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Everything posted by Izac1789

  1. Yes this is the same woman, I feel if you’ve read the previous threads you will understand the situation very well thanks in advance
  2. I understand that this is part of a break up, and have had breaks ups previously but I’ve never still been doubting my decision to end things 5 months down the line. Obviously sometimes people make the wrong decision when breaking up and things get worked out and people are happy again together. ive never had a longer term relationship. I’m wondering if that honeymoon stag of losing butterflies, and the excitement was mistaken for ‘something missing’. I don’t want to tangle her up with the mess again, unless I know 100% i can commit and be true to my word
  3. I once dated a girl who was diagnosed with bipolar, and it sounds the exact same. I’m sorry to break it to you
  4. Hi all 5 months ago, I broke up with my girlfriend of around 1 year as i felt that it was missing something for me. I found myself not looking forward to seeing her as much, and sometimes when we were together I felt it was missing something in terms of my feeling & passion towards her. Since then, we have been gone through phases of seeing each other & sleeping together, and other phases less so much, with the agreement of no pressure on an outcome. However my ex girlfriend felt quite insecure about the situation and was on edge about what I really wanted, which I can understand and caused some arguing & volatile moments. Thus, she said to me she wanted me to commit to her and be back together properly or just to leave things. I still had doubts in my head so I said to leave things be, and we did so amicably. We have the same friendship group and I was wary of getting back with her, all our friends and family being told and then for me to possibly change my mind in the future. Since calling it off, I seem to overthink everything and miss her. It sounds corny but we are best friends and very good together. We rarely argued when together and share the same values, as well as a high attraction. I really wish I could give my all and be rid of the doubts to make sure I’m ready to get back together. that’s if it’s not too late of course. when we were seeing each other again we said we would be exclusive to each other and not sleep with other people, so I just didn’t see the rush in forcing it forward and giving a label, but seems now if I leave things I will lose her. I also know if I find out she has moved on with someone else I’ll be really hurt What is everyone’s thoughts please? Is it normal to still be wanting her and these feelings after 5 months? I’m not sure what to do and no one to talk to about this thanks in advance
  5. Update: We were both completely honest with each other about where we think we can improve and both honest about how we have been feeling. We both agreed that we believe we can get back to how we used to be and our best with some effort on both parts so we have decided to give it another go. We also were quite civilised and said that we both need to be happy and that we can’t keep going back in to that same situation. So kind of agreed to give it one last shot, and if we still have major differences in future then we can’t keep going back and forth, we were both happy with this. Thanks everyone for their advice and help, it helps me a lot to talk and gain people’s different opinions.
  6. Thank you everyone, all taken on board. I am meeting her this evening so am just going to be completely honest with how I feel, and will see how it goes, it’s the best I can do
  7. Should I just be completely honest and say this to her then? And tell her my feelings aren’t the same as they once were and then see how she wishes to proceed?
  8. I was lacking effort to make any plans or organise anything really, but it has been extremely busy with work commitments and both living with parents etc. Had a lack of quality time just the two of us so perhaps that’s why feelings have dwindled. The lack of effort from me is the main reason for the failing relationship as well as her pushiness on some issues such as moving in with me when I finish building my house etc. I am thinking of giving it another shot, and making a conscious effort to make plans together just the two of us and hopefully my feeling can come back. I haven’t lost t entirely and still love her, but just the spark has gone of late I feel. I am also a massive over thinker. Feel it is better to really give it a proper go now and then if the feelings don’t return as they once were then I know for sure that it isn’t meant to be, rather than just call it off now and perhaps never know. thanks for your help
  9. That’s very true, I acted with a lack of effort on my part recently as I just was not feeling as in to it. I really wish I could change how I feel and make more effort as I know how happy we have been previously, but is this an impossible task?
  10. Thanks for the response. I feel that if I am honest and say I’m not 100% sure what I want then it will just end with her saying she can’t do this any longer and that will be it
  11. Hi all i have posted previously about my relationship and posted when I was considering breaking up with my girlfriend. to recap quickly, I was considering breaking up as we were on different pages and the last couple of months have not been as in to it and giving her as much love back as what she gives me. I decided to break up with her on the weekend, and it was very upsetting on both parts, and then the next day I felt huge regret and drove to see her and explained I was sorry and wished for it back. After an emotional couple of days we decided it’s best to give each other some space and time to get our heads together and we are meeting up tomorrow evening to sort things one way or another. She has said I need to be 100% sure it is what I want for her to go back in to it, which is completely fair and understandable. As much as I want to say that to her and tell her I’m 100% I still have a nagging gut feeling that it is not right. I’m not sure if I am just overthinking the whole thing or it is best to go our separate ways? I know we can be great together but only if I am truly ready to be as loving and in to it as her. my question is: tomorrow we need to come to some sort of decision on how to proceed as it’s not healthy to go on like we have been. Shall I be completely honest and say I’m not actually 100% sure of what I want right now? Or shall I try again? I know the problem was me and my effort and my loving in the relationship.. Thanks all
  12. Hi all i recently posted about my partner and I being on different pages in terms of where we are at in terms of commitment. Since then, I have found myself questioning whether i really do want it as much as my partner and have since had a bad gut feeling around it all. im considering breaking things off, because it just doesn’t feel right anymore and I don’t feel the same desire and commitment to my partner as she would like. I’m finding myself not wanting to make future plans anymore. she is really great and has been lovely but it just doesn’t feel right now for whatever reason. Am I being hasty or is it understandable? I’m scared of upsetting her but feel it is worse to stay in something I’m not wanting to fully be in.
  13. Thanks everyone for the replies, it’s greatly appreciated. I am building my own home and will be complete in the next couple of months. She is also upset that I am not asking her to move in right away and I have said I want to live alone for a while to begin with because I have never done that and always lived at home with my parents. She also seems upset about that. She believes we are now on different pages. I am happy with the speed we are going at and want to keep it steady. I do understand her point though if she feels that way.
  14. Hi all so basically I’ve been with a girl for 9 months, and it’s been going well. We see each other mainly on weekends due to work commitments and both living at home still. I’m 26 and she is 23. A few days ago, my girlfriend started saying she knows she wants to be with me forever and marry me eventually etc. To which I said I see a future with her but don’t know for sure if I want to be with her forever as it’s still only been 9 months and not ready to say that yet. she seems to think we are on different pages now and I’m not in to it as much. What does everyone think about this? am I not committed enough? thanks in advance
  15. I think it's a case of live and learn. You made a mistake, but telling Peter only passes the guilt on. It wont fix anything. It may have been wrong but you did not cheat as you were not fully committed. You need to forgive yourself and in time it will get easier. Everybody makes mistakes, it is how we deal with them and learn from them in the future that defines us. Concentrate your effort on your new flourishing relationship and try to worry less!
  16. I agree with you, I just feel bad for leaving it on a bad note and her thinking bad of me, in what before this was a amicable break up. I sent her a text to finish to explain as I mentioned previously and I wished her well. she has not responded
  17. I guess I was just looking for more answers, where the answers were there all along. and as you mentioned, not going away any time soon
  18. It's the same girl that asked about a threesome yes. she never cheated, I never wrote that on here.. We dated since December so only a few months
  19. I have been in such a situation previously and it did not work out. Someone in that position is obviously not ready to be in another relationship, and these small actions are proving that to you
  20. Hi guys, I posted previously about an ex and how we broke up around 3 weeks ago due to long distance and also age factors and having different goals right now. I was doing well with the break up and accepted it well, but she randomly text me out of the blue the other day to see how I was doing, and was asking if I now hate her etc and how she would be open for meeting again further down the line if I was ever in Asia where she lives again.. my first reaction was quite short but after a couple of texts I said I'd be open to meet her in Asia one day maybe, once I said this she kind of just ended the conversation then.. Anyway, I hadn't spoken to her then for a few days but a weak moment I cracked yesterday and asked how she was, I also asked her if anything triggered the break up and if she was moving on now. I know it's none of my business now as we broke up and shouldn't have asked. She took it like I was asking if she had cheated on me and was upset she thought I was thinking that. I didn't mean that but what I meant was if there was a trigger to make her think it wouldn't work because the ending was quite abrupt. I text to explain that but Its just left things on a sour note and I'm finding it harder to not think about things than i was initially.. Can anyone offer any advice please?
  21. Thank you for all of your replies. It has helped me put my mind at ease somewhat, I guess this one was just not meant to be. Thanks again
  22. Thanks for the replies so far. We had big differences with religion, culture also. I am not saying that these could not have been overcome, but I feel all added up it just wasnt meant to be. I am looking for something long term at this stage and my ex girlfriend mentioned she still wants to live in different cities across the world etc, which I have already done. it really is a bummer
  23. Hi everyone I posted previously about a long distance relationship that I was in. I was unsure about it due to not meeting for too long before we committed and distance then got between us. I am 26 years old and my now ex girlfriend is 19 years old. I live the other side of the world and was finding the long distance difficult and I also felt we were at different stages of our lives as I was a little older and wanting to settle soon. My ex girlfriend would not finish her university course until December this year. When together last we also argued a bit when living in the same space and all of the doubts added up and made me doubt things and become distant and in the end a mutual decision was made to break things off. I really feel strongly for the girl and her feelings towards me are also equally strong. We have just broke up and it feels horrible as without distance between us, and life situation / timing I'm sure we wouldn't have broken up. I just tried to look at the situation with some reality. Does anyone think I'm making a huge mistake here or looking from the outside is this the best thing for both of us? Thanks for all your help as ever
  24. Hi all To give some background I left to travel in October 2019 and when away met a girl who I spent a lot of time with and ended up visiting her in Singapore and we are now together. I am back living in the UK. It was great to begin with but the last couple of weeks in Singapore we started to argue. Since being in the UK we have got on well considering the distance and it's been ok. However, I recently bumped in to a girl from my home town who I used to date, and they spoke to me and explained how they miss me and want to be with me and to give it a proper go (we both travelled at different times so never worked). My girlfriend is Singapore was planning to visit in May but due to the virus who knows when she can visit. She starts a 6 month intern in August too so once that starts she won't be able to move. she is also 19 and I am 26, and I'm looking for something serious and to settle down in the near future. Since bumping in to my ex I keep thinking What If? and I'm not sure it can realistically work with my current long distance girlfriend and could be wasting a chance with my ex. I'm really not sure if I'm just being fickle here or there is something up Thanks in advance
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