BlueCoconut

yikes.... and i was about to suggest taking her along to the gym. Well if she is not willing to pay for the gym, my suggestion is why not just work out home with her... those pilates she wanted so bad. Pull them out and work out together. As of working out together you don't need a gym that, go out running together, or choose a fun and enjoyable sport that you both like and get together with friends to play. Personally, my next girlfriend had best like playing tennis! ! or some other fun sport... anyway, I like motivation for exercice too but the thing is if you make it fun, it gets easier... So pull your friends, her friends, throw a volleyball or a soccer game, something that everyone can enjoy and yet end up knocked out tired. If that does not work... You can give her the most motivational speech you can make up on why exercice is utterly necessary for her... If that does not work.... snap... honesty might work, oh it will be ugly... but hmm... maybe she will change a bit.

i was just about to say what the two previous posts said. they are some crazy and dangerous freaks out there, so make sure you don't go alone, and i suggest you let someone know about it before you go WITH your friend.... leave some information like his phone number and etc... safety does not hurt...

I have recently broken up with my girlfriend I now wake up and observe who I have become, and I don't like it. I'm quieter, more stuck up, less friendly, less interesting. I prefer the person I used to be. I feel like she has drained the life out of me... Anywayz... here I awake, this much more quiet person, less sociable, feeling pretty much dead and lonely. So how do I become again who I was, the louder and amusing entertainer? I've lost touch with many friends and those I have not lost touch with are mostly too busy. So how do I make new friends again, get that feeling of being completely free and return to that lovable, seducing and charming person I used to be, who always had too many parties to go to at once, a plan or three for the night and would be the person you would call when you wanted to have some fun? I want to love myself again... -

the risk is less. but from what i understand, it is not just the come, there is also fluid exchange through the pores of the penis. It is actually bothering me too, I mean for protection against those, one should condoms or dental dams when going down on a woman, but.... I'll just make sure I never go down on any underserving and long standing woman....

here is my personal little dramatic love story..... that ended.... she was my first true girlfriend. I broke up with her this morning. I feel awful... so so bad... I love her very much, I really care for her. but in a month, she is leaving the country, not that i did not know that before. We got together four months ago, a month later she was supposed to return to her country. Once she did, she wanted to come back. I tried to convince her not to, because I could not promise her anything. I tried to break up with her, but she had so many tears,and felt so much pain, and cried so much, I could not handle hurting her and told her to come back if she wanted to. I told her if she wanted to come back, she should, but that she should not come back for me. I did, i told her that over and over and over again. She came back a month after her departure, in the beginning of February. She told me, I was not the main reason of her return, but only a small part. I tried to convince myself, that whatever would happen... i should not feel guilty about it. Then she came back, it was fun at first, great, even incredible. I was really happy then... As time grew, I guess I kind of lost interest of i'm not too sure what. I realized that in our likings, the way we saw and lived life, we were very very much different. Different tastes, but still we really cared for each other. I can not say at which point I started feeling like not being with her anymore. I think it may have been when I had bad days. It bothered me that she could not suceed in cheering me up and out of it, although she tried and i love her for it. And when I would be gloomy, I would get quiet, and she would feel sad too and instead of being happy and getting me out of it, she grew sad, sensible and unhappy too. Not that my bad days would have anything to do with her. That is when it started bothering me, and maybe it was that the flame and the excitement of new relationships was already dying. I'm not so sure. Anyhow... then they were the days that I would not feel like talking and she would be quiet. or our conversations grew boring, I think I feel she did not bring more to my life anymore. She loved her project, but i had little interest in it. But beyond that project, there was rarely anything interesting or curious. She did not starve as much as I to learn new things... It then felt as if, I always did all the initiating of conversations , all the talking. And if i did not feel like talking, there would simply be the quiet... I don't like the quiet so much, I like fun and amusing conversations. And thenm the fun, she always wanted to do things I was not interested in, or did not feel like doing. But in her amazing kindness, she would do anything I suggested. A really great girl. She may do it just for me, because she loves me, loves me so much. but i never felt like doing much when i was worried and stressed. school does that to me. but instead of being a window of escape and a realm of peace, it was quite.... boring i guess. maybe if i had spent more time with her it would have been different, maybe if we had done more things together that did not require conversation... maybe if we had done more fun things... That is really it. I like to see her happy, but when i'm in a bad mood, i can retreat within me and my words may come out cold. she is extremely sensitive to those and it would her quite a lot. and she cried. i hate seeing people cry. i hate it so much... but i have beared more tears with her than anyone in the whole world. tears irritate me, and in a way they hurt me. she would cry, quite a lot, about how i said something. and if she did not do it before me, i would feel that she was unhappy. it upsets me that i caused her so much pain and emotion. and it bothers me that i caused her tears, so often, simply because of the way i said something, or i felt about somethings. and that the things i prioritized did not agree with hers. what she prioritized was being with me, while i have to suceed at my studies. and she would get sad when she could not see me. she would get hurt when i did not feel like being with her. why would i sometimes not want to be with her? well... when someone gets hurt by all you say..... then i felt trapped. trapped by her tears and her love. i want to love, but i want to feel free too. no, i don't mean other women... one, but i want to have peace of mind. inner freedom. so i broke up with her on the terms that i hurt her too much, that i hated myself for hurting her all the time, whether or not i meant to. imagine how you would feel, if you were always scared to tell the person of your life something, in fear that the way it would come out, it would hurt them? i also could not talk to her about everything, i always had to be selective about what to tell her and what not to. Don't say something that could hurt! i hate the feeling, shouldn't one in love, be able to tell their lover everythig, good or bad, and not feel that constant fear to hurt them. I told her about that feeling eventually, and she agreed that i should not be afraid to tell her things. Yet i would. she gets hurt so easily. so I broke up... i caused her too much, and since she is leaving a month from now anywayz, there is no future for this relationship because I do not believe and i refuse long distance relationships, maybe we should stop where we are. I hate hurting her.... Now many hours since that moment have passed, and i feel awful, horrible to be alone again, horrible that she is alone again. even worst that, in the end i realize that she came back for me anywayz and that i disappoint her so much... europe to canada for me is a long way! i miss her and i love her, i almost want to grab the phone and call her, tell her how sorry i am and how much i love her. but doing so would cause pain again later... but.... !! i hate it... and i tell myself, i will never date again if it can cause such pain... but i miss her so much, her tenderness, her sweetness and kindness. and i hate myself for hurting her, and even if unintentionally misleading her that our love could be eternal. she would have given up the whole world for me... It saddens me that i cause her pain... I will appreciate any advice... should I hold back and keep to myself or should i follow that screaming urge to call her and love her? oh yes maybe I should mention she is 6 years older than me.

have you always been able to remain friends after you broke up with someone? best way someone has broken up woth you?

would you rather: have someone love you fully and passionately, completely and entirely, without restraints or fears, though knowing that within a moment's time, he may get and leave without reason nor explanation? Or would you prefer Someone love you, and always be there but often doubting his love? In a way your partner loving you, but not passionate about you? Have great days and bad days, but all so over a much longer span of time? And knowing that one night he may stray away... and return at morning?

I feel like breaking up with my girlfriend. Thing is everytime i think of it, I tell myself I could be messing up a great thing. Reasons I feel like breaking up? - - She loves me so much more than I love her... - - physics aside, I do not feel excited by her presense... rather annoyed maybe that is because I feel I have completely won her over, too quickly and too easily. - - It is easy to be romantic, pleasureable and to make her happy. But I myself... as much as I enjoy sometimes the romance, in a way I feel bored. What I am saying is in a way, I'm bored. Sure she is an older woman, and I have gained all my sexual experience from her. but... I don't think I am ready to break it off, but the thought is quite often on my mind. And then maybe, it is because I would rather concentrate on my studies than always have to take in consideration when will she be able to see me. .... There is also the fact that she just came back a week ago;(my previous post) in part for me ; to Canada. I know in my mind, I do not see this relationship last forever. I thought I would feel different once she would be back but... do not.

My resolutions are... - study more, party less - work out at least once every week - develop my social skills - cultivate my mind a little more! - take over the world (seriously)

I don't know anymore what to do. Everytime I talk to her, she cries ... Can I really tell her... yes come back for me? Put your entire life on a hold and just be with me? Being realistic, what's the future? She may come back, we'd be two happy lovebirds for a time, eventually she would have to go back for her home. or things could go wrong between she and I. So many things could go wrong in our relationship.... Or she could find a job in Denmark (where's she currently is), maybe another lover, another life. I, would become a memory, and she may be happier such a way. Or she could be in Canada, unable to study or work, and just live for and with me? We have only been together for a month, and if you count the days we have spent together during these days , they may not be more than 7... I feel she loves me too much, too quickly. I don't want her to come back, maybe that is because in my mind I already told myself: she's not coming back, get over it, love your life on while she still wants me vibrantly in her life. And also I don't see how the relationship would go overtime if it went well, eventually she'd have to go back and I'd feel that pain all over again. aah... I do strongly care for her... but it's becoming too much. She seems to only want to live for me, and i can't allow that... should I? Should I let her come back, be with me, let the struggles of the future come and hopefully get through? I may be scared of what life would be like, if she came back... the challenges we would face... it feels complicated and I may be avoiding it. To me, the rational thing is to follow our current lives, she in Denmark me with my studies... the emotional thing to would be ask her to come back. Brain or Heart? help!

Met her end of November. clicked . last week she went back to europe, no plansof coming back. I miss her, she misses me... She's thinking of coming back ... I don't want her to come back for me, I told her so. I find myself wondering if i should just lose all contact with her, to make it easier for her maybe, or maintain or relation. We have both agreed that we did not believe in long distance relationships, so we would be friends. I don't know... any advice?

Everytime i c her... there's like a miniature volcanic explosion in me (a good one) and i feel different. We barely started going out together so... How often should I call? what does taking it slow mean? If it was in my power i don't know if I'd ever want 2 be without her... so how often should I invite her for something??

this is a lil long.. i apologize. I write here because I have a slight problem... in my heart. It's gots to do with my past. I had a high school crush. Never really made a move on it. I tried to be friends with her, she is not the type to befriend a lot of people. But something about her, got me to my heart from the moment i saw her. I wanted to know her, after five years, I still don't feel like I do. Maybe better than some, but not enough to my delight. We talked a few times and the conversations we had, I really enjoyed them. Then we both went our ways off to college. We kept in touch so or so through email. I remember struggling to get to her, and she's a very hard person to get close to. After a while I kind of gave up, I wanted to know her so bad, yet she was withdrawn from the world, our world. Maybe even that's what attracted me to her, the fact that unlike most people, it was so hard to figure her out, categorize her somewhere. Yet, she gets along with quite a number of people than she does with me. Anywayz... it took me some time to delete all strong feelings I had for her, and not be anything but friends. So really it didn't matter anymore if I went 5 months or not wiithout seeing her, or every single day. I didn't care. Now off to college, we kept in touch as I previously said. I'm back home now for holidays and I want to see her. I wrote her a couple of emails, she hasn't replied to either of them... I want to see her Tuesday, because we are both leaving on the coming Friday. If I don't see her before then, it won't be for another 6 to 7 months, during which since everyone goes on vacation, I still may not see her then. So all may be pushed to next christmas and could go on forever. Usually she replies to my emails with a few days, or right away, specially since now she should have plenty of relaxing time. But she hasn't.... which gets me to wonder if she hasn't read my emails or if just she won't reply. Maybe she doesn't want to see me. Last time we tried to get together, I got there a half-hour late.She had left. Istill hate myself for it. I apologized. She didn't seem mad, but I know she's skilled at hiding her emotions. Now soon, 2004 will begin and I want to get rid of much of the emotional weight it carries, but.. I've been trying that for years! I want to tell her how I've felt, I want her to know everything I've ever felt for her, but I'm not sure I want to pursue a relationship. I want to be there to comfort her when she's down. I want her joy no matter what. I know that last we went our ways, I was in my heart hoping she'd find a lover who'd make her happy... Her joy matters to me. For me, I just want to get rid of that weight, except that ... I wouldn't know what I'm hoping to get out of it. She wouldn't understand... Do I want a romantic relationship with her? I don't know. At times, I think of doing very intimate things to and with her. If she wanted it, I would go for it. But I'm pretty sure she doesn't want that. Otherwise, I'm sure she would have done a better job of keeping in touch. So far, I've been making all the moves, I fear I may be becoming the annoying type of guy one wonders how to get rid of. I'd hate to be clingy or annoying in anyway. Which is why I want to see her so bad, one on one, and tell her how I feel, felt, want to be. Now I can't imagine being friends with her anymore... You know how they are some people you are either lover or nothing, not friends. I don't want to be her friend, I just want her to be mine or not at all. If i asked her how she felt of me she'd probably tell me, she doesn't know. She's quite indecisive. Maybe she doesn't want to hurt me. And if so, I want to know. I feel as if it's holding me back. I mean, the idea of her reminds me of an unfinished ordeal. Maybe I should stop where I am, stay friends, maybe go ten years until we run in each other again, cut all contacts and let her fade in the past. That would mean no more keeping in touch. Which will be hard for me. If I do see her, and do tell her those things and she tells me: NO. I'll be much better off. At least, I'll know I won't have missed on something. And the small fire which burns in us all for each person we care for, might die. I don't want to read it of an email, or on the phone. I want to see it on her lips, from her eyes in mine. And then I may find peace. And then seduce all the other ladies in this world. Everytime I return here, home, she returns on my mind more vivid than before.

Perfect date... some sport or sightseeing , dinner in a never tried before restaurant, while laughing my head off with some great conversation, getting jiggy with it on the dance floor, long night walk under the stars, kisses and xxx.

Hey everyone, I need a little help on the process.... When,where, how do I make my move, I have the horrible tendency of never doing so when I'm on dates with my ladies. ... I mean, I like them, they like me, it's quite clear... but although my entire aura excels with confidence, I just have lots of trouble moving in... (I don't!) Coco Bleu.

Hey Everyone,... I'm one of those people you can't never really give an age to. Of course it wouldn't be a problem if I acted like my age. I'm 18. Most people give me somwhere around 22, but that's only because I'm in university otherwise they wouldn't know whether I'm 20 or 27. They usually choose to give me their age. In order to let people know me before they judge me, I rarely tell them my age until they know me quite well, until I know them enough. The majority of my friends and acquaintances are actually 21 and over... All the ladies I've actually told I was 18 to were surprised, and often asked me ... : " If you are only 18, how come you are so mature" . Basically I could pass as 25 years old, and even my conduct wouldn't get you wondering. Now I wouldn't care less unless.... I went out yesterday with a friend, and while we were chatting she , like many others, attempted to guess my age. Now she's 22. But she gives me 23, add or take 2 years. She even went up to 27, 28. Quite ofscale right? I'm hesitating whether or not I want to be more or not than friends with her. And we all know that most women prefer older men. Well.. it still wouldn't be a problem until I suggested the possiblility that I could be 16. She told me that if I was 16, she'd be really pissed because she'd feel like I'm making fun of her and abusing of her. Basically quite angry... Now... damn it. I fear that if I tell her my actual age, she'd feel somewhat hurt. Something that'd I really hate. It'd even feel to me like i'm fooling her a bit, which really doesn't make me feel good about myself. So what am I to do? never tell her? Tell her and hope that whatever connection we have to go beyond that age "barrier". If I aim to never tell her, we have quite a number of common friends , among which some who know how old I am. And I'd rather her find out from me, than from someone else.

How do you bust a move on your female friend without endangering your friendship if she's not interested that way?

She wants to go see a movie together she wants to go dance together she wants to see my partner she wants to go to the restaurant together Does she wants us to be just friends? I like her as a friend, but I'm curious of well... more than friends...

Eeeh... i know the feeling. Been there... well not exactly. I came over, she was smooching all over another guy. Clearly... during the couple of weeks where I didn't see her someone else took over. My advice to you is go for it, I'm realizing if you don't go for what you want quickly enough, someone else. Hey for all you know she doesn't have a boyfriend, but hot girls don't stay single long, so move in before another guy asks her out.

How about getting out there and back on the dating scene?

A girl asked me out once.... I still have to find the time when neither of us will be busy.... hmm....

hehehe, the hell with what other people think. Excuse my french. But really... don't give them a show, let them bet... whatever. your life doesn't depend on them.... and if u like giving enough of a show, spend more time with your friend, let them believe what they want... it's really doesn't matter if they bet on anything. now on the other hand, if you are really both annoyed by this, then maybe there's more to the story....

Hello, I have a little problem. I'm shy. like a hundred other guys... I know. that's why I'm asking if you have any tips for me to overcome my little problem. I'm pretty confident about myself and other's opinion of me isn't my biggest concern, I get rather well along with people and I always take the pleasure of talking to complete strangers. I don't really have a fear or people or anything such that should undermine my abilities.... It's like this, I can be impressively shy when I'm interested by a very attractive girl. I will flirt, hold eye contact and all the body talk required, until it comes to the point where I'm supposed to open that mouth of mine and say something like "hi" or deliver a funky, funny even cheesy line. I've been trying to get myself to do that, just once. I don't have any trouble talking to other guys or any lady i'm not dazzled by the beauty or sexyness of. I hang out with quite a number of people and I've no recollection of a particular person on earth who had strong dislike of me. So what's stopping me? The worst that could occur is that she already 's got a boyfriend, but would still probably end up being at leasts my friend. Yea... I'm that good. So.... why? I've been trying to get myself to do it, but it just won't happen. It would be easier for me to scream out something stupid in the middle of downtown and have all the attention on me, then to open that mouth of mine and speak. Yet I never do....

so if you've read my previous post, then you know of the girl I liked, but didn't exactly want to call because she wasn't the one to give me her number and i might not have seen her for a while... Anywayz, I went to a party to her appt tonight, I was decided to make my move and that but.... now she has a boyfriend. yaaaaaaaaay! So I take a sit, and I see her smooching some other guy. How am I supposed to feel? It depresses me a bit, so I ended up having a couple of beers, I who almost never drinks. Part of me wanted to get drunk.... Of course, i didn't otherwise I wouldn't be here at the moment. So right now, I................. I guess whenever I meet people now, I'll have to make a move right away...

smiles at you winks at u STARTS talking to u makes sure you notice her touches u