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Everything posted by Annia

  1. When a man uses the "busy" excuses it means that he's just not that into you. There is not much you could do to change it and pursuing him or hanging waiting usually doesn't make them pursue you, on the contrary. Keep away and don't contact him.
  2. Why won't he drive to meet you? Why does it have to be you doing it every time? Also I find it a redflag that he made this move without talking to you about it or finding a solution that fits both you. At almost 2 years into a relationship, it's normal for couples to think about each other when making decisions like moving to another place and etc.
  3. Thanks for all the advice. Yes, I was very unhappy here. I was lucky that I got a job in the city I actually want to live in. It will also be much easier to travel to my country and visit family more often. I'm very excited for this new chapter in my life. Thank you!
  4. She told the person who visited the apartment that I wanted to sell everything and she's interested in buying my furniture so I'll send all the info, pics and prices to my landlady. It's a huge relief for me if she wants everything because I really don't want to take anything with me. I'll be moving to the opposite side of the country, very far away from here and my new landlords seem great and let me begin moving my stuff before the agreed moving date, so I think everything will be fine. I was just upset with her touching my personal belongings, towels and stuff, but I shouldn't let this cloud this new opportunity presented in front of me. Let's hope that this person gets the apartment and all my stuff so I can focus on other things.
  5. She can't nor comes unless she says beforehand and I approve and I think she never comes in when I'm not here. But yes, I'll be moving in two months and that's what I should be focusing on. Everything that's inside this apartment is mine, so I should also be focusing in selling it all since I'm not taking anything with me and do as you say, put my personal belongings in a safe place, since apparently they're not off limits to her.
  6. It's a basement apartment yes, but totally independent from hers. I have my own entry in the house. I barely see them on a daily basis despite them living upstairs. I was very shocked because there were times before that she sent me a message in good time saying they needed to enter to do something (switch filters and such) and asked if she could come in and she always seemed to respect my privacy except for this time. I also have this feeling that her respect for me has kind of changed now that I'm moving out. Before me telling her I was moving out, she always seemed nice and always asking if there was something in the apartment that needed to be improved. The way she acted as if this was totally normal and ok to do makes me even fear that she could come in out of nowhere when I'm not home without my authorization. Not that I have anything to hide but people coming and touching my stuff makes me incredibly anxious. And the fact that I'm alone in a foreign country makes me feel vulnerable and not knowing really how to move legally in these types of situations. I haven't told her anything yet because I didn't know what to say at the time but I think I should sit down and talk to her. At the same time talking to her is making me nervous now too.
  7. My place is ok, anything flaking down or dripping and not much use because I'm barely home. It was not even dirty but I wouldn't mind being told in advance what she was intending to do and if something wasn't up to "her standard" I'd have gladly made it better or clean something that could have escaped my eyes. If she's showing my house to more people in the future, I'll be home all the time and I'll tell her that I prefer if she doesn't touch my things without saying in advance.
  8. She's not a realtor and it was just to rent. She's renting privately. She just told me a few days before that someone was going to visit the apartment and if that day and hour was ok for me. I said it was fine. So I cleaned a bit around beforehand and left everything presentable, though you could see that someone lived there (detergents on top of the washing machine, a towel drying on sight, you know the gist and not much more really. I don't have much furniture or decoration because I've always seen this apartment as temporary so it's not like it has the decoration of a magazine but it has everything necessary. So I get out of my house about 40 minutes before the person was supposed to come and find her outside and tell her "hello" and ask how she's going. Then I wish her good luck and get out. (not even there she told me she was going to enter my house and "stage"). 2 hours later I get back home. She hears me coming (they live upstairs) and comes down to talk to me to tell me that she moved some things around to look better and that some parts of the house needed a bit cleaning. I was speechless because I had no idea that she was going to enter my house before showing to the interested person. I had no words and just said ok and entered my house. I come in and several things were moved and I'm almost certain that she remade my bed because I feel that I left it different when I got out (the duvet seemed to have been turned to the other side). Several things on my bathroom were visibly moved and some hidden inside the cupboard. Several things were also moved in my living room. I felt like my privacy was violated because I had no idea she was going to do this. Had she told me before I left "do you mind if I come in before they come and move some things around to make it look better?", I could've even come in and help her do it myself. But she talked to me before this and not even there did she give me notice that she was going to do this. I'll do as some of you said by taking pictures to everything in case I have problems with my deposit. I don't know how I feel... I know it's probably not a big deal, but I feel uncomfortable about this. I don't have a landlord/tenant agency to contact I think.
  9. Sorry if this is in the wrong section but I couldn't find a suitable section. I have a question if this is normal or acceptable, as I never experienced such. I will soon move and my landlady showed my apartment today to someone. She told me with several days in advance that someone would see my apartment. I left my house tidy (ok, I admit my wardrobe is full of stuff I didn't have time to put in place) and cleaned up the floors and the bathroom. I got out so that they could show the house without me on their way. When I come back she tells me that she came to my place before the interested person came up and tidy it up, changed some things to make it prettier and cleaned a bit and said that some parts needed a little cleaning. Is it normal that she came to my apartment before and did that? I felt that my privacy was invaded. I knew that she would come with someone to see the house and that's perfectly fine... but be in my house before moving my things around and all that? Is this normal?
  10. I don't know if he's a narcissist or not, but this is not someone you want to have a relationship with. He doesn't trust you, disappeared without a word and threatened to kill someone. It's time to block and delete and focus on your health and well being.
  11. Nope nope nope. Don't pay anything. This smells fishy to me and you should be careful.
  12. He means he's not interested in being with you in person. Listen to what he said, believe him and stop this non sense if you want more than online chats.
  13. Don't focus on diagnoses but instead of resolving whatever inside you that is keeping you from totally blocking this person from your life. Analysing them or wonder why they do this or that is just another way for you to keep you wrapped up in that mess, because you're still addicted to those ups and downs and toxicity and want to find ways of still be involved in it.
  14. What age range are we talking about? Regardless, it's disrespectful to have such intimacy level with someone while being in a committed relationship. Have you communicated your concerns and how you feel about this with him? If not you should.
  15. Have you been STD tested after that? And yes, I consider it assault and I'm very sorry you've been through it.
  16. He might be looking for a serious relationship but not with you. Or he might be playing you by sweet talking you the things he knows you want to hear. Go by his actions and not by his words alone.
  17. Why? He's either a manchild or narcissistic... or both.
  18. Court hearing for what? Also, have you two gotten back together? If it has not been explicitly decided by both that you're in a relationship again, then you shouldn't assume anything or expect anything and therefor shouldn't be concerned about his actions on social media towards other women. Why did you break up? Have the issues that caused the break up been solved? Why do you think he's using you? What are you providing him of use? Sex? Money? Are you not together in person? Edit: I've read now that he's a felon. I'd run away as fast as I could. This is not some little felony from many years ago that he's grown from and improved. This is something that happened recently. You should be glad you're not together with this man anymore and not be wondering about how he feels about you and how to get back with him.
  19. Never assume anything before it's clearly spelled out to you. In my opinion "I'm not seeing anyone" doesn't automatically mean that you're exclusive. Many people don't like multidating so they won't be seeing several people at the same time ("I'm not seeing anyone" ) but if exclusivity hasn't been explicitly discussed, it doesn't mean that they're not opened to be with someone else if the chance comes along naturally or that they want to pursue an actual relationship with you. Many people like the comfort of having just one person there to date and not be chasing others, but it's not enough (yet) to be in an actual committed relationship. I don't like multidating either and will usually date a man at a time, but I've learned to not put all the eggs in one basket by learning to never assume anything if it's not clearly said and demonstrated with actions.
  20. Stop this nonsense competition. He doesn't even seem like a good friend if he's so flaky and would leave you hanging for women. Are you jealous of what? Of being a jerk? You can get all the women in the world and still it won't measure up to going to sleep at night knowing you have integrity and self respect.
  21. I have a feeling that even if she aborts he still can leave. Weather he finds out he was deceived and leaves or he doesn't find out but this experience scares him so much that the possibility of having a child believing that his partner is taking contraception can make him leave. I also don't get if he's so adamant in not having children, why he hasn't invested in a vasectomy.
  22. I never found love again, and I just accepted it.
  23. Unfortunately many exes do this. They dump the person but then don't respect that the person needs time to heal and move on and still want the attention and ego strokes and advantages but don't want the relationship. Block and delete.
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