LC8328

omg!!! That's incredible news. I'm so happy for you!!

It is absolutely sexual assault, and I am so very sorry you had to endure this! This man is sick and twisted, and quite frankly angers and triggers me a little - especially the bit about the pinching. I suggest you find ways to love yourself again, and learn that you deserve the best. None of this is your fault. Again, I'm sorry. There are some really good online therapies and even online inexpensive group therapy. All kinds of things available. Please take care of yourself.

Physical attraction is pretty important in a relationship. Personally, I wouldn't settle and to be honest I would be turned off by his poor hygiene too. It's great that you guys connected online really well. However, as you know, mental compatibility is just one aspect of a relationship. So yeah, I'd just stop seeing him together. Good luck out there.

ETA: I know you technically thanked him but your entire response was very formal and kinda buried under your other stuff.

When I read the part about him inviting your son to the park, my first thought was, omg, that's so sweet! Had I been you, I would have thanked him for being so sweet and obviously trying to help. Your response to that was mechanical, bussinesslike. It might have made him feel like his gesture was overlooked/ not appreciated (on top of everything else mentioned on this thread). My advice, try responding with a bit more emotion/ appreciation. If setting up a date was this businesslike, how much "fun" is a date going to be? Just my two cents. FWIW, I know what it's like to be dating later in life and I agree it's rough. You'll do fine, just relax a bit.

I agree with Tinydance; it would have been considerate of your friends to take some time to do something with you without their partners, especially knowing your situation and your feeling a bit lonely. Sorry you're feeling this way. If it helps, many people are going through a tough time right now. Take care of yourself.

I won't judge you for gaming as I am a gamer too and I understand that life. However, the most important thing you said was this: There are too many things amiss here. Honestly, he seems like he's on his way out of this relationship himself. I met a guy some months back (been single for over a year) while gaming. We hit it off and there was a major connection. But he dropped the ball somewhere and stopped communicating. I consider it to be over and have moved on. It only would have worked if he was willing to come meet me and make it a real relationship. Anything other than that is not going to hold any water in real life. That's just the reality of the situation. Please move on and find someone you're happy with. Good luck.

Hi, I've been reading your posts for a while and a lot of things are starting to come together as far as insight on some of your past posts. For starters, it doesn't look like you had a fair chance with this guy. His heart seemed closed from the beginning. I'm sorry that he treated you like this. If any man I dated told me that all I had to do was cook, clean, and have sex with him...well, the things I'd say in response would be censored out of this post. I'm disgusted and saddened for you. It's quite normal to want to be in contact with him, all things considered. But that idea, much like your former relationship, is not a good one. You're an adult, however, and I'm confident you'll make the choice that is right for you. The only other thing I want to add is that I wish many things for you...completeness and strength, for starters. I would like to see a day where, if a man says that you're not good enough, you'll tell him in no uncertain terms to GTFO and never look back. I'm sorry for the pain you're going through. Time will help it hurt less, I promise.

Yes, exactly

Wait... are you hesitating to break up with your BF because he's bought you things? Because of material things? And/ or because you live with him so you want to keep that life, while screwing around on him? That's what your words here seem to say, and if that's true, then... WOW. Complete and utter self-centeredness. Of course, even without this bit of info, one can easily say that. You're 25 and, not to offend others in your age bracket, but your immaturity is showing big time.

I think the bigger question is why you spent so much time thinking about how hurt you are, when he hasn't even had a chance to impress or disappoint you yet. Day after Valentine's you can come back and tell us your feelings if indeed he didn't do anything. We'll talk about it then. But IMHO, the real question is, why do you expect him to disappoint you, and why have you already decided that he will?

You are not stupid and you are not overreacting. You chose to give this man your trust again. HE is the one who failed here. Don't think about this any more than you need to. Use this information and grow stronger. Let's start with ending your relationship for real this time, yeah? You deserve someone way better who doesn't play games, whose actions fall in line with his words. Good luck.

Wow! I don't even know where to begin, but how about- gross! Clipping his toenails? His ex "lasted long" with him because she was more obedient? You will never be happy with this misogynistic loser. Know that you deserve better, to be treated like the beautiful human that you are.

Yep, I agree with this. I'd like to add that I'm happy you two have decided to go to counseling. Now I have a question, and I'm sorry if it's too simplistic or insensitive. Do you think you might have some post-partum depression? I know someone who had it for a very long time after her first child was born. It could explain some of your amplified reactions and feelings.

Although I guess emotional affair and emotionally dependent could be very similar things. Hmm.