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Thread: Do women like short men who are older? Is there any hope there?

  1. #31
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    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    You haven’t even said how tall you are. Average is about 5’9.

    I am 5ft6; I hear saying that anything under 5ft10 is not attractive; my friends who are taller than 5ft10 do not have the same problem as me. A few of them even have like 5 girlfriends at the same time; they play with girls' feelings and do not care, which I do not like! Having said that I would say these girls are partly responsible for their fate. They are all focusing on 20% of men (the tall ones); therefore competition is tough and they end up being hurt; they could broad their requirements by looking at less tall guys but they still do not do this. In my 20's I been puzzled by this unfairness of things in life. I still remember a few years ago in my 20's when going out with these friends in bars; I was making efforts to approach girls, talk to them, getting to know them but was unconsciously making the mistake to introduce them to these friends while we were in the bar; a lot of the time the result was that these tall friends ended up jumping on the girl and the girl would not be respectful of the fact that I am the one who approached them and who has shown interest in them. It happened to me a few times; the guys were just laying back and waiting for me to do the hard work, and then take the girl in the end, with no mercy for me. Both these guys and the girl are to blame here. When I realised that I either made these guys aware in advance that they shouldn't cross my targets and I have always thought twice before introducing them any girl which I am attracted to.

    In the past these tall friends of mine tended to believe that I don't know how to speak to women and were making fun of me too; until now that many years have passed and they start considering my issue seriously. I think you need to be a short man to better understand what another short man feels. If you are not short as well then you will just pull out the classic say, which is:
    be confident
    be ok with your height
    dress well
    take care of yourself
    bla bla bla

    I do all these things naturally! I have always done these things. And I have put more emphasis on that even more but the gain is very minimal! The truth is that this height thing is crazy and I would say not just women but generally speaking short people tend to be blamed or excluded. People will say short men are not confident but in my case this is not true; otherwise I would have not achieved everything that I have achieved so far. Women make short men's life extremely difficult by discriminating on the height. If women or any other person do not consider short men enough then no surprise these creatures will have more hard work, right?

    My other friends who are around 5ft8 and who are in a relationship have done this for the sake of being in the relationship; they just took a woman and put her home and any occasion that will come up (if they find better) then their relationship will be at risk. I don't wanna go down that route because they are not honest with themselves and also these women do not deserve this.

  2. #32
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    Dating is inherently "unfair' - it's not supposed to be fair because people are entitled to have their preferences, and to decline dates for whatever reason -and there's no entitlement to date or be in a romantic relationship. I had my preferences including values about educations, what degree the person had accomplished, financial stability, a healthy, fit lifestyle, no smoking, etc.

    People who play with other's feelings aren't really dating -they're just treating other people with disrespect so please don't compare that to healthy relationships.
    I'm not short but I had small breasts which was a downside in many instances, I wanted to be a mother so -no men who didn't want children or more children - etc. Of course people understand how dating is hard because most people have to work at it and be proactive. I had to for about 24 years on and off till I married. I was in serious relationships during part of that time but sure I had to subject myself to the harsh reality -at times -that some men wouldn't date me because of what I looked like or because of what my future goals were, or because how I sneezed during a date. It's the reality -and focusing on fairness will just give you a tummy ache. If your goal is a long term relationship I think dating is worth it and sometimes a part time job. If you are not looking for something long term I don't think all the work of meeting people and dating is worth it -it's not fun enough to make it worth it. But that's just me.

    Good luck. My husband is right around your height by the way.

  3. #33
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ChrysChrys
    I am 5ft6; I hear saying that anything under 5ft10 is not attractive; my friends who are taller than 5ft10 do not have the same problem as me. A few of them even have like 5 girlfriends at the same time; they play with girls' feelings and do not care, which I do not like! Having said that I would say these girls are partly responsible for their fate. They are all focusing on 20% of men (the tall ones); therefore competition is tough and they end up being hurt; they could broad their requirements by looking at less tall guys but they still do not do this. In my 20's I been puzzled by this unfairness of things in life. I still remember a few years ago in my 20's when going out with these friends in bars; I was making efforts to approach girls, talk to them, getting to know them but was unconsciously making the mistake to introduce them to these friends while we were in the bar; a lot of the time the result was that these tall friends ended up jumping on the girl and the girl would not be respectful of the fact that I am the one who approached them and who has shown interest in them. It happened to me a few times; the guys were just laying back and waiting for me to do the hard work, and then take the girl in the end, with no mercy for me. Both these guys and the girl are to blame here. When I realised that I either made these guys aware in advance that they shouldn't cross my targets and I have always thought twice before introducing them any girl which I am attracted to.

    In the past these tall friends of mine tended to believe that I don't know how to speak to women and were making fun of me too; until now that many years have passed and they start considering my issue seriously. I think you need to be a short man to better understand what another short man feels. If you are not short as well then you will just pull out the classic say, which is:
    be confident
    be ok with your height
    dress well
    take care of yourself
    bla bla bla

    I do all these things naturally! I have always done these things. And I have put more emphasis on that even more but the gain is very minimal! The truth is that this height thing is crazy and I would say not just women but generally speaking short people tend to be blamed or excluded. People will say short men are not confident but in my case this is not true; otherwise I would have not achieved everything that I have achieved so far. Women make short men's life extremely difficult by discriminating on the height. If women or any other person do not consider short men enough then no surprise these creatures will have more hard work, right?

    My other friends who are around 5ft8 and who are in a relationship have done this for the sake of being in the relationship; they just took a woman and put her home and any occasion that will come up (if they find better) then their relationship will be at risk. I don't wanna go down that route because they are not honest with themselves and also these women do not deserve this.
    My step dad is 5’6 “ and was married twice. My son is 6’1” and he has had no girlfriend since he has been an adult. True he is very young but also extremely introverted. My step dad, extremely outgoing and always was.

  4. #34
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    Originally Posted by ChrysChrys
    I was meaning to say, for the population of women who are so fussy about men's height (I would say 95%+ of women), do these women accept short men when these women become older? Like 35 years old? Or do they still look for tall men at that age? Note: I am assuming here that these women will be facing short men at age 35+ as well. When these women and short men are younger these women reject short men but when these women and short men get older, do these women still reject short men? So basically, how does the height criteria for women change as they get older?
    I see. Your title is a bit misleading it sounds like you're asking if women like men who are both short and older than them.

    Again every woman is different. If a girl goes for the tall guys for vanity or peer pressure, then yeah, they could grow out of it as they become more mature. But if it's their natural preference then it's less likely to change. I prefer taller men, and that hasn't changed since I started to develop an interest in the opposite sex. But like I said there were times in my life where I was incredibly attracted to "shorter" guys and at that point, their height no longer matters to me. So, even among the women who prefer taller guys, it is rarely a determining factor. It is the whole package that's important. Of course there will be women with rigid standards say they won't even look at guys below 5'10 - so what? Their preference doesn't mean you're of less worth, it simply means you're not their type. Still plenty of fish in the sea.

    Be careful not to develop a resentful attitude toward women because "they all go for the top 20%, they deserve to be played with." Bitterness is not attractive. When a girl chooses a taller guy over you, accept it with grace and don't try to make things feel better by attacking her or his personality (she's superficial, he's a player, etc. etc.). Look elsewhere. Bars are unfortunately an environment where people assess one another primarily by looks. The few times I took a date from a bar/club it always turned out we had little in common. Since you have more to offer, try to expand your social circle and meet people in other events, volunteering, group sports, book club, etc. Lose those "friends" who have dubious moral values and make fun of you, and definitely don't settle for any women just to be in a relationship.

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  6. #35
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    Originally Posted by SophiaG
    I see. Your title is a bit misleading it sounds like you're asking if women like men who are both short and older than them.

    Again every woman is different. If a girl goes for the tall guys for vanity or peer pressure, then yeah, they could grow out of it as they become more mature. But if it's their natural preference then it's less likely to change. I prefer taller men, and that hasn't changed since I started to develop an interest in the opposite sex. But like I said there were times in my life where I was incredibly attracted to "shorter" guys and at that point, their height no longer matters to me. So, even among the women who prefer taller guys, it is rarely a determining factor. It is the whole package that's important. Of course there will be women with rigid standards say they won't even look at guys below 5'10 - so what? Their preference doesn't mean you're of less worth, it simply means you're not their type. Still plenty of fish in the sea.

    Be careful not to develop a resentful attitude toward women because "they all go for the top 20%, they deserve to be played with." Bitterness is not attractive. When a girl chooses a taller guy over you, accept it with grace and don't try to make things feel better by attacking her or his personality (she's superficial, he's a player, etc. etc.). Look elsewhere. Bars are unfortunately an environment where people assess one another primarily by looks. The few times I took a date from a bar/club it always turned out we had little in common. Since you have more to offer, try to expand your social circle and meet people in other events, volunteering, group sports, book club, etc. Lose those "friends" who have dubious moral values and make fun of you, and definitely don't settle for any women just to be in a relationship.

    Okay; thanks for your answer. I will watch this space although I already know that there are certain decisions I will never make.
    I am also a bit scared to have kids to be honest; if a have boys who have the same or a lower height than mine it can be disastrous for them. I wouldn't be happy to expose any human being to such a hard life time. They could hate the parent for this.
    I am also thinking about adopting a shorter child and maybe teach him my learning of these experiences; that would be a great thing to do! I discover this problem myself at 29; nobody told me anything; if I had known it earlier in life I would have suffered less.
    Thanks again

  7. #36
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    I'm don't want to dismiss the stress and disappointment you've gone through, but do you think you might be possibly over obsessing about the height thing?

    Did you know that everyone has a very hard time finding someone decent to date? It's not all based on height. There are a million reasons why someone is not the right one for you.

    Maybe you're focusing too much on this issue. You only need one who loves and accepts all of you, and trust me, it's not an easy thing for find, for anyone.

    Yes, lots might be able to find dates, but do you also realize that many of those dates fall flat and go no where? Finding true love is very difficult and takes sometimes many years of searching to actually find.

  8. #37
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ChrysChrys
    Okay; thanks for your answer. I will watch this space although I already know that there are certain decisions I will never make.
    I am also a bit scared to have kids to be honest; if a have boys who have the same or a lower height than mine it can be disastrous for them. I wouldn't be happy to expose any human being to such a hard life time. They could hate the parent for this.
    I am also thinking about adopting a shorter child and maybe teach him my learning of these experiences; that would be a great thing to do! I discover this problem myself at 29; nobody told me anything; if I had known it earlier in life I would have suffered less.
    Thanks again
    When you adopt someone how do you know they will be short? You can’t know that. My son was tiny tiny tiny as a kid in stature and weight. Now at 22 he is 6’1” and 210 pounds.

  9. #38
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    At 4 my son still could wear baby snap up clothes and was 28 pounds.

  10. #39
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    Originally Posted by ChrysChrys
    I am 5ft6; I hear saying that anything under 5ft10 is not attractive; my friends who are taller than 5ft10 do not have the same problem as me. A few of them even have like 5 girlfriends at the same time; they play with girls' feelings and do not care, which I do not like! Having said that I would say these girls are partly responsible for their fate. They are all focusing on 20% of men (the tall ones); therefore competition is tough and they end up being hurt; they could broad their requirements by looking at less tall guys but they still do not do this. In my 20's I been puzzled by this unfairness of things in life. I still remember a few years ago in my 20's when going out with these friends in bars; I was making efforts to approach girls, talk to them, getting to know them but was unconsciously making the mistake to introduce them to these friends while we were in the bar; a lot of the time the result was that these tall friends ended up jumping on the girl and the girl would not be respectful of the fact that I am the one who approached them and who has shown interest in them. It happened to me a few times; the guys were just laying back and waiting for me to do the hard work, and then take the girl in the end, with no mercy for me. Both these guys and the girl are to blame here. When I realised that I either made these guys aware in advance that they shouldn't cross my targets and I have always thought twice before introducing them any girl which I am attracted to.

    In the past these tall friends of mine tended to believe that I don't know how to speak to women and were making fun of me too; until now that many years have passed and they start considering my issue seriously. I think you need to be a short man to better understand what another short man feels. If you are not short as well then you will just pull out the classic say, which is:
    be confident
    be ok with your height
    dress well
    take care of yourself
    bla bla bla

    I do all these things naturally! I have always done these things. And I have put more emphasis on that even more but the gain is very minimal! The truth is that this height thing is crazy and I would say not just women but generally speaking short people tend to be blamed or excluded. People will say short men are not confident but in my case this is not true; otherwise I would have not achieved everything that I have achieved so far. Women make short men's life extremely difficult by discriminating on the height. If women or any other person do not consider short men enough then no surprise these creatures will have more hard work, right?

    My other friends who are around 5ft8 and who are in a relationship have done this for the sake of being in the relationship; they just took a woman and put her home and any occasion that will come up (if they find better) then their relationship will be at risk. I don't wanna go down that route because they are not honest with themselves and also these women do not deserve this.
    Sadly, I think it is your attitude or poor choice in women. I know plenty of men who are your height and most have partners.

  11. #40
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    Originally Posted by ChrysChrys
    Okay; thanks for your answer. I will watch this space although I already know that there are certain decisions I will never make.
    I am also a bit scared to have kids to be honest; if a have boys who have the same or a lower height than mine it can be disastrous for them. I wouldn't be happy to expose any human being to such a hard life time. They could hate the parent for this.
    I am also thinking about adopting a shorter child and maybe teach him my learning of these experiences; that would be a great thing to do! I discover this problem myself at 29; nobody told me anything; if I had known it earlier in life I would have suffered less.
    Thanks again
    I woudn't adopt a child to "teach him" about what you learned being short - that's not really how it works with individuals -especially kids - we facilitate what they are interested in so if he were to ask you what it was like you could share with him what it was like but not in a didactic way - because most kids don't absorb things like that - and they know instinctively when someone has an agenda. Also your child might love his height or love boys or not care or whatever. My child is 11 and will be shorter than average. He's not thrilled with it. I have zero regrets having him -we all have perceived imperfections or things about ourselves that are not our favorites. I notice a number of my friends have kids around his age who are overweight or worse. He is not. Could be genetics I guess.

    I agree with Holly G -it's your negativity that is you getting in your own way.
    My son is 11 and will be a

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