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Thread: Seeing a Married Woman for over a year - completely in love

  1. #11

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    I guess it's pretty obvious I made the right choice

  2. #12
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Ajrau, no one is trying to hurt you. We are trying to help save you from yourself.

    You've convinced yourself that getting involved with a married woman was a good thing and that she was being genuine with her words and feelings.

    You need to hear the truth if you stand a chance at truly breaking free, healing and finding a woman of your own that you're not sharing.

    You're strong enough to move past this and heal from it...it just depends on if you want to.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ajrau
    That's why I cut it off. I'm feeling terrible about it all. I know what I have been doing is wrong, hence my utter depression and self loathing. Truth hurts, but this forum has hurt me more than support me. I;m on the edge
    I didn't meant to make you feel bad, I really hope that you succeed in moving on and healing from this. However, sometimes reading these hard things can help opening our eyes and realize that we are not powerless, we have responsibility and accountability for our actions and therefor we CAN do better if we want to. You can get out of this and heal, but you have to take the first steps and really want to.

  4. #14
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    Originally Posted by ajrau
    That's why I cut it off. I'm feeling terrible about it all. I know what I have been doing is wrong, hence my utter depression and self loathing. Truth hurts, but this forum has hurt me more than support me. I;m on the edge
    The forum has not hurt you.
    This woman who has lied to you for 15 months has.
    What are you going to to do about that realisation?
    Dump the forum who you seem so upset about or dump the actual person who has caused your upset ?

  5.  

  6. #15

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    Originally Posted by Billie28
    The forum has not hurt you.
    This woman who has lied to you for 15 months has.
    What are you going to to do about that realisation?
    Dump the forum who you seem so upset about or dump the actual person who has caused your upset ?

    I completely agree with you. Itís very hard to hear, and I guess that realisation came when I decided to leave, but Iím still hurting so much as a result. I just need to know Iíve made the right choice. I mean, is it possible sheís being genuine and there are factors Iím not aware of? I simply donít know, and I can really only go off face value...

  7. #16

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    I do believe I deserve the pain. I should never have pursued a taken woman

  8. #17
    Platinum Member lostandhurt's Avatar
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    Actions speak louder than words. She says one thing but her actions show the real truth.

    You are her guy on the side and that is it. Her husband is security and probably supports her financially and you are nothing more than some excitement in her life. Who knows you may not even be the only guy she is cheating with.

    Cheaters are selfish liars. It is that simple and has been proven over and over again. Time to stop making excuses for her and see her for who she really is.

    Then it is time for you to take a good long look in the mirror and figure out how you thought having sex with a married woman was okay.

    Nothing good will ever come from this

    Lost

  9. #18
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Yes, of course you made the right choice.

    Please think on a couple of things. A person who is truly in an unhappy or broken marriage isn't going to solve the problem by cheating on their spouse. They will seek divorce, get their life back on track and only then date - once they are healed and ready for a genuine connection with someone new.

    People who cheat are liars. Think on it. Every single day she gets up and lies to her husband without blinking. You choose to trust what a liar is telling you? You think a person who will betray one person will magically be honest with another? Of course not and deep down, rationally you know this.

    Hard truth is you don't know anything about her marriage. Most of the time, cheaters never leave their spouse because they are actually happy in their marriage. They cheat for other reasons - thrill, duper's delight (the pleasure they feel at lying, manipulating, and deceiving others and getting away with it). In fact, part of that intensity you are feeling is also the thrill part - the sneaking around, the stolen moments. There is nothing real about the affair and ironically, in those cases where the cheater gets caught and kicked out by the betrayed spouse and the affair partner steps into the shoes of the spouse.....the relationship quickly dies. The thrill is gone and you are left without a foundation and a complete lack of trust in each other. What they'll do with you, they'll do to you reality.

  10. #19
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    You got involved with a woman who is bored with her marriage and wants to both hump the husband and to have a guy on the side. Nice.

    Stay away from her and any other married woman--period.

    BTW, get tested for STIs. You don't know if you're the only guy she is blowing smoke up their kilt.
    Last edited by jimthzz; 05-23-2019 at 10:29 AM.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ajrau
    That's why I cut it off. I'm feeling terrible about it all. I know what I have been doing is wrong, hence my utter depression and self loathing. Truth hurts, but this forum has hurt me more than support me. I;m on the edge
    The people here on this forum are trying to get you to wake up! The goal is not to hurt you but to have you see this is going nowhere. She isnt going to leave him or she would have by now. You are indeed being played.

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