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annie24

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Everything posted by annie24

  1. annie24
    Is this the same guy that told you he didn't love you after 15 months of dating? I think he's a bonehead. Time waster. Fugghetabouthim!
  2. annie24
    Ok - I know - we're starting to sound like broken records. I'll just say this, and you can believe me if you want or don't. Dragongirl724 had a good post a while back on "methods to win back an ex." And then she went on to say that there is no sure-fire way to win back an ex. They only will come back if they want to come back. That said, there are ways to improve your chances of winning him back. I swear - they work. Not always, but sometimes. #1 = no contact. They have to miss you. Not forever, but at least a good while. They have to see what their life is like without your love and support. #2 = You must be happy, cheerful, and living a good life. No one wants the messed up ex. #3 = definitely no presents or cards or little things like that. Remember - that's what gfs and bfs do, and you're not the gf or bf. True, you said you are now his "friend", but a friend would just put the card in the mail, and not obsess. Gradle - We've been following your story. Trust me, it would make me so happy if you told us tomorrow that he came to your door, crying, with roses and chocolates, begging for you back. And you two live happily ever after. I really want to hear that. But to make it happen, I gaurantee, you'll be setting yourself back by getting yourself in his life like this all the time. NC, and at most, mail him the card! For example, what if you go over to his place, and he gets a phone call. He says to the other person, Hey - let me call you back in a few minutes. You'll spend the next few weeks wondering if that's a new girl or his coworker or whatever. You'll just stress yourself out. He'll find out about you some other way. Like all the time, people say, "hey - I saw your ex at the bookstore yesterday. He lost weight" or whatever. His friends will see you around the neighborhood one day, hopefully looking fabulous with a handsome man on your arm. Just leave him be.... We're only saying this because we want things to work out well for you..... but if you need to see the results or non-results first hand, then go ahead.....
  3. annie24
    Ok - sorry - I'm going to cut into you here... "desperate" is an ex stopping by to drop off a birthday card, despite the fact she got broken up with. Think of a woman you really admire, a powerful woman. Do you think Angelina Jolie goes to Billy Bob's house to give him a birthday present? NO! She's too busy traveling the world and snuggling with brad pitt. What about Condelezza Rice? Is she driving to her ex's place? No! She's too busy making world policy. At most, Condi would have her staff person mail out a generic card. If you really want him back, you have to be strategic. And the dropping by the apartment is the wrong strategy. But... if you need to do this... then go ahead....
  4. annie24
    Well... the thing is, I can relate to your situation, because I've been there a few years ago. Apparently, Muneca is quite the stalker! "I'm outside your apartment." EEK! But, I think what we're trying to say is that we've been there, and the birthday tactics didn't work. When I say "work" I mean, that didn't bring our men back. We'd just like to save you from the same lesson, but like muneca said, some things you may have to learn on your own. I have had an ex come back to me, and he contacted me after I had moved on with my life. Are you afraid if you move on, that if/when J comes back, it will be too late? It was too late for me and my ex, because by the time he came back, I just had too much of his crap, and I couldn't go through it again. I think if you want to show him how happy you are, send a short internet greeting. He will find out through friends that you are happy and are moving on. Trust me, he'll be more intrigued if he hears snippets of how happy you are from others, rather than seeing you in person at his place.
  5. annie24
    A very strong second to everything Muneca has said here.
  6. annie24
    Remember gradle - the man who does want to see you and talk to you and install your AC is the guy that you're very non-chalant around. Your indifference is driving him crazy. I think you should start applying some of this indifference towards J. It will have better effects than the dropping by the apartment with a birthday card. Use the US postal service. Or yahoo greetings. But there is no reason to drop by his house to deliver a birthday card. That's what the mailman is for. Remember - he's your ex. He has taken full stock of your qualities, and decided he's no longer in need of your company. (To paraphrase "he's just not that into you.") This is not the man that you should drop by his place to give him a card.
  7. annie24
    If you are going to do the B-day card, don't drop by in person, like Hope said. You're not giving him a chance to ... uh... be broken up from you. If you are going to give him the card, mail it, or send him a greeting from link removed. Don't be intrusive. Besides, he may have other plans on his birthday, you know, other friends he is planning on going out with....
  8. annie24
    Wow. I learn something new every day!
  9. annie24
    well good - I'm glad you're getting back on track. I just brought up the ring because you said you were having some financial difficulties, and selling it sounds like an easy way to come up with a good chunk of money.... especially to pay her back all at once.
  10. annie24
    Tell him nothing. Have you considered doing NC on him for a while - I really think it would help clear the air.
  11. annie24
    So, what are you going to do with the ring? Sell it, try to get your money back? Can you return it to the store?
  12. annie24
    It's ok - it takes time. You just have to do your best to get through one day at a time.
  13. annie24
    that's a really strange comment. I don't know what that means. Are you sure that's what he said? Maybe he meant "no one-night stand with a girl I meet at a bar." "too good for that" is just really strange - that makes no sense to me. Too good to move on and start a new relationship? Yes, he will start dating, if he hasn't already, regardless of whether you're dating or not, like Hope said.
  14. annie24
    And don't forget gradle... you've been a few dates yourself since the breakup....
  15. annie24
    Oh sorry - the way I understood it, she kept the ring.
  16. annie24
    But she kept the engagement ring....
  17. annie24
    yup yup yup - you know the answer to this one. BAAD idea. Your co-worker is stupid. Slap her for me, will you? Why is she saying stuff like this to you? Who knows if J has had relations with someone new. He may have, he may not have. It doesn't really matter - it's not your business anyway. And besides - info from 3rd parties is not reliable anyways. People will lie, one way or another, to have you think what they want you to believe.
  18. annie24
    Some banks will cash post-dated checks anyways, well, at least some in the US.
  19. annie24
    Danimal - she isn't going to think that. What she is going to think is, "What a chump! Paying me back money that I gave him as a gift, after I sold my engagement ring!" And then, she's going to take the money you're giving her and buy a plane ticket to New Jersey, to see her new boyfriend.
  20. annie24
    I don't think you're stupid. I think you're emotions are getting the better of you this morning. C'mon - you're a lawyer - what would you advise a client who told you what you've told us? You'd say, you don't owe her anything, legally or morally. Put down the checkbook.
  21. annie24
    Sorry... I don't want to sound disrespectful, but I think you would be the biggest fool if you send her this money. I don't know the value of all her stuff she left at your place, and I don't know how much she gave you as a GIFT, but it sounds like she owes you money, once you do the math. You are a lawyer, I presume? You went to law school. You should know better. I think sending her money would be as foolish as me sending my credit card company more money than I owe and saying that it's "the right thing." It's not the right thing. It's just stupid.
  22. annie24
    No - read what I wrote again. She OWES YOU $2000!! And you said what she gave you was a gift!!! Put down the checkbook. Go to the pawn shop. Or eBay. What you are doing isn't "making you the bigger man." You owe her nothing.
  23. annie24
    Danimal - if you purchased the engagement ring, but the engagement got called off, depending on where you live, the law may require her to give back the ring. That is because legally, an engagement ring is considered a "conditional gift" on the condition that the wedding actually goes through. But, you went to law school, so you should know that. Actually - it sounds like you shouldn't even bother sending her money, in that case. Pawn her stuff. She owes you $2000 or the ring back.
  24. annie24
    You are absolutely right. Yes, she may have a medical condition. You're right - it's more about being sensitive. Thanks duchess!
  25. annie24
    I agree muneca. I've tried sending exes b-day cards... and it didn't lead to any results other than "Thanks!" They didn't even bother to send me a card for my birthday... well, actually, one did, but he got the day wrong. Oh yea, and it wasn't a real paper card. It was an e-card. On the wrong day.
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