kevin_18

In case you're still interested, contrary to what some people have said here, there is no reason for you to act as s***** towards her as she may have done to you.

Aurian couldn't be any more spot on with this. The more you hear the negative thoughts and challenge them, the more you will overcome your mind. Wow- I feel like I'm in some kind of sci fi convention or something with this whole subject and everyone's futuristic names; Aurian, Cyberchick, Hope75, Caro33 (with galaxy as avatar)! But on a serious note; don't let your mind and compulsive negative self talk take you over, even when you're in the pits.

Either you're saying you feel bad and you know you cheated on him because he's too good for you; or you only know you cheated on him because he's so good. In that light, what does it matter if- when you couldn't resist cheating on good guy A, there can't be many levels to you at moment anyway can there? At least you know you were wrong, all you can do now is try and become a deeper person and maybe apologize to this A grade guy.

If he's that disrespectful and all then he must be a real arsehole. No need to explain, give him the cold sholder.

If the very sight of him turns you on; When you're with him and he doesn't suspect it, grab him round the waist and make out with him and/or go down on him taking his out and putting it in your mouth while forcefully feeling him up whatever you do. Or put your hands up his shirt or down his trowsers and take off his clothes then throw him on the bed and climb ontop of him ect. You can't get much more assertive than that.

Perhaps you do need to talk to her and perhaps think about all the different things you want to say before hand. Make sure you're calm and your timing is right. Could you tell her to come out with you and meet you somewhere and then tell her? If you have to go to too much effort though, it might not be worth it. She might not be worth it.

I hate to be sceptical here but you sound very young. Now you say you "love" this girl and you've placed this post in suicide because that's how "torn up" you think you feel. But this whole situation and the thoughts and feelings you're having about it will pass unless you choose to hang on to them. So the best advice I can give you is to forget about it, stay friends with her if you want but don't beat yourself up if you can't take being with her anymore. I went through the whole romantic desire thing with a couple of girls once but there's not much point unless you become stronger by the end of it.

It's not a bad thing to reflect on thoughts, ideas or incidents as long as you don't get taken away by them. Carried away I mean. If you find the past is interferring with your experience of the present then there is a definite problem as appears to be the case with you. But at least you know that it's a problem. That's the first step in getting rid of it or anything.

I'm not really an advocate of escapism but it's better than the escapism of negative thoughts and day-dreaming on suicide. As far as confronting reality is concerned: Are you in an awkward situation with this girl? If whatever it is with her has messed you up from yourself and your circle of friends then perhaps you should think of a way of apologising. Make sure you get her to one side by yourself and tell her how sorry you are and all that.

Why are you afraid of life? If you stop taking things (particularly your thoughts) so seriously then you can lighten up, take the pressure off yourself and enjoy the surprise of life. I wish I'd finished school now but that's just because I've got tons of work ontop of me. I know it'll be over in a couple of months so I'm just doing my best right now. It's exciting. Look forward to the new aqaintences (sp), however brief or long, however many or few, however enjoyable or undisirable they may be. Nothing stays forever, let alone whoever you meet or whatever you do. Honestly, though, I know it's easy to fall into fear. Whenever you do, remember that time is temporary and this experience fleeting. And for God's sake forget about this girl whoever she is. You're just tormenting yourself with this sad story of yours. You're not the first person to lament over an object of desire that you think can help you or make you feel better or both. You're not the last either, but the whole emotion thing is a waste of time.

Her real name is Terra? That's original.

You really have a way with words. I hear what you're saying but you've got to realise that you still have a life even if this girl leaves. The point is none of it matters. It doesn't make a difference whether you stay friends with this girl or not. The more you dramatize the situation, as you have done in this post, the more unhappiness you will create thinking and acting it out. If you like the girl, just casually ask her for her e-mail address. You don't have to mention that you want to keep in touch or "confess" to her that she's your friend. That's a given. And you don't have to wait until the last minute to tell her that you love her (if at all). Don't worry about it. She'll move on and so will you. In a couple of years, maybe months or whatever, you might ask her to meet up with you at some point. Even if you never hear from her again, it's your choice if you want to torment yourself with this self depression ****.

Is there anything you're interested in doing that you haven't tried before? I can't think of any other examples right now but maybe martial arts? I started going to this club recently and it's amazing! Not only do you get an intensely satisfying physical workout but it's revitalizing for your spirit and mind so you feel great afterwards. You sound like a fairly disciplined guy from what you were saying before so hopefully you shouldn't have a problem fitting a few hours group exercise a week into your schedule. And like these other posters are saying, once you've been a couple of times you'll become better known. I've only been going a month and I'm hooked. Also everyone knows me since I'm a regular now and I have actually made a couple of friends. Unlike me though, you'd really look the part! just kidding. no offence.

And I'm actually English by the way, so not all Europeans are comfortable huggers. In fact, no offence to anyone, many can be quite cold and if they go through the motion of giving you a hug, with smiles and words, that doesn't mean there's any real feeling involved. It's just become another form of handshake. The best hug is the one you're talking about, where you want to, as opposed to a mere formality.

I know what you mean. But if I feel like giving some guy I know a hug then chances are I will. I understand how you feel that, especially, you can't because you're asian but if you just let go then, if anything, people will think you're a really nice guy (not necessarily a gay one). Like Kevin T said, if you live in America people won't think as much about it. Be spontaneous, just let go to the feeling of affection or whatever it is that you have for the other person when it comes up. I just walked right up to someone and gave him a big hug a couple of days ago because I was really happy about a test I'd passed and it was just a natural reaction before I told him and when I saw him. Although I knew he was surprised and felt a bit awkward that didn't stop me from expressing my joy to him. You know you're not gay so if you want to give someone a hug don't worry about what the person will think and don't think about it yourself. Be natural, and the only way to be natural is to be yourself, and the only way to be yourself is not to think about it!

I haven't read any more of your story than this post. Is it so hard for you to be alone for a while? You couldn't have made yourself sound like you had a bigger ego if you'd tried. Why's it such a "confusing sick" feeling if you're not sure whether this girls just testing you out first instead of jumping on your crotch like you suggest you're used to? You don't seem like much of a mystery from what you've said, man.

hmm.. Lana, I'd agree I sometimes say funny things but not the rest of those things you said. I'd date myself. The first kiss would be a very romantic and somewhat odd moment (since it's myself that I'm dating) but it wouldn't take too long to get each other going. I wonder how much I really would like to date myself... Such a weird thought. No maybe this is all wrong. I like the differences in people and I've never yet met anyone remotely similar to myself so I can't say.

I haven't got a partner so I only imagine what this might be like. What is it you actually want from this relationship? You haven't said anything about her apart from the problem you have. So I'm guessing that like countless other relationships, you're more interested in the idea that you have one, than in the actual person you're talking about. Whether what I said before is true or not, THIS NEXT POINT IS IMPORTANT. It seems like you're being too submissive and I don't doubt that your gf enjoys that. You say you "give into her very easily and find it almost impossible to tell her no" so as a result she doesn't expect you to say no to her. Whether she knows that or not doesn't matter because it's part of the unspoken agreement you made when you started going out with her. Depending on her character, she will either accept and understand what you're saying or not. Are you too shy to touch on this subject with her, because you don't want to jepordize the relationship? Or do you think she won't take it and discuss it with you like you'd want? In any case, I think if you can't talk deeply with someone then theres no relationship at all. Let alone one to "jepordize".

How long have you been living in Japan? I've always wanted to go! I know this much about the Japanese, if you want to learn anything about sex, you're at least in the right place lol! (of course that's got nothing to do with why I want to visit). And someone on here said that the clit is three times more sensitive than the head of a . If that's of any interest.

Newo Ikkin and Sparkle1 are completely right. I know my best friend (a guy) has never masturbated and neither has someone else I know, purely for moral reasons. It's not that weird and you really should feel priveleged that her first sexual experience will be initiated by/with you. This is something I honestly don't know; how easy is it for girls to get wet without masturbating? You don't have to produce lubricant (don't know how else to say it) if you're orgasming do you? I mean you can have multiple orgasms just with your mind and in other parts of your body can't you? She might have felt she never had the urge to for those reasons or the ones below. Has she got a low sex drive and her eagerness to get it on with you is because she suddenly feels she desparately wants to or your the first person she's felt she loved/trusted to confide in/experiment with/wanted inside her? Or if her knowledge on the matter is so limited, maybe she felt scared to try it out for a number of more reasons (i.e. medical, moral, something/s she heard that made her afraid and may have stayed with her subconsciously to do with either of the previous). Didn't she ever think about sex much? Has she never been very attracted to anyone? Did she have a long buried idea in her mind that she wanted the first time to seriously be the first time? An incident occurred involving herself/someone she knew/or that she just saw happen either with her own eyes or through a film/something she read, which in whatever case, stayed with her. These are all just some ideas and questions which you should keep in mind when you talk to her, which, as everyone so rightly says, you must do at an appropriate time. btw it's all just some food for thought and keep in mind how I started this off; She's not that abnormal. As sparkle1 put it, "i think IMO that you're making her feel like she has an issue when she doesn't.". I don't know you or her so everything I've just typed might be a waste of time. Be honest with yourself, no offence meant, but are you on a bit of an ego trip? You want sex in your relationship, but how long do you want the relationship if there won't be any/much sex?

Are you sure you're not just reading too much into things that she's done or said at some point in the past. Would you like her to have some kind of secondery motive or are you just genuinely confused? How long has she been your friend and how long has she been going out with the other guy what do you know of her relationship with him? Perhaps she just wants to tell you something or talk to you.

very funny.

While you're on this topic, I've kindof got an embarising problem too. Sometimes I get ichy you know where and it gets a bit red pealing slightly in one area. Does anyone know anything about this? I never thought it meant much but just wondering if someone knows.

I'm an idiot. Forgive me.