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annie24

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Everything posted by annie24

  1. annie24
    Ditto - "sexy" is not the image you want to portray. Instead, dress nicely, but not "sexy." Ask them questions, listen to them, laugh, have fun. You will look more like "girlfriend material" doing these things instead of acting sexy.
  2. annie24
    Sure, I think you could call him. Make it a friendly and light phone call - you know like, oh - I was just reorganizing my address book, and I came accross your number and I thought i'd give you a call. If he is nice to you on the phone, and doesn't mention having a gf, then sure, suggest that you two meet over coffee sometimes. Obviously, he may have moved on or has a gf, or whatever. So, don't take it too hard if he doesn't return your call or go to coffee with you. At least you then will know how he feels, and then you can feel that you did everything possible. Yeah... sometimes, the timing is just off. Good luck!
  3. annie24
    Hi - I'm sorry to hear about your pain. Honestly, it sounds like he's not interested in you romantically, and that he really doesn't want to be your therapist either. Like punchy said - don't drop your problems on him. Call one of your friends that you know will support you. Or talk to a school therapist. If you know that he is wrong for you, it will make it so much easier to get over him. good luck!
  4. annie24
    hehehehe.... whoever said the kid was his!
  5. annie24
    hehehe.... he might have heard some stories of multi-million dollar settlements. Well - sounds like a great motivator for fidelity!
  6. annie24
    Well.. no.... I see your point. I do think it's rather strange that after cheating on his fiancee with you for so long, that he would suddenly decide he'll be faithful to her from the wedding day on. I think that the faithful types wouldn't have been cheating on their gfs all along... So, what got into him? I dunno - I guess he just "snapped" and decided he wants to do the right thing. Maybe she's pregnant, and he wants to try to be a better man and dad now. Did he suddenly get religion or something? Like DN said - I have heard of several people who believe that "anything goes" up until the day the rings are exchanged. I wouldn't be surprised if a few months after the wedding, he decides he wants to participate in extra-ciricullar activities again. What's the saying.... "A tiger doesn't change its stripes." A question - are you two going to be continuing the get-togethers up until the wedding day? Just wondering....
  7. annie24
    Welcome to eNotalone. Well - if you are looking for an objective reply - how about this: regardless if he's really changed his views on fidelity, or not, the bottom line is that he told you he wants to stop the "sleep-overs". That's the end of the story. I think you should respect his decision, and find someone else for you. Good luck.
  8. annie24
    That's good! Well - ultimately, you can't help what you feel. There are plenty of girls out there who have not had plenty of partners, so I guess those would be the best matches for you. I like it how phrescklesrsexy said it: Good luck!
  9. annie24
    I think both daywalker and butterfly bring up good points. You know, Diana was beautiful and royal, but Camilla's the one who won Charles' heart. Love and emotions are funny that way. Like Daywalker said - he's made his decision (even if it was stupid), so all you can do is just take a deep breath, and move on from him. Like butterfly said - he's drawn to her, despite her 3 bfs for some reason. Let him enjoy his messy relationship. You just take care of yourself, and you'll find someone who will love and appreciate you for who you are. Good luck!
  10. annie24
    Alright - how about this - say that a girl has slept with 2 men a year, for the last 5 years, which equals a total of 10 men. I don't think that makes her a woman of bad morals.
  11. annie24
    Argh. Alright, well, i still don't agree with that. Okay, I'll walk her home - that's it, if I get myself some coffee to-go oh well, it's dark anyways - she needs to be safe. That's my excuse and I'm sticking with it. Though, I'll make sure NC is the focal point of our conversation. It was my longest relationship so I haven't even learnt how to deal with something 8½ months long yet. Well, I'm actually already planning a trip to Europe for 8-12 months. So that just might work out. I was talking to her about doing a "long-distance" relationship for while I was there. What does that sound like to you? Hahaha, oh I like that! 8) "Long-distance" while you are in europe? Honestly, I think this is the most ridiculous idea I've ever heard. Dude - she broke up with you! What are you doing? It's over! I strongly agree with Richgabe. I know that this is your first love, and that first love is very powerful and it's hard to know how to get over a relationship the first time you break up, but you need to stop this now! She broke up with you. You should take some time to heal, stop being so clingy. When someone breaks up with you is not the time to be planning a long distance relationship with them. It's over! Where to meet new girls? Anywhere! If you go anywhere, you'll see that 50% of the population is female. Meet a new girl - at work, in school, a neighbor, whatever. But not right now, you need to heal first. And yes, trust me, you're not the only one on the planet that can take her to the beach.
  12. annie24
    erm.... yeah. Don't date girls with bfs. NEXT!!!
  13. annie24
    It hurts a LOT more at first... You just have to say no. This is ridiculous. Of course NC hurts a lot more at first, but it's easier than holding onto something that doesn't exist for years. Trust me, I've been there. When I was 18, my bf and I broke up, but stayed friends. (He broke up with me.) I spent the next several years pining away for him. And you know what it got me? Nothing. If I had it to do all over again, I would have taken 6 months, all to myself, to get over him ENTIRELY. And then later, we could be friends, when the romantic feelings were gone.... You need to say no. For his sake and yours!
  14. annie24
    Hi - I was wondering when you were going to come back here. You're right - you're 40, you're not getting any younger. So, what are you going to do about it? Despite the fact that your wife won't have sex, I think it's not cool to have an affair behind her back. I really urge you to either divorce her, or go to counseling with her. Or, tell her about your affair, and if she is ok with you having sex with other women while staying married to her, then go for that. But I think that all this dishonesty really isn't a good thing. Like I said before, I understand your motivations. But now, it's time to set things right.
  15. annie24
    Look - there is an unavoidable element of hurt when it comes to break-ups. It's like taking off a bandage. Doing it fast hurts a lot at first, but then it's fine. Taking it off sssslllooowwwllly really hurts, and it hurts for a long time. Take it from us who have been there: you are only hurting someone more in the long-run if you keep things going like this. Doing NC may hurt at first, but in the long run, you two will both be emotionally healthier in a few months.
  16. annie24
    Well of course this guy can't let go when you said you two just slept together 2 days ago. Of course things are not over in his head!!! I'm sorry to be so harsh, but I think that's a very manipulative thing to do to someone. If you want to be together, then you work things out, and if you don't want to be with them, you break up, and you don't invite them over to your place to spend the night. How to do NC? Easy - you don't pick up the phone!!! You let the answering machine get it. Look at the quote on my signature: "Our problems cannot be solved by the same level of thinking at that created them." What you've been doing is not giving you satisfactory results, so now you NEED to do something that will work. Yes, NC requires a lot of self-restraint, but it needs to be done. You two sound like a toxic combination. In the future, after you two have dealt with your issues and heartbreak, you can be friends. But for now, you two just need some time apart - get your heads on straight.
  17. annie24
    I really think one of the worst things you can say to someone at this time is, "I love you but i'm not in love with you." It's really a load of crap. If you're dealing with somone who doesn't want to let go, this is the worst thing you can say to them, precisely because it DOES give them false hope. What you need to do is be firm, and do NC. And for God's sake - stop sleeping with him and having dates!
  18. annie24
    I was here first! Yes... the smell is leaking out of my keyboard and into the room. Phew!!!
  19. annie24
    Oh honey - I think you did the right thing. I can smell the fishiness all the way over here! I've been in a similar situation a few years back, and I've gotta say, trust your gut. There is definitely something going on between Mr. Perfect and Ms. Friend. It's good you left sooner rather than later... Why does he miss you so much? He obviously has a movie buddy and a date on new year's, so he can't be THAT lonely. I hope you meet another Mr. Perfect who doesn't have a "Ms. Friend"! Good luck!
  20. annie24
    hehehehe... I pick the guy who spent all summer playing video games, crying in his room, and ate cheese-doodles...... NOT!!!! Peace corps is a great organization, but you do need a college degree, or you need to be much older with lots of work experience. Yes, travel. Get out of the country - have some experiences. Live life. Meet Italian babes. If you're going to wallow, you may as well wallow on some beach in Greece.
  21. annie24
    Ok - how long has this lack of intimacy thing been going on? If it co-incides with the new job, then yes, punchy has a good point.
  22. annie24
    Yes. I agree with Iceman and Falucci. Something's up. This is not normal behavior ... saying he wants his "gf" to act more like a friend. My guess also is that there's someone else in the picture. Like Falucci said - don't let things go on. Tell him that you aren't happy in this relationship as things currently are. See what happens. Good luck.
  23. annie24
    "I'm breaking up with you" isn't enough of a goodbye? Yes, I realize that you want to say it in person - but there's really no point. I believe in breaking up in person, but you're already broken up. You need NC, so just pick up the phone then and cancel the beach event. She can go to the beach with another friend, and so can you. Yes, trust me, it happens to us all. Everyone has good and bad times in their relationships. Just because you broke up doesn't mean that things were always bad, there were good times too. But, the relationship clearly wasn't working out for her.
  24. annie24
    Dude - she broke up with you! She broke up with you! She broke up with you!!! That sounds like enough of a good-bye right there!!! Here's what you do, give her a call, or send her an e-mail saying, "Sorry - I can't meet you for coffee, or anymore for a while, until I get over this breakup. In the future, we can be friends again, but for now, I just need to heal."
  25. annie24
    You are in no emotional state to be friends with her. You are clearly still in love with her, even though you have said she has lied to you. She broke up with you - I think you need to accept the reality of the situation. You need to do no contact to get over her. In the future, when you are TRULY over her, you can be friends with her. But, in the meantime, you need NO CONTACT.
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