LarryFlanders

Thank you for your response! I'm doing my best to stop living in the hurt. Day by day.

Thank you for your reply. This all went down roughly a year ago. I thought I'd be a lot further in my healing journey at this point but I allowed her to continue to poke her head into my life numerous times. Feels like I'm starting over now. I'll get there

Thank you for your advice. I really appreciate it.

Thank you for your response. Praying I reach this point.

I really appreciate the advice. Learned something similar in therapy and it's been helpful. Thank you

^ That is how I've operated for the better part of a year. I think the "hope" was the only aid to the pain at the time. I've got her blocked everywhere now. However, even with blocking her, I still have this weird hope that she tries to contact me so that at least I know I wasn't so easily replaceable. If she ever found some way to contact me I would ignore. I know that feeling is still holding me back. Just my ego I guess.

Thank you for the kind words! I'm definitely going to come back to read this a few times.

I appreciate your advice. Trying my best to put the pain behind me. Thank you.

Appreciate the advice. Thank you!

Agreed. Trying to take it day-by-day. Still having some trouble dealing w/ the feelings of being discarded and left behind. Appreciate your response!

Thank you for your response. I appreciate the advice.

Thank you for your insight! So you don't think they can change? I was given a whole slew of "reasons" for her actions. Including the textbook cheater responses of feeling unwanted, disconnected, etc. Part of me thinks that this new partner could just be a better fit. He'll get all the great things about her (which there were a ton) minus the cheating aspects.

Around this time last year my(29M) ex gf (25F) of four years tested positive for an STD. Turns out she cheated on me at least twice. I’ll probably never know the full extent. There was so much gaslighting and lies on her part that I genuinely believed her cheating to be my fault. I was in so much pain that I just ignored the truth and tried to make it work. She ended up leaving a few weeks later and I immediately entered NC with the intent that she’d regret and come back. (foolish) Over the last 10ish months she has contacted me roughly 15 times or so. We even met up a few times early this year and hooked up. She called me last month (drunk FaceTime) for the first time in a while. We talked, and again I played the part of the people pleaser and discussed some areas I fell short as a partner. She told me she missed me, loved me, asked me to come over (I didn’t go), etc. We meet up the next day and she basically says she’s about to enter a new relationship and wants to make amends. Says she only called because she felt guilty. I blocked her on everything after that. Felt totally manipulated. I now realize how much of a doormat I’ve allowed myself to be. I basically let her wean off of me for a year. I tried to be the “bigger man” and not shame her for her actions. I know the best revenge is “indifference” but I really want her to have some regret. Or at least realize how wild her behavior is/was. Feels like she got away unscathed and gets to enter a new relationship with “an upgrade” while I’m barely re-building my self confidence. Any advice is appreciated. I’ve definitely learned a valuable lesson though…If you get cheated on just go ghost immediately and leave them with their thoughts.

I agree. I know personally I would never inflict that sort of disrespect on anyone again. Is it bad that I want that adage to be true for her though? Lol.

Thank you. Sometimes it is hard to see the situation objectively. I only say "winning" because it seems that her life is all peachy now, new friends, fun trips, new partner who seems more her speed. Just doesn't seem like there will be consequences for her. But like you said. Karma is a B. Time will tell. Thanks again!