HaloDestroyer

It takes the relationship to a new level; making the two participants (I assume there are only two!!) more intimate.

Well that would be your opinion. We are all allowed opinions, correct? This is a difficult situation, and the topic of much recent debate, by the amount of messages posted. It seems that the general conclusion is; 'lesson learned'.

If you read the rest of the posts, we've been over this many times. They were both wrong; her to sleep with this guy, and him to seemingly tell everyone. It has already been debated.

People who think like that obviously have no respect for others. Even though they broke up, they're still in a relationship. Just not a boyfriend/girlfriend arrangement. The right time is when you're in a comfortable relationship with someone, and are planning for a future together. One-night stands aren't really great, whichever way you look at them =/

Uhm... we went through this... The whole.. 'relationship' after the break-up?

Uhm... I'm not sure, but I think you're making this out *bad pun* to be something it's not!! You're thinking about it too much. It just... happens. Just go for it. She'll let you know what she wants.

What instrument does he play? Tell him you've always wanted to learn, and maybe suggest he gives you lessons sometime?!

combat_barbie, Why were you wondering what would cause the man you slept with to act in such a way?! You already know the answer to that question. You were drunk, and he 'nailed' you. I'm sorry this turned into a fight, as I have already said, but I felt offended at the way this thread was turning out.

If he was sober, and the instances of these 'jokes' were less frequent, you could put them down as just that; friendly, playful jokes. However, in this case, it seems extremely disrespectful, from the way you describe it, anyway.

I agree with Sli 75%. Well done all, an outstanding debate!

I'm not attacking you personally RayKay. I just said I was offended by the way men were initially being attacked in this thread. 'Adults' can have discussions without labels? Isn't the word 'Adult' a general label? *Giggles* I'm just messing with ya! But seriously, I didn't like the way the thread was turning out. Everyones' input is valid. But sometimes, some people phrase things in a way as to point the blame at a selected party, without technically doing so. I take offense to that, too. No-one reads threads to be offended. Especially one entitled 'guys please read', or slang to that effect. I thought the poster wanted help, but actually she only wanted a discussion on the flaws of man. Whatever, I respect everyone's opinion. I just had something to say.

A bit contradictory; sleeping with someone else the day after you broke off a relationship is easily as bad as telling your friends about how you 'scored' last night! The issue is, exactly as many people have put it, let it be. She's learned her lesson. But, MY issue was that I'm fed up of some people having double standards, when it comes to what men do v.s. what women do, and namecalling, and so forth. Infact, it's more specific than that, I was sick of the women in this thread having a real go at the guy in this situation, and by default, men in general. I wanted to put accross MY PERSONAL VIEW, which is women are easily as bad as men, always have been, and at best we're equal. thereforeeee, don't use one guy's actions in a single situation to judge him overall, because that's not fair. The girl in this situation acted equally as badly. But also don't judge men overall, because it offends me personally. I like to think we're all different, and I don't expect to be offended as I'm reading the forums, ok? We're both right! Both the man and the woman in this example have possibly acted without respect, and at worst, badly, so they are both to blame. So thanks for everyone who participated, but is this not getting slightly off-topic? Sorry for causing such a fight! I was angry!

Nothing is wrong with being a feminist. I just personally have a problem with them. After all, this IS my PERSONAL OPINION. It's not the fact that she slept with him. She is perfectly within her rights to do that. It's the fact that she slept with him the day after coming out of a relationship. You are also right, why shouldn't he keep quiet? I guess that's down to personal respect levels, but I suppose he just had to tell someone how he 'scored', so to speak. She is only bad for sleeping with another guy the day after coming out of a relationship. The act of casual sex does not make her bad by itself.

This is just a reflective post really... I'm close to marriage at the moment... And... Well, these kind of posts make me want to rethink. How much can I trust my girlfriend? Really? When there are multiple women having affairs, and meeting men who make them 'feel more alive' than their husbands? People who do this.... WHY? It makes me personally so insecure, and also a little mad at the men and women who engage in adultery. Sorry, just my thoughts. Carry on!!

You should definitely talk to her about this. Why let the (potential) opportunity slip through your fingers. Just make sure you speak your mind, and listen to her response. If you don't, you'll regret it forever!!

Is it me, or are we in the company of feminists?! Vert is right, a relationship DOES exist. You can't cut someone out of your life completely just because you break up with them, and sleeping with someone else the night after is basically a slap in the face. We're replying to the first post, not the whole thread. But I have read the posts too, and the fact that this guy brags about having sex with her just seems to make me think 'Well, what did you expect'? She meets a guy she doesn't know that well, and after a few drinks, he 'nails' her. What do you expect him to do? Keep it quiet? Why should he? He doesn't know her. As SL put it, he had sex with her. Period. I guess it just seems to suggest that she might have done this out of spite towards her ex, rather than as an act of free will. Just my input. I also dislike it when you rip apart my posts and analyse my advise... I'm as qualified as anyone on these forums to give and receive personal opinions, and I feel slightly disrespected when you do it. Sorry, hope it helps. ***EDIT*** Only just noticed this line. SL, you are 100% right. 'Lessons learned'.

I totally agree with Day_Walker. If she is irresponsible enough to get married early, have a family, and a partner who provides everything she wants, and then throw it all away, then why does she even deserve financial support? That aside, she definitely needs to see that her quality of life; and her kids' quality of life - would decline without her husband to support her.

His wife 'recently' did a lot of things... Do we know timescale? You say that she wants 'passion' as well? Could it be that she recently sampled 'passion' on her little holiday with her friends, and found someone new/wants a change? Thoughts please.

That may be so, but in my opinion, my post was completely justified. While they are not in a relationship per se, as you have already stated, emotions are running high. Even though the poster is not with her ex anymore, that doesn't mean there isn't any relationship at all. She can still hurt him, and by all means, vice-versa. The poster is responsible for her own choices, but does her choice not, infact, make her irresponsible by default? I'm by no means trying to start an argument here; merely looking at a few alternative angles. P.S.; The poster herself had a go at men. 'Why do men do this?'. That's what I'm responding to, the post, not the thread.

I think it would be best if you let him handle this. Let him come over and visit. He might back out at the last minute, even, by the way you describe his behaviour, so you might as well let him make the decision.

Have faith in yourselves. I can only hope that both your situations resolve in a manner that benifits all.

Just be yourself, and let it happen... If this girl wants anything to happen, she'll let you know. If you try to force it, you'll both end up in a position *Bad pun, sorry!!* that you may well regret later on.

Can we stop talking about 'guys' and 'girls'? I feel really disrespected when all the female members on the forum have a go at 'men'. I respect females in general, and would never do that to anyone. Also, the fact that you 'wound up having sex' with 'some guy you don't even know', the day after you broke up with a boyfriend of 14 months doesn't put you in a very good light. I'm sorry it's rant time, but every single person is different. They might act in similar ways, or wear similar clothes, or say similar things, but everyone has something that makes them an individual. How could YOU do THAT to your ex-boyfriend? Shouldn't YOU have waited? ... Just thought I'd stick up for myself here...

You obviously do care, otherwise you wouldn't be so desperate. I think, from the way you describe it, she *is* just being shy. Find out what she likes, and take an interest!! Hope it helps...

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