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Everything posted by Danmarko

  1. As someone has mentioned already I would tell the truth, but not because he has a right to know. Because he needs to learn to be able to deal with his obvious insecurities and retrospective jealousy. If he can't then moving forward in to marriage will be very difficult for a number of reasons. When he knows the truth let him have his scream and shout when he's done tell him if you want to move forward that's the last time your prepared to talk about it. If it wants to dig it up again he needs to talk to a therapist about it as it's his problem and he shouldn't be making it yours. This is not a unique thing as many people are jealous and insecure about their partners past. Men can especially be affected by it because they want to be your best lover, they will measure and compare themselves to your previous partners. They judge you on how many men you've slept with and will continue search for answers. Often when they get the truth it plays on their mind and sours a relationship because of their insecurity. Think carefully about how you want your life to be and don't enter a union with someone that will using your past against you.
  2. Definitely done the right thing, she's vile and selfish. Don't ever let her in to your life again. She's a nasty person.
  3. Some mothers have a lot to answer for. You have every right to have a loving mother and every right to be loved. This is purely down to her and how she's projected it on to you. I feel so sad for you as it's going to be very hard to recover a relationship with your mother. Naturally you will feel resentful to have been blamed for this and denied love. My mother put me in to a children's home at 6 months and told her other 2 children 3 & 5 at the time that I died in a fire. I honestly believe some women should never have children but that's another story. You could do with speaking to a good counselor and get rid of this idea it was your fault...it never was!
  4. Just be polite and brief, Hi Thank you very much for a nice evening, however to be honest there was no spark for me. Wish you well Regards Marilyn
  5. Nothing new really, us the tax payers in the UK have been paying the Tories mortgages for years. Our local Conservative MP had a flat in Knightsbridge in his wifes name and a big country pile mansion back in the Cotswolds. He claimed his 'expenses' which paid for the flat. Half the Government are doing it.
  6. Seraphim he's only looking out for his mothers interests with regard to her flat. Naturally she's every right to feel cautious about her sons partner/possible wife who knows what the future holds for them. She doesn't want some stranger taking half or more of her property. The last property I bought in 2005 with my now ex wife for £500K my solicitor suggested investing £50k from a my autistic brothers trust fund instead of having a small mortgage of £50K which we did. When we split in 2009 she wanted a 50/50 split of that £50K on top of her 60% share of the estate all fuelled by greed and a father in law that fancied a trip to the USA and a new car. I wish I had made arrangements to protect myself more. It happens...
  7. In an Ideal world we would all love to have a marriage that can last 31 years, till death us do part! However the reality is that a great number of marriages do fail leading to financial hardship and squabbling on both sides. It's not pessimistic to be prudent, especially when your dealing with your mothers investment and her future. As the flat would pass in to your name for the remainder of the mortgage there are many scenarios that could arise in the future that could leave both you & your mother facing hard times. Don't let a relationship/ marriage breakdown become one of them because you didn't take the necessary steps to protect yourselves.
  8. I think it's only right for you protect your mothers interests which ultimately will become yours. Who knows what might happen in the future regarding your relationship! Money turns people's heads and hearts. I've experienced it from all sides. These people that say you shouldn't be considering going in to relationships thinking about what happens to your assets when it goes wrong have clearly never been through the financial ruin of a divorce separation. Take it from an old hand and do what needs to be done to protect your mothers flat. Its prudent & wise to do so.
  9. Not much you can do, wait it out and leave him alone. If it starts going in to weeks rather than days its probably over between you.
  10. Sorry I've edited my post it didn't make much sense at the start. At 7 months I was a complete mess! Drinking myself to sleep most evenings, taking strong anti depressants. Not eating properly either. I'd gone from owning a 1/2 million pound house to living in my car followed by a miserable bedsit. As I said your doing well, no time limits. Be kind to yourself where and when you can 😊
  11. 7 months in my opinion is still very early and by what you've said you've come a long way. After my loveless marriage broke up I met someone and fell head over heels in love with her. We were only together a couple of months, it took me best part of 5 years to get over her. There are no rules where matters of the heart are concerned. All credit to you and your bound to have the odd wobble now and again.
  12. I think it's a silly term to use around exes. When it's over it's over. Your not going to pop down the pub or go bowling with your (I used to sleep with you we had a relationship) 'friend'. I had an ex who pretended to be friends with all her exes. The only reason she did so was to use them for one favor or another. Incidentally one them did so on a friends with benefits basis. Scrap that idea and leave him in the past, no sense in this pretend end to a relationship.
  13. Irrespective of whatever gender relationship one is in, violence and abuse is never acceptable. Sometimes we put up with it for a number of reasons however you just can't tolerate it. You need to cut all ties with this person, he sounds horrible, get rid of him.
  14. First off I'm sorry that your going through this how utterly awful, upsetting and disappointing. As for taking a sedative and not remembering writing a sexually explicit text is complete BS. That's just to ease her guilt and making pathetic excuses rather than accept what she's done. Ultimately if you can't get beyond this it's the end. Personally I couldn't trust someone not to do this again. To write out all those intimate details to another man clearly shows a desire to do them in my mind. I would have to end it and conclude that that's not the type of person I want in my life. Furthermore will this the kind of thing that she turns to everytime you have a disagreement about something or have to face up to challenging times.
  15. I'd put good money on the fact something was happening between your bf and this other woman whilst you two were still engaging in your relationship. Seen this many times and had it happen to me.
  16. Sounds like nothing & something....in other words more detection and investigation. There's enough there to spark your concern!
  17. The only way for you to move on is to remove all traces of her, gifts etc bin it all. Block her number or change your sim. You have to start healing as she'll probably be with a new guy soon. You'll need all your strength then.
  18. All this 'friendy friendly ex' thing is BS...going for a walk out of the blue...tut tut. Reminds me of going for a curry but just having a sniff when you get there. Absolute rubbish! What is it a game of cards next week? Table tennis? You either want a relationship with him or not. Clearly he wants a leg over via the no commitment friendly route. Your being played, or maybe your just playing each other.
  19. Hard to have any sympathy or advice for you! You've betrayed your wife and children, your fantasy lover/girlfriend has taken the step to leave her husband and face the music and persue a new life with a single man. Now your all sour grapes and jealous and expecting an understanding and sympathetic response. You brought it on yourself and you reap what you sow.
  20. Perhaps you should listen to what she's asked you to do and respect her wishes. Give her some space and time to move on.
  21. If it's your property and you have no 'Tenancy Agreement' change the locks he hasn't got a leg to stand. If he kicks off you call the police. As you said he can't afford to jeopardise his custody position with regards to his son!
  22. Send him to Tesco's and change the locks, I'd do it for you if you were local. Hd sounds like a complete
  23. Sounds like he's called your bluff to me or perhaps he's done. Either way your in need of some closure or direction as to what if anything happens next. Take a practical approach once more and ask him where you as couple or not, stand now.
  24. This is an easy fix...you need to contact your brother, father some of your male friends or d.i.y ladies and check your lock details and type. As soon as you know what it is purchase a new barrel lock if it's a UPVC door, or a standard dead latch on a wooden door. Wait till he's out with his son for an hour or two and swap the locks. Also get a couple of frame jammers. This can all be fitted very quickly & easily. It's your property and this relationship sounds over. When he returns he can ring you and make arrangements to collect his stuff after he's calmed down and accepted that his key to longer fits YOUR front door. My daughters ex husband was being a knob when they split up so I swapped all the locks in 40 minutes and fitted frame jammers. He came back after a few hours stamping his feet like a petulant child...same thing l told him to make a list of the essential things he needed and to contact a solicitor.
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