Cherylyn

Save your breath and energy in all forms including in person, texts, emails, voicemails, etc. No one will change for you. A person is who they are. Either accept her as she is or find another woman who dresses chic and modestly. No one wants to be told what to do. People usually dress to garner attention. Either it's to impress due to good taste or they want to look desirable and sexy. Usually, provocative dressers are insecure and crave attention in order to fill a void. Don't lecture her. You need to find a woman who is compatible to you and she is not.

With all due respect, you're only 23 years old! Live it up! I remember when I was 23 years old and old age was NEVER on my radar! I was extremely busy having a great time! Enjoy your youth to the hilt. Old age will creep up on you one day so you might as well take advantage of your youth now while you have it. Concentrate on being young because it will never come back. One day, you'll look back and think you've wasted far too much time and energy worrying about old age when you could've enjoyed your youth instead. Life takes on many, different seasons and stages in due time. In the meantime, concentrate on what most 23 year olds do such as focusing on your education, career and take good care of your health. No need to fret. Think positively.

B) and C). It's only been 3 months. Give it time. Get to know each other better including personalities, characters, quirks, likes, dislikes, idiosyncrasies, etc. Perhaps she prefers that you initiate messages because you're better at electronic correspondence than she is. I've known quite a few people who are much better in person than texting, messaging, emails and voicemails. They're even better in person than phone chats. Maybe she doesn't have any good ideas for dates so she defers to you. I think the best thing to do is to ask her if these issues bother you. Either tell her that you would like for her to message you first every now and then or don't say anything. Either tell her that you would like for her to come up with dating ideas or don't mention it at all. Be nice about it. Don't sound demanding and commanding otherwise she'll want to break up with you. Clear communication is important. If anything is bothering or concerning you, then let her know how you feel in person. Don't go back 'n forth electronically for what you should say to her in person and remember to be a good listener, too. Hear her reasons.

I see several red flags. First of all, the thought of "giving up on her" entered your mind at 3 months and then you told her that she should prioritize time together. Even though she agreed to try to communicate in different ways, no one enjoys being told what to do. I hope it works out for you. It seems that both of you are not in lockstep and there isn't a mutual understanding with maintaining this relationship in a normal, harmonious way. I hope with time, both of you will find a good rhythm. Keep in mind, not to read too much into a person's inability to communicate electronically the same way you do or expect. Not everyone has the finesse to correspond carefully. I've known several close people in my life who write bluntly, tersely, roughly and rather abrasively. Manners are sloppy. However, in person, being with them is very pleasant, humble, enjoyable and comfortable. Perhaps she falls in this category which is common. Also, some people are flaky. I have friends whose schedules can change and I try my best to be accommodating and understanding. Many times, you have to look at the big picture and ask yourself if you can remain patient instead of trying to be "right" all the time. I understand the principle of the matter. However, you also have to look at the longevity of relationships or friendships and have a selfless attitude in order for everyone to be happy. Every dynamic has sacrifices somewhere in order to make it work. This is the part where you need to decide if it works for you or not.

I think you're being overly needy and overbearing. Go with the flow and be easy going. Don't have any high expectations because with her, plans can change due to sickness or other plans she had forgotten about. This is her personality. If you don't like it and her schedule is too zany for you to keep up with, then date another woman who is more predictable, sends you warmer communication through messenger and willing to see you more often. On the upside, she introduced you to her family which means she thinks highly of you and she wants you to have dinner with her family again. Whenever anyone wants you to be with her family, she doesn't perceive you as her mere passing fancy so you should feel honored that she thinks this highly of you. Hopefully, you left a positive impression on her family as well. Keep in mind, not everyone is warm and engaging electronically. Some people are better in person than giving you or others constant, warm correspondence. I've known several people who are perceived as blunt electronically yet very kind in person. Some people aren't adept at correspondence. 3 months is nothing. Give her a chance. Then determine if you're patient enough to remain in her life. If she has too many shortcomings for you, then perhaps she isn't for you and it's time to move on. Since she's at your place of employment, avoid awkwardness by remaining natural, kind and professional.

Thank you maritalbliss84 for your mourning dove pic and what you wrote. Thank you for sharing your story about your son raising the baby dove and setting it free. Wally is a cute name, too. ❤️ Unfortunately, we had to bury a baby dove which fell out of its nest last year. The surviving sibling eventually flew away though.

I have a hummingbird feeder outside my window in my back yard and I'm especially grateful for Spring. I need to refill the feeder often. We use clear liquid for the feeder which doesn't have red dye in it. I too enjoy seeing birds and butterflies. I've seen a few colorful birds outside my son's bedroom window. We also have a mourning dove nest outside my enclosed front door courtyard area. We have eaves and I'm impressed by the very sheltered location they chose which protects them from predators, wind, rain, cold and heat. The mourning doves have since raised several fledglings. They make a melancholic cooing sound.

I'm sorry for your loss. I hope time will heal your wounds someday. Pain is always acute shortly after the passing of loved ones. I hope you can do things which will improve your physical health such as healthy eating and exercise. Good habits will help you handle stress better. Also, I hope you can do other things such as immerse yourself in healthy distractions, hobbies, reading and the like. It helps to turn all electronics off, go offline, stay away from social media, computers, cell phone, TV, etc. Give your brain a mental health break from excessive screen time which turns into a huge time trap. You'll waste your day on the Internet. During my previous bereft state, I turned everything OFF and was amazed at how industrious and productive I became. I had postponed so many tasks and chores such as decluttering, organizing and getting my life in order. Once I became organized, I could actually think more clearly without chaos, disorder and junk surrounding me. I hope you will continue to grow closer to your sister without bombarding her with your sorrow. Exercise discretion. I'm sorry your daughter is distancing herself from you. You are a mother of kids so you have no choice but to take care of them which in many ways is a positive distraction. I remember when my sons were little. I didn't have enough brain space for grief because I was frenetically paced tending to them which was to my benefit and hopefully yours, too. Get fresh air, take a walk and don't be cooped up indoors. Remaining sedentary is so bad for your mind and you will go crazy with misery. I've found that whenever I'm super busy, I'm super distracted so I no longer have time and energy to dwell on sad, negative thoughts. By the time, I have time to think about any depressive thoughts, I feel so exhausted that I want to sleep instead.

Can't you just say, "NO" ??? No shower, no teeth brushing = no sex. Yes shower, yes teeth brushing = yes sex. Be adamant and speak up. Teach him how to treat you with respect.

Happy Birthday! 🎉

Congratulations on your retirement and job well done! 🙂 I would develop a routine if I were you. Continue getting up early, take your dog for walks twice a day, be industrious with chores and tasks, concentrate on your health, eat well, rest, engage in hobbies, read great books and surround yourself with moral friends and family even if virtually. When this pandemic is over, volunteer in your community. The volunteerism is limitless. Do charitable good works. Help at a food bank, feed the homeless, donate your stuff (& declutter), help the disadvantaged, volunteer at your local library and do what is rewarding to you. If you're faith based, join your local church. There are plenty of ministries to join, serve, belong to study groups, social groups, be part of community serve groups and the like. This new stage in your life will be an adjustment to be sure. You'll grow to enjoy these new phase in your life.

Merry Christmas and Have a Happy New Year!

I'm an anxious person. Exercise daily whether it's walking, cycling, aerobic fitness (within moderation to prevent overuse injuries), changing your diet so you'll feel better, lose weight if necessary and having good interactions with very moral, upstanding people or friends and work around during this COVID-19 pandemic. Do what you enjoy whether it's hobbies, cooking, decluttering, organizing your home, read books, watch good movies, documentaries or whatever you can immerse yourself into. Don't sit too much because it's bad for your health. Never stagnate your body otherwise your brain will turn into bubblegum or mashed potatoes. Get your blood circulating and get moving!

On cable: 'Rocky' and 'Hacksaw Ridge.'

What's annoying me today and lately is my sore neck and painful arm. I'm trying to keep my spirits up though. This is on top of losing my 14 yr old dog to cancer 2 mos ago. I hope to feel better after 6 wks of PT (physical therapy) and take better care of my health. It could be worse so I force myself to be grateful and count my blessings.