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Is he just friends/friendly with his ex?


Beckydee90

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I’ve been seeing this guy for about 2 months. I really like him.

 

I know he called her a few weeks ago. He told me couldn’t find something of his so he called her and asked her if she had it, apparently she told him no, she didn’t have it. The next day I saw that he texted her the next day and asked her again if she had a chance to look again (I was using his laptop and his message threads appear on his Mac). Then the next day he was laughing at something. He had sent her a video of these puppies. I figured they were just friends/friendly?

 

A few days ago he had liked this post that said, “50% miss you, 50% f%ck you.” Today she texted him saying tell your mom I said happy Mother’s Day for me and he responded, “Will do. Please do the same for me.” I’ll admit I kind of peeked over when he was texting and saw this.

 

Backstory: I know they wanted to get married, he was saving up for a ring, and they broke up due to arguing. He initiated the breakup 3 months ago. Oh, and they started following each other again on social media about a month ago.

 

Are they just friends/friendly?

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They wanted to get married and only broke up three months ago? They are still all emotionally wrapped up and you need to get out of there because you are just going to be casualty of their issues.

 

Yea, but if he wanted to be with her wouldn’t he just do it?

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Yea, but if he wanted to be with her wouldn’t he just do it?

 

These things are not automatic...little bits here and there and before you know it, he's telling you he's not feeling it with you and back with her.....stop making excuses for him....it's pretty apparent things could go the other way..

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First things first: I very much agree with the above sentiment that it's awfully risky to be dating someone only three months removed from a relationship with someone they at one point planned to marry. Can only speak for myself, but even when it's been relationships I was 100 percent convinced needed to end, I haven't been ready to be fully present in the business of forming a new relationship.

 

That said, here you are, so I'll address this as is. Have you asked him about the nature of the relationship? Have you two discussed what you are, and are not, comfortable with in terms of boundaries? Two months in is early, but it's also a pretty critical time in terms of making sure you see eye to eye on the basics of what's needed to build a secure connection.

 

That you're trying to connect the dots by reading his texts, and then asking us for a read on that read—well, never a good sign, regardless of the specifics. If you're being intimate physically you should feel comfortable being intimate emotionally, with direct words. You might not hear what you want to hear, but you'll have real information that can allow for informed choices.

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You, my dear, are a rebound. Been with him 2 months, he broke up with her 3 months ago. It's WAY too soon for him to be involved with anyone. They are still wrapped up in each other to a larger degree than is healthy for you.

 

But if he wanted to be with her wouldn’t he just do it? And how they still wrapped up, couldn’t they just be friends?

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But if he wanted to be with her wouldn’t he just do it? And how they still wrapped up, couldn’t they just be friends?

 

Again, don't you find it odd that you're not comfortable talking about this with him? Could it be that you're gut is telling you one thing that contradicts with the thing you sincerely want?

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But if he wanted to be with her wouldn’t he just do it? And how they still wrapped up, couldn’t they just be friends?

 

I dont have the luxury of knowing why they broke up so I cant answer that. They appear to have unresolved leftover stuff between them that is making him contact her asking questions. I dont believe ex's should be friends. They broke up for a reason. You need to ask him the questions about where you stand with him, what he's looking for, how he sees the relationship with you.

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I dont have the luxury of knowing why they broke up so I cant answer that. They appear to have unresolved leftover stuff between them that is making him contact her asking questions. I dont believe ex's should be friends. They broke up for a reason. You need to ask him the questions about where you stand with him, what he's looking for, how he sees the relationship with you.

 

They broke up because they were arguing. He said they got in a big blow up and he just snapped and broke up with her during the argument.

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I agree with others. He's still emotionally attached to her and not fully invested heart and soul into you. You are someone new at only 2 months.

 

Either remain patient with him, expect he won't change to your will, engage in an argument over this or date a different guy.

 

They're friends, friendly and both of them are not willing to cease all contact. Accept him as he is habits and all with his ex or be with a man who will make you exclusive with all , respect, honor and integrity. Be with a man who will treat you with dignity.

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I’ve been seeing this guy for about 2 months. I really like him.

 

I know he called her a few weeks ago. He told me couldn’t find something of his so he called her and asked her if she had it, apparently she told him no, she didn’t have it. The next day I saw that he texted her the next day and asked her again if she had a chance to look again (I was using his laptop and his message threads appear on his Mac). Then the next day he was laughing at something. He had sent her a video of these puppies. I figured they were just friends/friendly?

 

A few days ago he had liked this post that said, “50% miss you, 50% f%ck you.” Today she texted him saying tell your mom I said happy Mother’s Day for me and he responded, “Will do. Please do the same for me.” I’ll admit I kind of peeked over when he was texting and saw this.

 

Backstory: I know they wanted to get married, he was saving up for a ring, and they broke up due to arguing. He initiated the breakup 3 months ago. Oh, and they started following each other again on social media about a month ago.

 

Are they just friends/friendly?

 

Wait, a few days ago you said YOUR ex liked that post. You said it in this thread:https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=564617&page=2&p=7215845#post7215845

 

Are you retelling the story from a different point of view thinking you'll get different advice?

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Wait, a few days ago you said YOUR ex liked that post. You said it in this thread:https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=564617&page=2&p=7215845#post7215845

 

Are you retelling the story from a different point of view thinking you'll get different advice?

 

Good catch. Always a fun ride when posters forget that we can see their posting history.

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you are setting up for a emotional roller coaster.He is not ready for this relationship.

Being in contact with his ex means he is not fully over it.

one needs some time away to move on from past.

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If he and his friends laugh behind your back about the breakup and it's posted online for all to see, he's not your friend. Delete and block him, stop trying to stay friends with him.

 

He's making a fool of you and the "friend" who forwarded you this video is a questionable friend at best. At least she gave you the heads up that chasing him this hard is making a fool out of yourself when he is happy and laughing about the breakup.

 

Same guy?: https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=564617&p=7215798&viewfull=1#post7215798

Today she [ I ] texted him saying tell your mom I said happy Mother’s Day for me and he responded, “Will do. Please do the same for me.” Are they just friends/friendly?
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But if he wanted to be with her wouldn’t he just do it? And how they still wrapped up, couldn’t they just be friends?

 

You would think so, but people don't always operate that way.

 

Lots of folks have an on-again/off-again drama-filled dynamic where they break up and get back together multiple times.

 

If you get caught up in a relationship during the down cycle, you'll probably get shredded when the relationship kicks back up.

 

It's all the same to them: the more drama, the merrier.

 

https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=564617&page=2&p=7215845#post7215845

 

Are you retelling the story from a different point of view thinking you'll get different advice?

Good catch. Always a fun ride when posters forget that we can see their posting history.

Ha! Speaking of drama-lovers :D

 

Well, they do say you should approach a problem from all angles.... :D :D

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They broke up because they were arguing. He said they got in a big blow up and he just snapped and broke up with her during the argument.

 

If he did this so easily with someone he was engaged to, you can expect he'll easily do the same with you at some point.

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