bridey
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very confused about my sexuality...
bridey replied to toria00's topic in Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender
I am like you, but the opposite. I identify myself as, and feel that I am straight. However, I have had sex with girls and like girl on girl porn! I do not feel an emotional attachment to women though, where as I do with men. I feel like the emotional part in conjunction with the sexual part is what makes a relationship and that is why I feel I am straight. I don't know if that helps you at all. -
I have been seeing this guy for about a month and a half, but have known him for about 7. We have sex, but otherwise it is a pretty casual relationship. I think early on, I came on a little too strong and scared him off a little. I backed off and things have been better. We went out with a group of people Friday night, and he was at my side the whole time. We spent the night together Friday, and then I was stranded at his house (no car), but he didn't seem to mind. I went with him to run a few errands and we went out for a late lunch. I didn't get home until 5 PM! Anyway, I had a really great time with him, and felt like he opened up to me a little more. I want to send him a short email to tell him I really enjoyed spending time with him this weekend. Is that ok? I know it shouldn't be a big deal, but I really worry about what he thinks and don't want to mess this up. He told me when I was getting out of the car that lunch was nice, and I agreed, kissed him, made sure he knew how to get home and ran off (I get nervous sometimes!). I want to make him feel good and let him know that he makes me feel good, too, but in a non-threatening way. I know I am probably over analyzing this, but please help! This man makes me insane (in a good way)!
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Cherry, thanks for your response. Pretty much everything I was thinking, but I wanted reassurance. We talked a while back, about where we were going with this, and he said he felt like an a**hole, seeing someone so soon, blah, blah, blah, so didn't think he was ready for having a gf (basically, not ready to get serious), but wanted to spend time with me and liked being around me. He wanted to know what my expectations were, because he seemed to think I wanted all or nothing. I said that I just wanted to see him and see where it went and that ultimatly, I would want a bf, but that it would take time (I am only 8 month out of a 7 year relationship). So, I guess, I will wait it out and see if he comes around. If he needs more time, I will give it to him, because I really like him and think he is worth it. If it takes a few months, I can wait. Not that I will close my eyes, though, maybe a better opportunity will come along!
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Experiment with her. It is different for different women. I personally like it kind of rough, and the more excited I become the rougher I like it, but don't like to start out that way! I have heard of some women who just don't like it, so start out slow with your lady and see how it goes.
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Don't call this girl! Your ex will think you care! Do your best with no contact (I know it is hard). If you give in and talk to him, just start over!
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If you want to be with this person again (still?) then I think you have to say something, because it will cause tension in your relationship. Just realize that by saying somehting, that if they do not feel the same way you do, that could cause tension as well, but if you are still close you should be able to move beyond it and you won't have any nagging questions in the back of your mind!
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I have been seeing this guy for about a month (so not very long, but I have known him for 7 months) and I am feeling frustrated because I am the only one putting forth any effort. He calls me back if I call him, and when we talk on the phone it usually exceeds an hour, so he is interested in talking to me. When we spend time together it is fun and we have a good time, and we have awesome sex! The problem I have is that he doesn't initiate anything. I feel I leave him enough time to do this, so I don't think I am just beating him to it. In fact, I wonder if I didn't call him, if I would ever hear from him again. I am a friend of his best friend, who says he likes me, so I know he is interested. He has a lot of stuff going on with an ex-girlfriend and their baby, so I wonder if maybe he just needs more time and space? I guess I pretty much know that I just need to back off and see what he does, but I want some opinions. I really like him and don't want him to just go away, but I don't want to come off as desperate either!
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There really is no time line for these things. It is going to be different for everyone. Sometimes it will be different for you depending on the person you are with too. Just do what feels natural, if you start to do something she is not ready for, she will let you know, either verbally, or by physical cues, such as pulling back or blocking you with her hands. Enjoy yourself and do what feels natural, kind of like how you knew to kiss her in the theatre.
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You should pay. Just grab the bill when it comes. If she grabs it first, or insists on paying, pay for half, or tell her she can leave the tip. As far as conversation? How well do you know her? Make a list of questions you want to know about her before you go and when it gets quiet ask her things about herself. It can be simple, do you have any brothers or sisters? Do you have any pets? Things like that. Good luck on your date, and bring gum!
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Do you mean to say that you are not attracted to anyone other then your husband ever? I find that hard to believe. I think that it is normal to find other people attractive, now how you react to that is a different story. If your husband were trying to initiate contact anytime (or ever) he thought somone was sexually appealing, that would be different. To have sexual feelings though, I think is natural. Has your husband ever given you a reason to believe he is unfaithful? If not than I wouldn't worry.
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OK. Good, it sounds like you are doing the things you need to. If you feel you need to get out, then maybe it is time. You can't sacrifice your own well being and certainly not your daughters. You can't help your husband if you become too tired and overwhelmed to help yourself. I like that you are communicating with his parents too. Just because you get yourself out of an unhealthy situation does not mean you are leaving your husband high and dry so to speak. You can still help, support, and love him from under another roof. I think it is important for you to communicate this with him, and if he can't be supportive towards you and your decision, well, that isn't very fair is it? You can't do all the work. I understand he is ill, but he has to do what he needs to do as well. There are certain things you do for yourself when you are ill, no matter what the illness is. Make sure you lean on your family and friends now, don't do this alone!
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Do not say anything at this point. He is going to see you still as too young for him. Atleast he should unless he is some kind of pervert. If something should ever come from this attraction, it should come when you are a little older and on a more equal plain as far as life experience. In the meantime, enjoy what you have. He is not too old, so at some point he may break up with his girl and see you in a different light.
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Horribly confused...I could really use some advice
bridey replied to Baching311's topic in Relationship Advice
You say it has been a purely sexual relationship, but if you guys are talking on the phone regularly, it is an emotional one as well, no matter how you two try to define it. It sounds like this relationship has maybe run its course if he is treating you diffrently on the emotional level. If you can't bring it up to him then move on. Otherwise, I would recomend asking him what is going on. Either way, though, I think you could do better. You don't sound like an idiot from what you have to say, so figure out what you want and go get it, form him or someone else! -
This person sounds a little scary to me personally. He sounds like a very controlling person. Why? Is it because he is really insecure? A lot of times people worry about what you are doing because they themselves are doing something wrong. Maybe he is fooling around with his ex and so knowing what he is capable of, thinks she is fooling around too. There isn't really anything you can do, but be a supportive friend and listen to her when she needs to talk. I wouldn't butt in too much, unless it becomes out right abusive in which point you could tell her parents (I think I saw you were 16?). If you tell her to break up with him or try to interfere she will probably get mad and be less truthful with you. Sounds like you are reasonably concerened and a good friend. Keep being there for her.
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really confused.. im wonderin if this guy is into or not..
bridey replied to salsero's topic in Dating Advice
If you are too scared to just walk up and say "hi", get some of your mutual aquintences to get you guys talking. You have said you have talked to his GF, next time you see them together, start talking to her to get your introduction. If he is into you, the more contact you guys have the better your chances of having a moment to come out to one another. Don't feel bad about using his GF as an in, if he is gay, you'll be doing her a favor in the long run!