him I’m not asking for a relationship or commitment right now and if there isn’t a mutual feeling then I’m better knowing now so these feelings can be worked off. he responded stating he does like me and he is interested in me, however he made a promise to himself to better his finances and his MH and he isn’t sure what a relationship would do to that at this moment. I reassured stating that I am happy just to know that we are on the same wavelength, and reassured I am there with regard to his Mental Health and evidenced my support to achieving his life goals. since then we’ve gotten on as normal, continuing with the flow. my question is: How do I work towards convincing a relationship with me will not affect his goals and his MH. what do I have to do or show? flirting etc what can I do? again never been in a relationship ever.

I met my current best friend of 2 a bit years back in 2021, we met online in a dating/hookup aspect, we spoke for months before meeting up and exchanged ideas of relationships, in-fact we built a relationship solely by text and call and social media. eventually we met up, we sat in a car park and talked and kissed and it was amazing, we both felt our hearts beating ten-fold, the next couple of meets were the same, until he had told me he didn’t think he was ready for a relationship and wouldn’t be able to see us in one for a while or ever. This broke me a little but we agreed to stay friends. after a couple months of being friends he started talking about a friend I didn’t hear him talk about before and it wasn’t until a little while after I found out it was his new boyfriend, I became so soul destroyed. anyway 2 years down the line, I barely feel the anxiety of unrequited love and I have gotten used to this boyfriend… Until…. They break up (literally last week) now the feelings are back, but worse because he’s cheated on his boyfriend with another guy I knew who worked with me, this made me so angry and sad, I still love him as my best friend but I thought he’d come back to me after. now don’t get me wrong I know he has every right to choose who he likes, loves and fools around with, I also support him in his ventures on dating apps right now and be his bestie who he gossips to, but it’s killing me inside knowing the person I love, I mean literally love, doesn’t want me any more than that of a best friend. Despite everything I have ever done. how do I stop these feelings