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FrozenMoon

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  1. Thank you all so much for your replies. I realize I never responded to this thread again, but I did read all your answers at the time. And they helped. Hearing that 23 is still considered very young, that there's nothing wrong with focusing on friends and studies instead. The things I suppose I just needed someone to tell me. Even now, I sometimes come back to these replies just to read them again. To reassure myself, in a sense. So thanks a lot for sharing your thoughts. Most of the time since then, I've been able to just focus on living my best life and putting these concerns aside. For
  2. I'm a college student, 23 years old. My last serious relationship ended when I was 19. I'm doing great overall; wonderful grades, lots of social contacts, many hobbies. Should anyone ask me if I'm happy, my answer is a definitive yes, and for the past few years I've genuinely been living my best life. The only thing one could argue that I 'lack' is a romantic relationship. As I've learnt, I can be perfectly happy without one. And when not confronted with it, it's not an issue. But recently, I've had friends enter into relationships left and right, seen many beautfiul (glorified, I know) rel
  3. I'll be honest, that first paragraph made me laugh a little, if only from how true it is. I have a few friends who dated in their teenage years and are still together, but I know they are the rare exception. The teenage romances I did personally experience only lasted a few months at most, and more often than not just left behind a mess. I guess looking at it that way, it's maybe better it didn't happen. Overall, I see your point. I suppose it's best I just continue treating him as a friend without going out of my way to try and make into anything else. I'll just focus on enjoying the compa
  4. Haha, yeah, you make a good point. What mostly stuck with me from all these years ago was how nervous he was inviting me over. That, alongside a few other things have given me the image in hindsight that maybe there was something going on there, but I've 1. never confirmed this and 2. we've been out of touch for years afterwards. I have nothing, nothing at all, to go by now. He might not have any interest and for all I know there never was any to begin with. The reason I think this bothers me so much is the uncertainty. I'd rather just have a solid no than to be stuck in my mind with could'
  5. Long story short, I went to a public event early 2014 where I met a bunch of people that would turn out to be a very dear group of friends for me. Among them was a guy that I've considered attractive from the start. We didn't talk one on one all that much at first, but we eventually began texting frequently, played online games together, and one time he invited me over to watch some movies together with him. Looking back at our interactions now, I have very strong suspicions that the attraction was mutual. But at the time I was 16, young and inexperienced, and didn't dare to ever bring it up.
  6. I should probably also mention that I'm monogamous myself, so by all means I'd still have to choose one out of four (well, three now) if I did decide to pursue anything. Thank you!
  7. Hey, I actually haven't thought about it that way, haha. Thank you! And thanks to everyone for sharing your thoughts! We'll definitely be back to all being peers after these two courses. What's bothering me though is, wouldn't it be weird? When I think back to my previous student assistants (excluding the two I'm now attracted to for obvious reasons ), I don't quite think of them as teachers per say, but they do retain a different label than most other students. E.g. one of my assistants from last year is currently in class with me, and to this day, I can't think of him as anything else
  8. Hey guys! I just want to get something small off my chest. Nothing big, just something I want to ventilate and that maybe other people will recognize. :) So it's been a while since my last actual relationship (I'm talking probably 2, 3 years). Sure enough, I've dated a few people in the meantime, but nothing's worked out so far. Which, overall, that's fine. It'd be nice to run into someone, but I don't need a relationship to be happy, and most of the times that I'm affected by it there's something else going on in the first place. But it recently occurred to me that in the last +/- 10
  9. So previously, I've made a couple of threads about a friend of mine who I nicknamed G. About two months ago, I was absolutely heartbroken about a situation where I developed feelings for him but wasn't able to do anything with them (for reasons I won't elaborate here as it's a long story). I never told him a thing about this. It was the same period of time I permanently split ways with my friends from university, and much was at stake. I was in doubt about many things. One of these was naturally whether it was mutual -- which was hard to see with him as he seemed to be completely ignorant of t
  10. I've actually been thinking about this as well. I share most of his hobbies, so that should be fine -- but this shutting down (if your guess is correct) made me feel so unwanted. I believe I'd be able to work with it if I understood what it is and why it happens, but right now it's got me stuck between thinking he either wants to see me but doesn't know what to do, or doesn't want to see me but doesn't know what to do. I can only hope it's the former and your interpretation is correct. If it is, another concern might be (theoretically; I think it's time for me to finally decisively weigh my
  11. My god, everything's a mess now. I don't know if anyone remembers my previous thread (it's very long, so to put it short: I'm 99% sure I developed feelings for a friend at university, I thought one of my best female friends did too, it was very unlikely he'd reciprocate said feelings and in order to not mess up anything within our mutual group of friends -- which only had so many guaranteed weeks left to spend together, given we're nearing the end of our common study and we'll no longer be in the same place -- I deliberately didn't act). So last week it happened. We had our grand finale as
  12. Apologies for getting back to this so late -- last week's been very chaotic, and I haven't really found the time to sit down and write previously. Hoping my replies won't turn out too long.. Yes.. I definitely agree. I'm just very afraid to communicate it to him directly. He clearly enjoys being around me, frequently initiates contact and often invites me over to his place, but he's giving me plenty of signs it's nothing more than friendship. Admittedly, he's the kind of person who just doesn't really seem to be searching for romantic relationships in general. Really just does his own t
  13. (Before I launch into this, just a little heads up that my previous thread has little to nothing to do with this problem. Yes, chronologically it happened in the middle of this, but for the sake of not making this any longer than it is already I'm leaving it out. It's not too relevant anyway.) I feel so lost. Like there's no way out of this. I'm tearing up as I'm writing this, no more than five minutes after I still pretended to be happy and optimistic around my friends, trying so hard, hoping, sincerely hoping they would just not notice anything. My life is great overall -- if not for e
  14. It went pretty well! I was very scared there'd be awkward moments, but that really was no problem at all! We first got something to drink together (which ended up taking much longer than expected because the conversation kept going, haha) and then headed to the zoo. Admittedly, about halfway the day, there was a while in which we both didn't really know what to talk about anymore, but the silences weren't uncomfortable as there was a lot to see. What I've noticed in these moments that the hardest part seems to be finding a topic -- but once the topic is there, conversation flows nicely (and
  15. Ah -- yeah, you're right! Every now and then, I've been having these thoughts telling me this is too good to be true and there has to be a catch. So far, I've been pushing these thoughts away to the best of my ability, although I have wondered if letting my guard down like that is the right thing to do. But of course, what you're saying about his efforts and everyone having a type is very true; I should be confident knowing there's a good reason we got to this point at all. Who knows, he might be thinking the exact same things I am! Haha. Thank you for addressing this! I think y
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